To be fuming over her cancelling hobby

[thatsalad]

There is a hobby I do that's hosted by someone who is away for the whole summer, so she put another regular in charge of hosting. We always get less people coming in the summer due to holidays, but we still crack on.

This person who is now in charge pushed for it to be paused in the summer due to low numbers, so she posted a poll in the group chat and literally every single person voted they don't want it to be paused, cue few weeks later and she informed us it's being paused until september.

Aibu to be fuming over her ignoring everyone's votes in the poll and making a unilateral decision? Aibu to ask her why she has done that or even messaging the actual host to complain about her behavior?

Whatever the reasoning, she did make it clear she didn't want to host it any longer, so do it yourselves. YABU.

She's not obliged to host! If everyone else wants it to carry on, why can't one of you host?

You're being a bit entitled here. Presumably she isn't being paid for any of this. Poll or no poll, 'fuming' is a ridiculous reaction to what amounts to someone saying 'Sorry, but I'm not going to do a ton of work to facilitate something for other people all summer when I'm actually not bothered about it myself.'

You would be unreasonable to complain to her or the original host. I think a 3 week pause over August when most people are already not attending does not sound super unreasonable. On the poll, I guess that the only people who voted were the people who wanted to attend - why would anyone vote to pause the activity for others if they were just choosing not to go anyway. So the poll is neither here nor there. I agree your options are to accept or to volunteer yourself.

What was the point in the poll then?

The fact she did a poll shows it should make a difference in what people want but she has done her own thing anyway

I’ve got a feeling this is going to be a thread where OP doesn’t tell us why she can’t host it, and we all try and guess what hobby it could be, that can only be hosted by certain people!

I’m going against the majority and I agree with you.

Why did this person agree to take over the reigns over summer to then turn around and say she can’t do it?
Was anyone else given an opportunity to take over instead of her?
It’s shitty of her to do a poll, ask what everyone thinks, then ignore you all anyway. I see how you feel you’ve been messed around.

HOWEVER I do think someone else should just offer to host it then? If there’s a group of you who still want to go ahead, why can’t you?

I’d definitely be annoyed that she took on the role, posted the poll and then ignored it. But it seems pretty common for hobbies to be paused over the school holidays. I wouldn’t complain but I would say how much you’ve missed the hobby, you were really disappointed as everyone on the poll wanted to come etc. when the original host comes back. Not all hobbies can be hosted by random attendees as PPs have suggested (e.g. I used to go to a musical group but not all of us could teach, conduct or even play well. I definitely couldn’t have lead the group)

Maybe she has something else going on she doesn't want to discuss, whatever your hobby is I'm sure you can do it without her

This. Was she being paid to host it?

Can't you just crack on without her?

Can the rest of you not get together on your own?

She may have a good reason

Is the host actually an instructor? Is that why no one else can do it?

@thatsalad YANBU OP. The woman who was supposed to be running the group in the summer shouldn't have agreed to do it if she couldn't or didn't want to. And organising a vote and then completely ignoring the result is bad form.
Could you, or one of the other members of the group who want it to continue, take on running it for the summer instead?

On the basis that they took on the "hosting" specifically for the summer, I would be miffed too. Is there something that the rest of you can do instead that doesn't require a host?

Most hobby activities I do, pause over the summer; one (small) group we will arrange a meal out or just a social get together that doesn't need - but nit actually doing our hobby - and not needing anyone to "host".

This

You sound like a cheeky fucker if you’re not prepared to step up and offer to host.

What is it and why can't someone else host it?

I think it's pretty normal though for groups like that to pause over the summer especially if the numbers are low.

Is it something like she thought she could juggle hosting and the kids being off for the summer l. She thought it would be feasible, but as now realised it isn’t. Ordinarily when the kids are in school it would have been fine.

hard to say without more info on the hobby. Is it something where someone needs to instruct like yoga or a choir. Or is it more of a book club where you just need someone’s lounge and a place to all meet

How entitled are you? You host it then!

I am a Christian. Would sing along with the hymns as l like that but no way am l praying out loud in front of lots of people l don't know. Surely if this is even a small wedding it's far too many people for everyone to sit and listen to. What about if someone rambles on all day.
It's a no from me. Just say you are not comfortable with speaking in front of people.

If everyone else wants to continue there should be no problem finding cover hosts to see you all through the Summer.

If everyone just wants somebody else to do the hosting - well too bad, someone has to step up and host or wait for September.

How many of the “yes” voters volunteered to do a session themselves? If attendance is low but the “yes” vote was high then it suggests people want someone else to be available when it suits them to rock up but they don’t want to contribute to the hosting. That would put me off hosting a group frankly.

My guess is that she didn’t want to host the group so she did the poll in the hope that everyone else would want the break, so that she didn’t have to look like the bad guy. But that obviously backfired meaning she had to be brave enough to speak out.

Nobody can force a volunteer to do something if they don’t want to do it. And if other members similarly don’t want to do it themselves then they can’t complain.

Yeah - it's not ideal to say you'll do something and then back out but you have no idea what else might have happened in the meantime. She might have plenty of her own stuff going on, she might have asked several people for help who refused, she might have a financial commitment she wasn't expecting... volunteering is a massive commitment and again, unless you are willing to do it yourself you just have to deal with whatever other people are going to offer.

(Regularly annoyed PTA volunteer here!)

I’d be annoyed about the poll, why waste people’s time? Just say you can’t do it.

I’m in a similar situation, except the new host is rubbish and people who said they would go are not. I’ll be honest, I don’t want to go either because of this host but I’m in the minority where my word still means something so I’ll suck it up for a few more weeks.