This was rude right? No thank you

[Theteenandme]

I took my son and his friend (both 13) on a day trip. My treat so they paid nothing which was fine.

His friend seemed to have a nice time. He was polite and said thank you before he headed home from our house.

His friend doesnt have a phone at the moment so everything was organised through me and his dad.

While organising his dad never said thank you at all. I thought he'd send a "friend had a great time. Thank you" text when friend got home. But nope.

I wouldnt expect that if my son and friend had organised it themselves obviously but am I unreasonable to think that because it was his dad and me, his dad should gave sent a quick thank you text?

YANBU - he should have sent a quick thank you text because you'd had to organise it directly with him
YABU - the friend said thank you, that is enough

Plus - how much is fish and chips these days?! I dont think I hid my surprise very well when she handed me the card machine!

Very rude not to thank you...I'd have definitely sent a text

YANBU but loads will tell you that you are!

They’ll say you offered blah blah.

But a text thank you costs nothing and means a lot.

@Theteenandme the child thanked you, the Dad could have.

Re the fish and chips

I would have been more upset if the child hadn't said thank you actually.

It would have been nice if the Dad had but he probably knew his son was good mannered enough to do the thanks for himself.

How do you know he didn't ask his son, if he thanked you? The fact that his son did, suggests he has been brought up with manners. Also, you say it was your treat but now you're questioning the price of fish and chips - two separate issues and feel peeved for paying. It maybe that, which is making you feel more like you need a double thank you.

His son said thank you, that should be enough. How many thank yous do you need? Bizarre to me how much people get wound up about such small things.

The child said thank you, if they child is old enough then I think that is good enough. Obviously nice for the Dad too as well, but hardly a big deal.

The child said thank you, that’s enough IMO. The dad might have even checked that he said thank you and left it at that.

I’m not sure there’s a problem afterwards as the child said thank you. Dad may have checked with son that this was done and was ok. I’ve treated my 13 years olds friends to a trip to the cinema and the thank yous came from kids. I didn’t feel a separate thanks was needed from the parents (albeit I’m not in direct contact with them, the boys arranged it).

I am surprised that when you were offering to take the child out and it was clear you were covering costs that he didn’t offer to send the child with some money and thank you for doing it in advance.

Did he thank you in advance when the plans were made? Perhaps he didn't feel it was necessary to thank you again afterwards.

Plus the son is 13 and not a little child.

At 13, even when bigger outings were arranged between adults, thanks were expressed in advance at the planning stage. I wouldn't have expected a follow up thank you text and never received one. I dont think I ever sent one either. I always checked with my children that they'd said thank you though.

Taking this back to my childhood. If invited out for the day by a friend, one would thank them obviously. No contact between our parents was ever thought of nor expected. OP, let it go?

The important thing for me would be that the friend thanked you himself directly. I wouldn’t expect multiple thank yous.

It’s a tricky age. Primary school absolutely,secondary,less contact with parents so generally a thank you from the teenager is acceptable.
On a side note I took x4 ,16year olds to Spain post GCSEs years ago. Admittedly the girls paid airfares but still huge responsibility, organisation etc .
Not one of the parents contacted me before or after the trip with any thanks which I was surprised about. Just basic manners non existent l

People are saying that the dad is rude, but actually I think it is you with no manners.

The son thanked you as he should - starting a thread and being upset about a second thank you is poor.
Ultimately you took the child out because it suited you, it wasn't for some altruistic reason.

Thoughtless but not particularly surprising. Don't ask them again.

Eh? The fish and chip comment was an aside. I never said anything about being peeved. I was just surprised because we dont really eat it.

You make no sense.

I took them out because I thought they'd like it. Carting 2 teenage boys about on one of my few days off hardly "suits me".

Im not sure you know what altruistic means.

OK but when I treat somebody, I don't need to mention the price. It's just coincidental you put it in your post.

That is very rude no doubt.
They trust you with their kids but cant be bothered with a 2 second acknowledgement.

This is going to be one of those threads. Price of chips - literally, "carting two kids about" and now having done it on your day off. It was your choice to do it and the kid said thank you. YABU.

I didnt mention it to anyone. For all my son, his friend and the dad know it could have been free. I said I'd pay so to then say to them the day out cost me £x is just churlish so of course I wouldnt.

I absolutely would have yes, I do think it’s pretty rude of him.

This is ridiculous. The 13 year old said thank you but he doesn’t get invited out again because his dad didn’t also say thank you. Insane.

You've mentioned it here. Had you started a thread about the cost of fish and chips - fair enough. Anyway, you did a nice thing, so maybe friend's dad is planning on returning the favour.

I think that's the difference somehow.

If the boys had organised it and I just facilitated then I wouldnt expect anything from the dad. However I had to approach the dad and organise it with him so somehow that then means he has more involvement?