To be fuming over her cancelling hobby

[thatsalad]

There is a hobby I do that's hosted by someone who is away for the whole summer, so she put another regular in charge of hosting. We always get less people coming in the summer due to holidays, but we still crack on.

This person who is now in charge pushed for it to be paused in the summer due to low numbers, so she posted a poll in the group chat and literally every single person voted they don't want it to be paused, cue few weeks later and she informed us it's being paused until september.

Aibu to be fuming over her ignoring everyone's votes in the poll and making a unilateral decision? Aibu to ask her why she has done that or even messaging the actual host to complain about her behavior?

Can it run without her?
can someone else run it?
can you run it?
was there a reason she was tasked with running it seeing she doesn’t seem keen?

People wanting it to continue to run so it’s available for it to attend does not mean that someone wants to commit to hosting it every week.

Usually with holiday periods like summer what people want is for their activity/class/meetup to stay running so that it’s available to them on the weeks it’s convenient. But people don’t actually want to commit to attending every week during those periods, which is what the host/organizer/instructor has to do. If only a small number of people are showing up each week it likely doesn’t feel worth it to the substitute host to be the only one making that regular commitment.

If you want it to continue offer to host or consider working with other members who are in your same situation to come up with a rotation system.

Whether I can host or what the hobby is are completely irrelevant, because that's not what the thread is about. It's about how irritating it is that she posted a poll, then ignored everyone's votes in the poll and made a decision for everyone.

Most people in the thread are missing the point.

It’s relevant because it’s not clear if someone else could feasibly take over or what you’re actually expecting from
the person in question.

People like this are annoying, yes.
She was asked to host over the summer - said yes when she either didn’t want to or ended up overcommitting/changed her mind. Instead of saying no in the first place or being honest about her change of mind/circumstances posted a poll hoping it would go the way she wanted - it didn’t so she ignored it and cancelled the group anyway. The nuance of course is voting numbers - if only 10% of people bothered to votes and they were a yes…that means 90% don’t care or their lack of vote is a no.
I think it is relevant whether someone else could’ve stepped up or not. If they could then just cancelling it rather than asking if anyone else was willing to take over makes it worse.
Bottom-line though is she didn’t want to do it so isn’t, and isn’t being honest about that. Fuming is quite a strong reaction though.

I voted YABU because there could be a million reasons why they can’t host anymore.

You also didn’t say how many people voted - you may have all voted yes but if the numbers are too low it’ll not be worth their time.

No, you are missing the point. You can offer to host it then, as it's so easy.

Maybe she can no longer host. Or no longer wants to.

YABU - you or someone else who wants it to continue can host

Total overreaction to a minor issue. YABU.

You said fewer people go in the summer.
Are the people in the WhatsApp group only the ones who go in the summer or is the larger group included?

It's all well and good people saying they'll go but maybe attendance doesn't match up with what people say because on the day of the event they decide they can't be arsed to go because they are doing x,y and z because it's the summer.

I think the poll was a daft idea. Maybe she thought nobody would say yes because they normally don't go and then it bit her on the arse when they said yes, they wanted the sessions to continue, on the off chance they could be bothered to go. Really if she wasn't able to host she should have said so and asked if others were able to instead of her.

I'll ask again, why can't someone else host if you're all that keen to go?

Asking if you can host is not missing the point. Everyone in the world can vote that she should not cancel, but of course she gets to unilaterally decide what she does and you can’t force her to do anything.

If you want it to continue then someone else needs to step up and host.

What is the point of the thread?

Whether I can host or what the hobby is are completely irrelevant, because that's not what the thread is about. It's about how irritating it is that she posted a poll, then ignored everyone's votes in the poll and made a decision for everyone

It's a little bit irritating, yes. She didn't handle the situation very well. But to say that you are fuming, and want to make a complaint about her behaviour seems very over the top.

And it's not totally irrelevant as to whether you can host. If you are not prepared to do so, then you can't really complain when someone else doesn't want to either. Is hosting a voluntary thing? Or is this a paid-for club? As long as you are not being asked to pay for weeks when there's no meeting, then it's nothing more than a minor inconvenience.

So yes you could host then, but you don't want to. And you're annoyed someone else doesn't want to.

The point was whether I should say something about how it's not okay for her to post a poll and then ignore said poll, either to her or the host.

Incorrect

It would have been better if she had said outright, I will not be able to host this over the summer, and then said our options are - suspended it, or find someone else to host it. The latter might not be an option, as has been mentioned- and of course it could be that her circumstances have changed, but in that case, she could have said, despite the poll results, I just can't do it, so our only option is to suspend.

Still, if no one else is able to do ot, you just have to live with it, and maybe give feedback thst it could have been communicated better.

If course it's okay for her to decide not to host it anymore. The poll isn't legally binding. She is not obligated to host it and she clearly doesn't want to.

The ONLY thing you should say is 'I'm eager to keep it going, how about I host?'

No. That's the thing, she didn't "ignore" the votes in the poll because it wasn't a group decision for her to host or not. The group does not get to make that decision for her.

Knowing that people want the group to continue to be hosted by her through the summer is only one factor in her decision about whether to continue hosting, and frankly not the most important one.

You seem to think that the poll was the group voting to keep the group running and her cancelling was overriding that democratic process - that's not what it was. It was her collecting some potentially relevant info about attendee interest before she made her decision about hosting.

You know there's interest in it running, the group just currently doesn't have a host. Find a host or accept that no one (including you) wants to actually be the one taking responsibility right now.

Of course it's okay for her to do that 😂

You're creating a massive drama over absolutely nothing.

But if she's the one hosting it's entirely up to her whether to hold the sessions or not. No one else actually gets a say.

She was probably trying to avoid saying Absolutely Not but it backfired. That's irrelevant, though, as it's only her opinion that matters when she's the one being inconvenienced.

Is it slimming world?

No, you should not. The poll was not a legally binding contract. She's allowed to change her mind about hosting. If you are so annoyed about the break in your hobby, why are you not stepping up and hosting?

So post right everyone agreed not to pause it / I’m happy to host, but it’s been paused anyway - I’m happy to post on Wednesday at 7

Are you sure that it's us missing the point? From reading your posts it seems that you are needlessly annoyed at someone else not wanting to do a thing when there is an easy solution for you all.

I think it's you who are missing the point and are getting fixated on this minor issue.