To find it weird that smacking kids is still normal?

[autienotnaughty]

Obviously it doesn’t happen as much as it use to and it’s thankfully mostly frowned upon but there’s stil the “a smack never hurt me” people around. If you just stop and think, grown adults hitting children half their size and hurting them. Really it’s abhorrent. Whilst I understand there’s always evil people who want to hurt children, smacking was normal and done by people who are not considered a risk to children

Yeah, me too. I just want to forgive and forget, but it’s stayed with me for 45 years and I just can’t seem to block it out of my mind.

There are still plenty of people who still smack their children, just a little tap or smacked bottom, I've had people tell me to smack my ND child when they've been having a meltdown. It's just done in private these days.

I abhor violence and I am not generally a judgey mum but I definitely do judge people who smack children. It did me immeasurable harm as a child and I only remember being smacked once but it was done out of anger and frustration, i was diagnosed ND as an adult and looking back, I was an annoyance to my parents who got frustrated with me. It's caused years of anxiety and stress thinking why I'm not good enough.

It’s illegal in Scotland so I’d probably get arrested. Not that I’ve ever hit them. Older generation still think they should be smacked.

have you ever been on an American forum? I’m in a twin group that has American parents and Jeezo. Some of these kids get beat. And all the comments agree with it. It’s awful.

I remember accidentally blocking the tv when I was around 5, my dad hit me me hard across the back of the legs from behind. I didn’t see it coming, it knocked me off my feet and I hit the floor hard. I didn’t dare cry, I just crawled out the room and went upstairs. No one came to check on me. My legs felt like they were on fire and my whole body hurt. I was hit on many occasions but that one really stood out.

Dh dad used to hit him with a belt and make him sleep on the floor in the 80’s, I don’t think that was the normality though.
I was born in the 90’s and definitely had a few smacks growing up, it definitely didn’t do me any long term harm but saying that I’d never smack my son

Ok normal as in when it’s discussed it’s not really seen as shocking it’s something that happened in a different time and now it sometimes happens but not as much. And there should be stronger laws to prevent smacking. I’m ambivalent about law re iambic pentameter

It's shocking that it's still legal to hit a child, whereas adults are protected.

You spoke in favour of a ‘smack’, smacking is a euphemistic term for hitting. I just wonder if you’d have the guts to express your view as ‘I believe in hitting children’ which is what you’re basically saying.

The word smack is not a euphemism. It's a physical act, could also be known as hitting. You're really not making any kind of a point here.

Not only seen as normal, but legal. Parents assaulting children are protected under the law. It's barbaric.

Only in England, it’s illegal in the rest of the UK.

When I was about 18 I witnessed a teenage girl physically batter a screaming toddler. I don't know if the kid was hers or if she was babysitting but she was screaming abuse and raining heavy blows upon this tiny child.

I just froze and when nobody else intervened, I eventually walked on but I've never forgotten the horror of it. I'd intervene in a flash now.

In the seventies, kids I was at school with used to refer to their dads 'leathering' them. I doubt they were actually hit with a belt but that's what that phrase means.

Yes, and that proviso is problematic in itself. My dad once broke my finger by grabbing my hand too forcefully trying to hold me still so he could smack me. The smacking was intentional, the finger breaking wasn't, he was 'only' trying to hold me still so he could smack me, but my finger still got broken. The only answer is zero tolerance of hitting children. I don't have kids but there's no way I'd have laid a finger on them if I'd had them.

I'm a person who was previously smacked (and more) and I do not think it's normal. I cannot understand anyone who thinks it's ok to hit a child. All it does is teach them that you are not a safe person.

Some of the responses on here are so sad 😢

I don’t think it’s considered normal these days - as pps have said it’s illegal is Scotland and Wales. I don’t know anyone who smacks their kids and have never even felt tempted to do it myself.

Hopefully it will be illegal in England too.

I do remember my Mum “smacking” us in the way that was considered acceptable at the time, and it was definitely a case of loss of temper. No benefit to the child or their behaviour at all. Just adults feeling they could take their temper out on kids, which surely is a terrible example as well as anything else.

It should actually be an aggregating feature that the victim was a child, especially one in your care, rather than a defence - meaning it should result in a more serious sentence than hitting an adult. The same was as domestic violence between adults.

I disagree. It’s a minimising word to make the assault sound less serious.

Edit - I realise I’ve used it in my first post, so added “”. I was using it to mean an open handed hit to the body, which I think is its general meaning, but we should really say hitting.

It is rightly considered assault if you do this to an adult, it's obviously more of an abuse and imbalance of power to do so to a child.
I was smacked, amongst other forms of abuse and it is totally needless.
'You're going to feel the back of my hand if you carry on like that!' and following through with it.
The threat of it was fear inducing enough for me.

Me too, though not often, the last time was maybe a couple of years ago.

Im in my 60’s. We were all smacked. It was horrible and not one of the five of us grew up to ever smack. If my now GC were smacked I’d go mad. It’s not been considered normal for at least 40 years

I remember being slapped around the face in public at 9 years old. To this day I remember exactly where it was and every time I walk past this place I feel sad for the 9 year old me.

I just remember feeling embarrassed. I think quite often parents back then took life’s frustrations out on their children.

Back in the day, a ‘smack’ used to mean a hit with an open hand. Whereas ‘hit’ used to mean a punch, with a fist. A ‘smack’ was legal (and still is, sadly) whereas a ‘hit’ as in a punch was always a criminal act. So it wasn’t just a euphemism.

That isn’t to say it isn’t used euphemistically today, obviously.

I was literally told by my parents that 'smacking' wasn't hitting, that all parents 'smacked' their children, that it was part of loving your child and teaching them right from wrong, and that I must never say to anyone that I'd been 'hit' because people would get the wrong idea. (Ironically, they were so invested in the notion that all parents smack and it's fine that I don't think they'd have minded me telling anyone I'd been smacked!)

There's obviously some subjectivity around this, but I 100% believe having a separate word for hitting children trivialises the act.

I think we'd still be shocked if a wife said her husband had smacked her, though. Maybe we should use slap? As in, she slapped him when she saw him kissing her best friend, he slapped his girlfriend in the pub, the woman slapped her 5 year old on the legs.
Then it's clear it's not a punch but it's the equivalent word for adult and child victims.

I know exactly what you mean, OP. I think it stems solely from the fact it’s not illegal in parts of the UK so parents CAN smack without legal sanction. To some people, the bar is that low.

In my view, hitting your child should feel inherently wrong to anyone who is not seriously emotionally damaged themselves. But, even if it doesn’t, I can’t understand the arrogance of ignoring papers published by experts explicitly stating the harm caused. Parents in the ‘80’s didn’t have access to these studies - but we do now.

And still some parents are ignoring this expert research outlying how smacking negatively impacts a child’s emotional development and self esteem. All for the “privilege” of getting to hit someone small.