To find it weird that smacking kids is still normal?

[autienotnaughty]

Obviously it doesn’t happen as much as it use to and it’s thankfully mostly frowned upon but there’s stil the “a smack never hurt me” people around. If you just stop and think, grown adults hitting children half their size and hurting them. Really it’s abhorrent. Whilst I understand there’s always evil people who want to hurt children, smacking was normal and done by people who are not considered a risk to children

Fear isn't parenting.

I don't want my children to be scared of me, I try to raise them to be respectful to everyone, I display the behaviours I want them to emulate.
I would consider myself a failure of a parent if my children fears me, who wants that? Any relationship like that is not authentically of love.

I’m firm with mine. There are rules and boundaries in place. I’m not afraid to raise my voice if necessary, but If I ever, ever raised a hand to him I’d think I’d lost the plot. Physical abuse isn’t parenting.

So you hit your kids?

It is normal if you're 142.
My dad, who never smacked my brother and me, walking into my granny's living room to find my 3-year old brother crying: 'Why's he crying?'
My granny, born 1883: 'Because I smacked him.'
My dad: 'What's he done?'
My granny: 'Nothing, but it's good for him.'

In 2025, highly abnormal. We shouldn't even be talking about it anymore.

Why are you being so mealy-mouthed, then? If you’re so sure the way to make children behave is to hit them, why aren’t you just coming out and saying ‘I believe children should be hit to make them behave better’? I mean, at least have the courage of your convictions instead of being vague about it.

Yes, I agree. When I was in any kind of a problematic situation or scared of something, I wouldn’t go to my mother because I knew from experience that she would hit me rather than support me.

There was nothing vague about my post. I don't know what you're going on about.

I’ve seen cultural differences first hand as well and there are some cultures that I also think are abhorrent eg honour killings.

Most children in day to day life don’t behave how the ones who stand out on Mumsnet do either.

I guess because when you hear of an adult smacking a child it’s considered less shocking than an adult smacking an adult when actually it’s worse.
There’s regularly posts on here about lack of discipline and smacking is always offered up as a solution.

Agree completely

My DH is Singaporean and still bears a scar on his wrist where he was caned as a 7 year old child by a teacher (also a Catholic brother) at his school

Same here.

I live in Scotland where thankfully smacking is illegal. There are so many ways to parent your children and install good behaviour without smacking. Hitting an adult is not seen as acceptable and I can't see any argument why hitting a child can be seen as acceptable.

I was never smacked growing up, it was something my parents never agreed with. Me and my siblings have grown up well mannered, respectable and we'll behaved.

If you saw a dad smacking a child and reported it to ss at best it would get a visit and unless anything else was identified the case would be closed. More likely a p/call or nothing g at all. (Assuming no previous history)
if you rang woman’s aid and said the same man had hit you you would be supported in leaving the abusive man.
And I wouldn’t say violence against women is taking seriously enough but it’s certainly regarded higher than violence to children.

It’s illegal in my part of the UK so pretty shocking and certainly not disregarded.

I don’t think it’s normal - far from it.

Maybe in low socio-economic areas, it might still be a thing to hit your child.

I hope it’s illegal soon.

We don't smack but by gosh our two dc absolutely kill each other. kicking, slapping, fighting all the time. It doesn't seem to do them much harm though 😅

Yes, I distinctly remember the shame after being smacked when I was older than this. I imagine about nine. I wish I didn’t remember tbh as I do think less of my relative - but the reason is not so much for doing it but because of how it made me feel and how it’s stayed with me.

Only time imo its ever ok to smack a child, is if you need to react quickly and smack their hand away from danger (had a small one recently try and put her fingers in plug socket)

Never ever should it be a punishment or something you do becuase youre angry

If I went to social services and said someone was singing Happy Birthday with their child on the hour every hour between 8am and 6pm every Sunday then they wouldn't intervene on that either. That doesn't mean it's normal. Social services can't, don't and won't intervene on a whole host of things. That's not the definition of "normal".

There’s limited protection within law in England for children being smacked

I think it's weird that some people think screen time for their young children is normal, it probably does more damage than smacking ever could. I think we'll look back and judge that even more harshly

There's limited protection within law in England for children being asked to only speak in iambic pentameter too - is that normal?

You seem to be conflating "legal" with "normal". They aren't the same thing. Things can be legal and not at all normal.

Why do you think smacking is normal? Normal means "standard; usual, typical, or expected".

I work in a school and it’s way more prevalent than I’d have imagined. And my boyfriend works for children’s services so sadly we see how common it actually still is now. I think a lot of people think it isn’t happening any more just because it’s probably not information these smacking parents would volunteer regularly to their friends.