Would you charge your parents rent in these circumstances?

[TheSummerof25]

Long story short for the past 8 years my parents have stored (both inside and out) a number of large items/vehicles at our house. One in particular (a huge caravan) blocks our view and I WFH, without it, i have a lovely open aspect and can watch my chickens and the wildlife on my front from my office window. With it, all I can see is the bloody caravan. They know we don’t like it, we’ve reluctantly tolerated it because they’re our parents.

They do help with childcare, but tbh it’s got to the point where they moan so much and have other priorities we don’t bother asking, for example over the summer I’ve just sent them to clubs where they should have been with parents because their apathy was so apparent - it was four days of the summer I’d asked for.

We look after their pets when they go away, we pay a sitter for ours as we know “how busy” my retired parents are. Whereas we just slot it in.

When I bought a house early in my career, I with much lower pay, they lent me £35k for the deposit. I paid it back within 4 years (moved in with now DH and sold my house) but they charged me “rent” proportionally to the value of the house before it sold. DH always thought this was mean. Both parents retired at 55 and have had several inheritances which have mostly funded the stuff dumped at our house - my point they’re comfortable and have reliable income streams.

Now we’re moving, into a house with an income stream to support retirement plans and they have assumed they can continue to store all their junk, but not only that, want an upgrade of dry storage for all items. Storage is used by the business and so there is a loss associated with letting them have that for free. I said they could get planning and build their own barn, but they don’t want the expense. DH has looked and storage for all their items is easily in the region of £350 per month if not more. He said they can store it but they have to pay - like they charged me rent. This move is a huge investment from us and is with a long term view.

I’m reluctant to charge them, but equally don’t think waterproof items which are now stored outside should be prioritised for items we actually need to store for the business. It will create a gap for us. Parents think we could just make it work. Although haven’t enquired how.

YABU - you can’t charge your parents storage
YANBU - they’ve had 8 years free and can put their hands in their pocket.

I wouldn't charge them rent, that could get more messy and complicated and you don't actually want to store their stuff. Just tell them you won't be storing anything of theirs on the new property so they need to make other arrangements before you move.

I wouldn't be charging them rent because I wouldn't be letting them store the stuff at the new property at all.

Tell them that with the move to the new property you need all the space for clients so it won't be possible to store the --shitty- caravan and all the other crap so they'll need to make other arrangements.

Use the move as an opportunity to stop this once and for all.

You don’t have the space though, do you? They do. Hence the market rate for storage.

Are they hoarders?

I think it's time for them to take charge of their stuff. You are moving and you are no longer willing to be free storage and make your home an eyesore with their stuff. Your space is business space, not their storage.

If they bring something, do not accept it, out it goes. Sibling tries, same.

It's time to put your husband ahead of your parents in your home.

I can't believe they charged you rent on top of paying back a loan. That's preposterous.

Just tell them you cannot store their stuff anymore. That storage space is for business and there is none available without a commercial-rent paid. Ask them when they will be moving their items (especially the caravan!)

I think eight years is very generous and it is clear your DH is very much over providing free storage.
Easiest to just not offer any storage free or otherwise going forwards so there are no blurred boundaries. Feel so sorry for you with the compromised view because of the caravan! Just because you have space does not mean they can fill it. Moving is a great opportunity for a clean slate (and an empty barn!)
Slightly different, but we got saddled with various bits of furniture while our parents were all still alive ‘ because we had space’ - and now they’ve all passed on we feel guilty for getting rid of the furniture we never asked for! Don’t be us!

I don’t understand why you are agreeing to store it when they appear to have enough money to deal with their own possessions. Just say no you can’t store it anymore. Or get DH to tell them it’s enough.

Much simpler just to tell your parents that once you move they can’t use your property for storage anymore .

