This was rude right? No thank you

[Theteenandme]

I took my son and his friend (both 13) on a day trip. My treat so they paid nothing which was fine.

His friend seemed to have a nice time. He was polite and said thank you before he headed home from our house.

His friend doesnt have a phone at the moment so everything was organised through me and his dad.

While organising his dad never said thank you at all. I thought he'd send a "friend had a great time. Thank you" text when friend got home. But nope.

I wouldnt expect that if my son and friend had organised it themselves obviously but am I unreasonable to think that because it was his dad and me, his dad should gave sent a quick thank you text?

YANBU - he should have sent a quick thank you text because you'd had to organise it directly with him
YABU - the friend said thank you, that is enough

Plus - how much is fish and chips these days?! I dont think I hid my surprise very well when she handed me the card machine!

child yes, teenagers and older do their own thanking.

The world of MN has literally gone mad.

Of course it is rude by any metric to be in contact with a parent who treats your child to a day out and you don’t say thank you. Jeez

I think they are old enough to have less parental involvement. The child thanked you that would be enough for me. If smaller children yes I would expect t a text from a parent.

Maybe your son’s friend’s dad is a dickhead? 🤷‍♂️

seems there’s a lot of them around, looking at MumsNet… 🙁

In my world we don't ration our thanks. Normal polite parent "Thanks for today. DS had a great time. What do I owe you for food etc?"

OP "Nothing. It was my pleasure. Glad he had a good time" 2 minutes, and the jobs a good 'un.

"

Of course he should have said it. Cheeky sod.

The child must have pick up good manners from his Mother.

Hopefully he'll return the favour, if he does, don't thank him.

If you prefer. In my world, I don't expect parents of teenagers to have that level of involvement. Would be quite unusual in our circles as well, as it's a relatively small community and many parents doing many things for many kids. My phone would be blowing up if there was a thanks every time I take another kid with us.

But communication in OPs situation had to be via the DF.

yes, and I would indeed find it peculiar if dad never responded during the discussion with 'yes, ok, thanks'. Hard to believe, actually.
But after the event, son said thank you, so I personally would not expect parents to reach out to thank me separately as well.

"Hard to believe" so from that we can assume it was rude?

I think most people in this situation would say 'yes thanks' without even thinking about it, so someone replying just 'ok' would be unusual.
But I don't think it is rude that a parent of a teenager does not reach out after the event to say thank you on top of what their child already did.

Lol. Keep digging.

I would have said thank you (and not just after you returned!). Partly because I would have been very grateful, but also because it greases the wheels, makes for a more friendly relationship and helps to set things up for the kids doing more things together.

But if the kid said thank you I don't think they've been rude. You were thanked for your time and effort. That's polite. And you got that. It doesn't have to be from the dad. But I would be less inclined to do anything that required input from the dad if the dad isn't interested in facilitating a friendly rather than civil relationship.

There's also the reciprocity aspect. You shouldn't invite people on a transactional basis but some form of reciprocity makes for better relationships. The lack of a thank you indicates the dad is less likely to be interested in that. There are other pay offs to inviting the kids your DC likes the most over those who will invite back, it's not a simple rule, but if you need your own kid to be invited somewhere from time to time, the dad's lack of thank you makes this less likely. That's more a matter of how social networks build than politeness, though.

It's happened. You are peeved. You can't do anything about it so just move on.

Ok, well you've had your answer. You got a thank you from the boy, and that was plenty. Give without expectation - of anything at all, including a thank you, give only because you want to give, and you will have a much richer, more fulfilling life. And then, when you do get a thank you - as you did - it will fill up your cup.

I thought that was the whole point of these joke threads? 🤷‍♀️

Oh yes, so "intelligent" and "well-informed" that you think "keep your wig on" is a witty remark, and reading all of OP's posts before commenting was beyond you. 🙄

Completely agree with this! If they thanked on organising and the child thanked at the time I don’t think my husband would think to do it again after the event. I might be he wouldn’t. Just the practical way his brain works.