Post wedding drama

[freklefacexo]

Ok. So last Saturday was my wedding. After the reception the organizer cleared the venue and gave ALL flowers to my in-laws to take home for us. Bridal bouquet , 5 bridemaids , flower girl and table decor. Plus 2 bags of left over decor. The next morning I went to collect everything from their house and my MIL only gave me 2 bags of decor and no flowers. I asked her is this all you have , I wonder where all my flowers have gone. She said I don’t know I only have these 2 bags of decorations. Fast forward 5 days to Thursday and I go to her house to pick up FILs suit. And sure enough there are all my flowers laid out in 7 or eight different vases. By this time they were all dying. She claims she forgot she had them. So she forgot by enjoying them for 5 full days before handing me my dead bridal bouquet? I really wanted to do something special with the bouquet and I can’t help be so angry at her for keeping all my flowers and not saying a word to me. Whilst I’m thinking they have been lost. AIBU for being upset ? I don’t plan on having a massive argument it I’d really like to bring it up and let her know she’s hurt me.

She’s being a bitch your definitely not bu she be never forgot she stole them. From now on if your involved in her gifts get her the cheapest flowers from supermarket as she like flowers so much she stole yours. Nasty mil.

she's being a cunt. Tell her that you will have a replica bouquet, exactly as you had it on the day (and any others you would have wanted) for you to enjoy.

Remind her that mothers of sons lose out as grannies so often because of bad MIL/DIL relationships and it would be SUCH A SHAME if it happened to her.

And yes it is aggressive. I would be agressive to someone who lied to me like that.

I would be really upset.

My mil dried my bouquet for me and bless her kept it for a good 2 years in peefect condition for me while we moved about for work

YANBU for being upset
What did you say at the time?!

She will know damn well she’s a twat for doing this and she owes you one
What has your husband said?

I understand a bit how you feel - my bouquet was stolen by a member of hotel staff and I had promised it to my lovely MIL to put on her parents’ grave

😢💐

This is such unreasonable behaviour, I’d be absolutely livid. Honestly, the audacity!
I think bit you and your husband need to say something.

Wtf is the matter with people. I would totally kick off over this. LOUDLY let it be known that she stole from you!

You and your DH need to say something to her about this, what was she planning on gaining? Mad.

What the hell is the matter with some people?! That's an outrageous thing to do. What did you say to her when you found out OP?

(My DM gave out all the 10 table decorations to various female relatives during the evening reception of my wedding, without even asking me if I'd like to keep one, or give them away to others i.e. friends/bridesmaids. Pissed me right off)

Shes a lying cow.
Id be so hurt and incandescent with rage.
Gosh, your wedding bouquet is SO special.

Start as you mean to go on with her.
Keep it superficial from now on.
Keep your antennae up.

Ask your DH to enquire why she lied. Does she have the start of Alzheimer’s? Forgetful to the extreme?

That really is something else. You can’t really ignore and forget about it either.

I think you have to say something. But there again what’s the point. I really don’t know of anyone who would behave like this.

I'd ask her to buy you a replica. In fact I'd insist. What a cow.

It's the lying I'd never forgive.

I'd let your DH deal with it. He needs to step up here.

Totally not cool of her however I had my flowers preserved after my wedding and I had discussed in great detail what the plan was for them the night of the wedding.

I had asked a trusted member of my family to take them home and get them in water ready for me to send off the next day.

If you were that fussed about having something done with them you should have had a set plan.

That's her on the grey rock list.

What an awful lying thief!

Blimey! That’s horrible! And done deliberately too.

How could she possibly “forget” a house full of flowers that weren’t actually hers??
I was given about 4 bouquets for my 50th birthday - and I certainly didn’t “forget” seeing them from morning to night!

I think you’ll have your hands full with this woman if you don’t make your boundaries very very clear from the start. What on earth was she trying to achieve? Bizarre and unpleasant thing to do.

Beautifully put🙌

Yep that’s the point. The plan was they were to take them home. The organizer carried out her part of the plan. 9am the next morning I went to get them and She said she didn’t have them. I contacted the organizer who insisted she gave her them. There was nothing else I could do except accept they were lost. Until I found out she actually had them all along and “forgot to tell me that infact she did have them. Day after wedding she might genuinely have forgot about them due to all the other stuff going on. But there’s no way she forgot for 5 whole days with them sitting on display in her living room. I don’t know why she did this. Even now after knowing I’m upset she’s maintained it was a mistake . I guess I’ll never really know what possessed her to hurt me like that. I thought things were ok between. Maybe a rush of emotion that her son is married ? Who knows ? All I know is that it was a low blow

Hard disagree OP. You absolutely need a huge argument or you set the tone for the future. Smack that bitch down like the hand of God, this was no mistake or accident

Be sure to mention her AGE related dementia as often as you can. Mention it to others … how worried you are that her poor self care is showing, on her face … and memory issues and odd behavior.

It's about to be my 25th wedding anniversary and whilst I barely remember anything these days, I do remember the things I was annoyed at that my in-laws did (stropping basically) on my wedding day.

I'd agree with the make a fuss or you'll always wonder if it was a dick power play move or a lapse in judgement.

Absolutely say something. Lots of brides do thinks with their bouquets. I was a bridesmaid 35 years ago and the bride had her bouquet dried and framed. Your MIL was out or order bare faced lying. I would suggest she orders a replacement bouquet for you to do what you were planning to do.

Thats extremely bad behaviour on her part. Why on earth would she want to wreck her relationship with her new DIL from the off?

I’m afraid that I’d be extremely hesitant to trust her with anything important ever again.

What has your husband said?

She stole your wedding flowers and lied to your face.

Now you know she's a lying thief.

Yeah, I wouldn't let that slide.

Look on the bright side, only a week in and you've already seen her true colours and can plan accordingly in the future. I would be making 0 effort with the thieving cow from now on.

My husband is fantastic , he phoned and said why would you do that ? She just kept saying it was a mistake. He told her to give me space. He asked me if I wanted him to go and buy me the exact same bouquet so have framed ect. I really can’t fault him. He knows what his parents are like and I always feel his support. She’s done similar things in the past and thanks to his supprt I’ve always been able to ignore but this was really hurtful and I can’t get over this so quickly