As the trip is tomorrow, you have to decide if you go or do not go. If you go, make it clear to him that for all the times he expects you to wrangle the children alone, you expect him to take them for a similar amount of time. It doesn't matter what you do in that time - go out and explore alone, go out with others on the trip who don't golf, or lie in bed. If he wanted a golf holiday, he should have asked for a golf holiday and not tried to play you for a fool.
I tried talking to him about how I feel and he says i’m being selfish because I just want my husband and kids to myself. He says I should be grateful that he’s come up with this plan instead of leaving me for a week for a proper golf holiday.
You might benefit from an understanding of the term DARVO. DARVO is a manipulative tactic used by individuals to deflect blame and responsibility for their actions. It stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. In essence, the perpetrator denies wrongdoing, then attacks the accuser's credibility, and finally, attempts to portray themselves as the victim.
Here's a breakdown of the DARVO components:
Deny:
The individual denies the specific behavior or action that they are accused of.
Attack:
They then attack the accuser's character, credibility, or motives, attempting to discredit them.
Reverse Victim and Offender:
Finally, the perpetrator flips the narrative, portraying themselves as the victim and the original accuser as the perpetrator.
Why is DARVO harmful?
Emotional distress:
DARVO can be emotionally damaging to the victim, causing feelings of confusion, self-doubt, and isolation.
Difficulties moving on:
It can make it difficult for victims to heal and move on from the abuse, as they are constantly being challenged and blamed.
Erosion of trust:
DARVO can erode trust in institutions and relationships, as it demonstrates a disregard for truth and accountability.
Social impact:
DARVO can influence how others perceive the situation, potentially leading to victim-blaming and a lack of support for the victim.