Would you charge your parents rent in these circumstances?

[TheSummerof25]

Long story short for the past 8 years my parents have stored (both inside and out) a number of large items/vehicles at our house. One in particular (a huge caravan) blocks our view and I WFH, without it, i have a lovely open aspect and can watch my chickens and the wildlife on my front from my office window. With it, all I can see is the bloody caravan. They know we don’t like it, we’ve reluctantly tolerated it because they’re our parents.

They do help with childcare, but tbh it’s got to the point where they moan so much and have other priorities we don’t bother asking, for example over the summer I’ve just sent them to clubs where they should have been with parents because their apathy was so apparent - it was four days of the summer I’d asked for.

We look after their pets when they go away, we pay a sitter for ours as we know “how busy” my retired parents are. Whereas we just slot it in.

When I bought a house early in my career, I with much lower pay, they lent me £35k for the deposit. I paid it back within 4 years (moved in with now DH and sold my house) but they charged me “rent” proportionally to the value of the house before it sold. DH always thought this was mean. Both parents retired at 55 and have had several inheritances which have mostly funded the stuff dumped at our house - my point they’re comfortable and have reliable income streams.

Now we’re moving, into a house with an income stream to support retirement plans and they have assumed they can continue to store all their junk, but not only that, want an upgrade of dry storage for all items. Storage is used by the business and so there is a loss associated with letting them have that for free. I said they could get planning and build their own barn, but they don’t want the expense. DH has looked and storage for all their items is easily in the region of £350 per month if not more. He said they can store it but they have to pay - like they charged me rent. This move is a huge investment from us and is with a long term view.

I’m reluctant to charge them, but equally don’t think waterproof items which are now stored outside should be prioritised for items we actually need to store for the business. It will create a gap for us. Parents think we could just make it work. Although haven’t enquired how.

YABU - you can’t charge your parents storage
YANBU - they’ve had 8 years free and can put their hands in their pocket.

I definitely would charge rent 🙈 but I’d sit down and explain about the fact that you need the storage and that that is costing you money. I was absolutely floored by the fact that they charged you rent on the deposit! So mean!

It sounds like the perfect time to stop it all.
Just tell them you will not be taking any of the stuff with you.
Give them plenty of notice to rehouse it all.

I’d have said no ages ago

in fact I’d have said no from the start

just get them to sell or move the caravan

I’d have had it towed elsewhere by now

@DigbysMum23 yes and I could ill afford it at the time. DH was horrified as it was always the plan to return the capital. It was more expensive in “rent” that interest on my mortgage and I really didn’t understand their motivation because they live very comfortably.

I completely agree with this

Just refuse point blank to take any of their items with you to the new house

it’s theirs so they have to deal with their junk

You’re just enabling them to keep hoarding

I’d have had it towed elsewhere by now

That’s what DH said, he’s absolutely hates it and has made it very clear. He worked really hard renovating and we have a beautiful home but it’s a bloody eyesore. He tolerates it for me. If he makes space they fill it, they just turn up with junk! My sibling started and we had to have serious words - their response was “but you have the space!”

You have very greedy selfish parents I’m afraid

I too would be telling them that the move is about your business, and you're no longer prepared to store their stuff, as doing so will cost you money.

As a matter of interest OP, how often do they actually USE any of it?

they lent me £35k for the deposit. I paid it back within 4 years (moved in with now DH and sold my house) but they charged me “rent” proportionally to the value of the house before it sold

I’ll be honest, I don’t quite understand this. It doesn’t sound good though.

Why are you putting up with this madness?

They sound awful.

@NoCommentingFromNowOn so
for arguments sake say £35k represented 25% of the value - I was charged for that value like shared ownership.

My Dad especially has been a wonderful Dad and I’ve wanted to help him because he’s always helped me. But I feel like it’s role reversal now and they’re self centered teenagers who have just forgotten about everyone else around them.

Rarely! DH keeps track and has calculated their outlay vs the cost of renting the bigger items. It’s not cost efficient and that’s with free storage!

NEITHER. Just stop doing it. Please.

Bloody hell.

Give them notice and be done with it. You owe them nothing.

Cancel the cheque! This is mad, particularly when they charged you rent for the deposit.

My Dad especially has been a wonderful Dad and I’ve wanted to help him because he’s always helped me

He made a profit on you. A lot of profit.

In what way has he been wonderful?

Im not trying to be a cow but it doesn’t sound like it. I can’t fathom treating my child the way they treat you.

@Merryoldgoat gave me a good, privileged upbringing and supported my education- they did use some inheritance to pay for my post grad (my siblings all got the same). They have always been penny pinchers though. But my Dad has provided loads of practical support and always been someone I can rely on.

They got really mean when they retired, despite chosing to very early. They splurge on things but then spend ages whittering about not knowing how long they’re going to live and so finances being tough - which I get.

They charged you rent, not relaying the loan but on top !. I’ve lent all my children deposits etc over the years which they repay an agreed amount but no internet and more often or not I just tell them to stop after about 75%, and sometimes this repayment can take forever.

but tbh I think as you’re moving you should work out what works best for you and your family, if you have space an out building or whatever and they have that space and no more for a set amount a month then fine it will give you extra income, how reliable only you know . But if I was in your shoes I would say new property and it’s an end to you storing their stuff. You might not be using all the space at the moment but as your business and family grows you will need it.

I'd simply tell them, 'we are moving house so you'll need to get your stuff cleared from our property' and stick to it.

This is the perfect time to get rid of their shit. Either they collect it or you get the scrap man to do so. Their choice.

The things you describe is normal parenting

I think you could do with reframing your experience. Providing well for your children within your means is what you are supposed to do as a parent.

But its not just about you. It will be your dh house aswell.
So it doesnt matter how nice they have been .
You are not talking about a couple of boxes being stored.

This is exactly what I thought. Just stop the whole situation. If you charge them will they ask for more space, shove more stuff in etc. I think a cleaner, purely family relationship with them is needed. I think they were really mean to charge rent on the portion of your house.

@Floranan thank you, the space is already used by the person who owns the house for the business; we will operate in the same way. Space is at a premium for clients and you can never have enough.

They have this attitude, and have commented, that we have plenty of money, which tbh stings a bit. My DH easily works 60-70 hours weeks and I work too with a young family. This move is with a view to DH winding down as he recognises he can’t continue at the pace he is for another 30 years - but it’s serving a purpose now. We are comfortable - but not set for like which actually, they and have inherited a hell of a lot and we’ve never seen a penny! They’ve splurged a lot.