They sound anxious as if they want to do it all and have it all now. You are enabling behaviour that aren't healthy and not setting boundaries. You have to prioritise your own young family. Tell them it needs to be moved to alternative and paid for storage or they will need a bigger house themselves to put it all which they can clearly afford. You do sound angry with them for not sharing and there are underlying issues around money but may not be worth bringing that up

You have to choose your DH on this one (and all similar issues)! Why the hell haven't you already?

8 years is beyond ridiculous.

If your new house is part-business with clients visiting - that is an even further reason (not that you need one) to stop storing your parents' things - especially the ugly caravan. Any reasonable family member would understand this. If they don't, you shouldn't therefore feel guilty, for pointing it out to them.

The move would be a good time to get all their things off your property.

Well, I would take any keys away from them. If they ask for you to open anything up just say not convenient.

That's appalling they used you their own child to make a profit. I'd tell them when you move they must take their stuff away including the caravan. Don't take no for an answer.

Seriously just tell them that you can't store their things at the new place and they need to find somewhere else for it.

Any kind of rental agreements is going to lead to arguments in the future. I think they should just take all the stuff and move it elsewhere. I'm really shocked that they've treated you so badly.

They have the space? Perfect. Then they can use it. And they can use some of the money they unfairly took off you to make it secure if they wish.
They will gripe and whinge though OP. And try to turn it round on you. Stay strong.

I agree with all other posters. Stand up for your DP.

Tell you parents if the caravan isn't moved by X date you're selling it or getting it towed to XYZ storage. I'd hate to have someone elses caravan on my property.

Why aren't you willing to put your husband first instead of pandering to your parents?

@TheSummerof25 they have space but it’s less secure. I cannot see how everything is less secure at their own place if they are able to just rock up to yours and put in your ungated drive or in your unlocked barn!!!!!

whenever you move into your new place, get locks on everything and get a locked gate which stays locked and required a passcode to open which will not be known to them!! your storage keys will mysteriously disappear when they visit!!

You let them know that you won’t be taking their belongings with you when you move, they can sell it or find somewhere else to store it. They know you and DH don’t like living like Steptoe and Son yet carry on bringing their junk round, you are enabling them. Don’t try to help them by discussing them building a barn or putting everything in storage facilities as they then turn it on you by guilting you and nothing gets done except them leaving more items on your drive.
You mentioned your DH wants to cut back on his hours later on but why would he if home is just a storage yard! You have to stop enabling parents through guilt and stand firm with your DH as your parents don’t give a shit about you and DH’s feelings or the inconvenience and neither do your siblings.

I feel sorry for your husband, why on earth are you putting him through this so as not to upset your parents? How is it fair on him? I would have lost my patience years ago in his place. You're not prioritising your husband's feelings here. How awful for him. Just tell your parents to take their crap. Cannot believe you are considering taking it all to the new place.

If they're storing all this stuff at yours for years, they clearly don't need it! You buy what you can afford to fit in your own property.

To add to the chorus, tell them no more. Rent is a bad idea - business and family don't mix well!

Another vote for just telling your parents that they need to collect all of their belongings by the time you move, as they won't be coming with you to your new property.

You don't need to come up with excuses, or even share your valid reasons why, they have pushed their luck for years, and their free storage has now come to an end.

You don't want their stuff there. Your DH doesn't want their stuff there. It's your and your DH's home, it's up to you guys who stores what on your property, it's perfectly fine to tell your parents you are no longer going to offer them storage, free or otherwise.

You may run the risk of upsetting the applecart with your parents for a bit, but if this issue continues, you run the risk of seriously upsetting your DH, and I know which I'd prefer. I'd much rather the CF's who had taken advantage of me and my DH for years were a bit pissed off with me, than upset my wonderful DH, who has been nothing but supportive and has tolerated my DP's CF'ery for many years!

Time for you and your DH to put your collective foot down @TheSummerof25!

I would be taking the opportunity to say there is no space as it’s a business so they need to make alternative arrangements

If the stuffs been with you years and they have not looked at it, or in the case of the Cara van ever moved it then they don’t need it

clean slate for you at your new place