To be fuming over her cancelling hobby

[thatsalad]

There is a hobby I do that's hosted by someone who is away for the whole summer, so she put another regular in charge of hosting. We always get less people coming in the summer due to holidays, but we still crack on.

This person who is now in charge pushed for it to be paused in the summer due to low numbers, so she posted a poll in the group chat and literally every single person voted they don't want it to be paused, cue few weeks later and she informed us it's being paused until september.

Aibu to be fuming over her ignoring everyone's votes in the poll and making a unilateral decision? Aibu to ask her why she has done that or even messaging the actual host to complain about her behavior?

Unsurprising. As I said in my original comment...

Usually with holiday periods like summer what people want is for their activity/class/meetup to stay running so that it’s available to them on the weeks it’s convenient. But people don’t actually want to commit to attending every week during those periods, which is what the host/organizer/instructor has to do. If only a small number of people are showing up each week it likely doesn’t feel worth it to the substitute host to be the only one making that regular commitment.

So the substitute host was frustrated by the fact that she was making sure she and her home were available consistently every meeting while only a small number of people showed up and everyone else skipped. She made this clear and then posted a poll asking if people actually wanted to continue meeting over the summer.

In the weeks after that poll did attendance actually improve? Or did most people continue to demonstrate that they actually just wanted the host to keep being available for a few of them to show up if and when it happened to be convenient but didn't actually care that much about attending?

i can understand the annoyance, but im not sure what you expect will happen. I wonder why she agreed to it in the first place? Its a very people-pleaser way of going about it. Its annoying when people say theyll do something because theyre too chickenshit to be assertive and use their words. Then a poll, which she ignored when it didnt give her "permission" to cancel but not be her decision.
I am not sure what complaining will acheive, but id definitely feel a bit annoyed about it

Don’t be so ridiculous. She was doing you a favour and was perfectly entitled to change her mind.

She wasn't doing anyone a favour because other people can host too

Then let them!

If she's hosting whatever this hobby is (book club), at her house then she can certainly over ride the vote. People are allowed to change their minds. You can meet elsewhere. Plus maybe entertaining so many guests was overwhelming and the fuss for just 3 is too much to bare. Either way, it doesn't matter if its her house.

If its just a question of getting a set of keys to gain access to your rug making looms set up in someone's garden shed, then you can volunteer to run it but they might not want people on their property whilst they're away.

Ultimately, people are allowed to change their minds and if so many of you want to continue, why haven't you just decided to go elsewhere or take it in turns to host.

Have any of these people actually volunteered to do so?

If so then surely the group is continuing to meet and this is all a moot point.

Including you? So did you offer?

You have a whatsapp group and full use of your fingers. Just send the invite yourself. E.g.
"As there won't be group sessions for the next 4 weeks, I'm happy to host book reading at my house, 7pm Tuesdays as usual. Let me know if you're able to come and I'll pass you my address."
OR
"As there isn't a running club planned, happy to still run with anyone around. Meet at 9am by the cafe on Thursday if you're interested. We will set off 9.15 prompt."

Then there's no need for the hobby to be cancelled. Summer is saved!

Dear lord 😂😂

I wasn't never annoyed about the hobby being paused, it was about the way she went about it

Maybe go back and read your thread title...

It’s not the Goole and District Catholic River Wideners Club is it? Where only someone whose property includes a watercourse you can legally dig can host? That might explain those who cannot step up and take over.

Except they don't want to, including you, which makes you as bad as you perceive her to be. You don't want to host and yet you're "fuming" that somebody else doesn't want to. If I was her I'd be looking to join a different group as yours sound like it's full of sulky teenagers, not supposedly mature adults.

It's not

For the 100th time, I'm not fuming over her not wanting to host

That's even worse!

You're fuming over someone changing their mind even though it doesn't affect you or your ability to do the hobby at all?

I am ND and really, when I say that I am annoyed about her not speaking up directly about not wanting to host, but going about it in a way that pretends she is asking for other people's input and then ignoring it, I mean it. It's a quality I can't stand in people.

There is no hidden meaning, I'm not secretly mad that she is not hosting it because that's her right. Hope that at least clarifies things somewhat, I will ask MN to delete the thread now.

Incorrect again

So the whole thing is moot, just get someone else to host.

Not the point

I'm ND and this is literally what you've described yourself as being annoyed about

ND was hella a drip feed. If you said I’m ND i have very literal and rigid thinking it might have made more sense.
but still as Elsa would say, let it go.

Ok I'm ND too, so maybe thats why I can understand your frustration. People pleasers annoy the shit out of me.
Say what you mean and mean what you say!