Gave cpr. Not heard anything from the victim. Is it ok to feel a little sad?

[Rizzlekicks123]

Never posted before but was hoping for either some moral support.

I gave cpr recently to a neighbour (who I don't know but who mutual friends do). I am not a medic and havent had formal training. Just online reading. The woman lived and is going to be ok (thank goodness). The thing that is upsetting me is that she hasn't reached out despite knowing how to find me. She owes me nothing and I'd do the same again if I was faced with it, but I feel so sad that the trauma I experienced has not been acknowledged. I dont want anything other than a "are you ok" It was so stressful. Aibu?

how recently? I’m guessing she’s embarrassed

or has she been told about it?

well done though. I gave CPR to my mil many years ago, and I’ve had many incidents since. It stays with you

Does she even know it was you who did it?

A greatvthing you did...You said it was very recent
Maybe she too is traumatised?

If she is neighbour you could knock on door I am sure she will thank you then?

Don't forget that she needed CPR and it will have been traumatic for her too. She's still recovering.

If it was recent, she may not be well enough yet.

She may also be recovering from the trauma herself.

She may not know who gave cpr.

To be fair, probably not as much trauma as she experienced. Obviously, it was amazing that you were able to do what you did and I'm sure she's incredibly grateful, but give her chance to come to terms with her own experience.

You intervened and helped and I can understand being under that pressure and it being traumatic for you.
Equally it must have been traumatic for the woman having a near death experience.
Well done on having the gumption and stepping in.👍

YABU, you are owed nothing by the person you did CPR on.

She nearly died.

Are other people checking in on you? Because the last person to be checking in on you should be the person you helped.

I think your feelings are understandable but people often experience PTSD or at least some level of trauma after nearly dying. It might be that talking to you about it is too soon, too much or too traumatic so you may need to process your feelings in other ways.

Giving cpr is highly stressful and sometimes tramatic.

Being alive is not the only thing that matters. Have you personally visited her? She might be too traumatised herself or physically weak to see you.

Speak to a professional, is my advice.

This

I'm sure that was traumatic for you too but I think you need to think of this with a "circles of support" model. She nearly died. She leant on you. You need to look to others to support you processing this one, it's not her job.

It's a bit like if someone is bereaved, it is not really their job to send thank you letters to people who go to the funeral. Support leans in, it doesn't go both ways at moments of crisis.

If it was traumatic for you, can you imagine the trauma for her?

I saved someone's life once though my work as I'm a first aider.

He thanked me 3 weeks later and was still traumatised, as was his wife.

How long ago was it? Some people don’t like to think about it, or realise they could never repay you and feel a bit embarrassed. Some don’t tend to realise they’d have been dead without your help. At I think around 17 years old I saved an entire family, including their cat and her kittens, after their drunk teenage son came home from a night out and left a chip pan on which set their house on fire. My thanks was a cheap miniature bottle of whisky? Some people are also just arseholes

She might not even remember (trauma can blank out memories of the event in question)

I think you can feel a bit sad and then brighten yourself up with the knowledge that you saved her and how remarkable and admirable you are, because you are.

And it IS traumatic, I felt extremely odd and discombobulated for weeks after a not really similar event (yanking someone away from danger). Have a hug.

No need to be this much of a knob, is there?

This^

You're absolutely right in that being in a position where you need to perform CPR on another person is very traumatic and will of course have an impact on you. It's normal to feel upset and fragile afterwards. But I think you're looking in the wrong place for a bit of connection and support.

She's the only person in this scenario who's been through something just as if not 'more' traumatic (not that there's a clear hierarchy because people process trauma differently which can actually matter more than the trauma itself) than you so she may not be in a position to reach out to you or to thank you let alone check in with you. I would imagine that right now you may be quite low on her list of priorities given that she almost died.

You did something selfless and with no expectation of anything in return so I think expecting this of her now is a bit unfair even if it is very human.

I think you need to reach out to other people who care about you, to practice a bit of extra self care for the next wee bit and if you feel like it's impacting on your sleep/ mental wellness then you speak to your gp or seek counselling. You did go through something big, but the person were helping isn't the person to check in on you now in the aftermath.

I see the OP's pov, I think you could use the idea that Jesus Christ saved loads of people and hardly any of them thanked him, okay it's a bit messianic to take that attitude but...
Probably best to take an 'onwards and upwards' attitude.

I'm not really sure its fair for you to feel someone who nearly died ought to be thinking how their near death affected you and check in to see if you're OK.

Perhaps find someone to talk through it with if youre struggling with it.

Thank you for your contribution.

CPR is brutal. She might be still recovering physically and mentally.

Don't expect thanks. You were there, she was successfully resuscitated, the end.

Exactly this. Lean on someone else further out on the ring of support. She’s got a lot to deal with.

Have you checked in on her?

Granted it’s harsh but ultimately it’s correct

There is a group called “chain of survival” who you might find supportive, you can track them down on Facebook.