Would you charge your parents rent in these circumstances?

[TheSummerof25]

Long story short for the past 8 years my parents have stored (both inside and out) a number of large items/vehicles at our house. One in particular (a huge caravan) blocks our view and I WFH, without it, i have a lovely open aspect and can watch my chickens and the wildlife on my front from my office window. With it, all I can see is the bloody caravan. They know we don’t like it, we’ve reluctantly tolerated it because they’re our parents.

They do help with childcare, but tbh it’s got to the point where they moan so much and have other priorities we don’t bother asking, for example over the summer I’ve just sent them to clubs where they should have been with parents because their apathy was so apparent - it was four days of the summer I’d asked for.

We look after their pets when they go away, we pay a sitter for ours as we know “how busy” my retired parents are. Whereas we just slot it in.

When I bought a house early in my career, I with much lower pay, they lent me £35k for the deposit. I paid it back within 4 years (moved in with now DH and sold my house) but they charged me “rent” proportionally to the value of the house before it sold. DH always thought this was mean. Both parents retired at 55 and have had several inheritances which have mostly funded the stuff dumped at our house - my point they’re comfortable and have reliable income streams.

Now we’re moving, into a house with an income stream to support retirement plans and they have assumed they can continue to store all their junk, but not only that, want an upgrade of dry storage for all items. Storage is used by the business and so there is a loss associated with letting them have that for free. I said they could get planning and build their own barn, but they don’t want the expense. DH has looked and storage for all their items is easily in the region of £350 per month if not more. He said they can store it but they have to pay - like they charged me rent. This move is a huge investment from us and is with a long term view.

I’m reluctant to charge them, but equally don’t think waterproof items which are now stored outside should be prioritised for items we actually need to store for the business. It will create a gap for us. Parents think we could just make it work. Although haven’t enquired how.

YABU - you can’t charge your parents storage
YANBU - they’ve had 8 years free and can put their hands in their pocket.

@Merryoldgoat yes I see what you mean. I think because my mum was never really maternal I’ve always been grateful to my dad!

I wouldn’t charge rent. I would tell them to clear everything by the end of the month.

Yes and he loathes it and always has. He has always said it’s really cheeky.

my honest opinion, your parents are selfish adult brats. A normal adult does not retire at 55.

@Mauvehoodie you’re right re them moving more. I am not exaggerating when I say we frequently just arrive home to random items left on our driveway or in our garage. Somethings get in our way!

I actually thought allowing them to build a barn was pretty generous. They absolutely can afford it and I thought at the end of it all we’d benefit from the building so it’s a win win.

Have they always been money orientated?
I think continuing to accommodate their items will only prolong the stress, they need to start making arrangements now.
Unfortunately, it is near impossible to change people's attitudes to money.

Goodness
Please read toxic parent
You are still playing the part of dutiful daughter , trying to get your parents approval.

Boundaries.
Give them notice on their junk.
They won’t believe you so start getting rid.
Clean slate op.
As for paying rent - are they having a laugh?
You owe them nothing.

they sound quite manipulative :-(

@Praying4Peace my Mum has. She would always remind me that she’s had to “borrow money” (by which she meant dip into her savings) to buy normal supplies like a winger coat or whatever. We always worked as young teens (which I know instills a good work ethic). They have always saved really hard to retire so early.

I could never profit off my children …..

Just stop the storage.

Tell them all the storage at the new place is for the business and it's all spoken for so unfortunately they will have to make other arrangements for their stuff.

If you home gown to something you don’t own on your property get it removed. If your parents have never asked you to store it then you can honestly deny all knowledge of it ever being there!

But yes I agree with telling them you can no longer store their stuff. It’s there and they either need to buy their own house with more land or pay storage costs.

Can you get an electric gate to your new property so they can’t just turn up and dump stuff?

Tbh I’d just want the stuff out of the way, and as you’re moving it’s a good time to do it.

Interested to hear I'm not a normal adult 🙄I do voluntary work, does that make me any more normal?
OP, I'd go for the 3rd option - their stuff needs to go.

Most people de-clutter when they move; asking your parents to move their stuff is part of the process of moving. Don't let them build anything to store their junk in; they need to put it elsewhere and not on your property. Time to put your foot down, OP.

@dogcatkittenhas it - no negotiations, so arguments, you present it as fact. This move is for a business, so therefore there is no storage for anyone at your new house

Why are you storing their junk? Why can’t they keep it at their house?

I would be delivering it all back and telling them that anything left at your new house to store will be thrown out/recycled/sold

Retiring young doesn’t make them not a normal adult

Seriously you need to tell them it’s a fresh start for you & DH and your retirement plan and you are no longer storing anything for them.

Surely they need to move the stuff now to make your current home more saleable.

You are getting a strong message from other posters to say no more. They are correct.
For too long you have put your parents needs and wants ahead of your own husband and family. Time to reevaluate and show some respect for your husband's needs and wants. Put him first for once.
Give them notice and stand with your husband.

Edited to say do not charge them rent. Imagine their sense of entitlement if you do. They will move themselves in as well as all their rubbish

@RandomMess we’ve already sold, they moved it for viewings. They took it home. They do have the space but it’s less secure than our house.

OP, you need to give them a time frame for removing all of their stuff and not allow them to bring any more from now on. Do they use the caravan. Why can’t they have it where they live?

DH finds it equally shocking. He is always astonished they never “treat us” like to a takeaway or meal out - in fact we tend to more than them.!!

@Flossflower they have space but it’s less secure. There’s plenty of storage options locally it just costs and is less convenient (because they can rock up at mine at all house etc etc).