Not invited to DSis big birthday

[50FreezeOut1]

My DSis turned 50 yesterday and I've found out today she had a birthday meal out with her friends, my siblings and our parents.

AIBU to be upset at not being invited?

Photos look to be about 10 friends plus DB (no partner at the moment) and DSis+DBIL. Plus DB's son and DSis daughter and son. Plus DM and DF. Plus DSis50 and DBIL and their DDs.

This came as a complete surprise. We caught up at May half term and hung out for a weekend, DSis50, her family and mine. A month or so ago I messaged my siblings to arrange a joint 50th gift which cost me a considerable amount of time and effort. No one mentioned it to me at all.

The reason I'm posting is because I'd like some advice about what I do next. The photos aren't attempting to hide the meal out. Of course I would see them. I'm seeing my DM on Monday to spend the first day of the school holidays together. Do I say something? What do I say to my siblings in our WhatsApp group? Anything? Nothing?

That must be very hurtful. Is their history of this or any issues? Are you socialibe? Good company out and about?

if I were you, I’d wait for your mum to raise it

Sorry not sure what I would say but that sounds really hurtful.

I would ask your parents why you weren’t invited.

It's on all of them tbh. Your mother included.

I would be cancelling seeing her Monday and telling her that you'll be processing being excluded by all of them for a bit.

I wouldn't drag your mum into it as this was your sister's decision.

I'd probably just get on the WhatsApp group and say something like, "Looks like a great evening, I would've loved an invitation".

I agree with @gamerchick. Take a step back from them. This is a horrible way to have treated you.

That’s very strange. Do you live a long way away from them?
could they all possibly have thought someone else had already invited you?
Do you generally get on?

I'd start by asking your parents what was going on. It sounds very hurtful at face value though.

I'm the opposite, I wouldn't respond. Instead look for the expression on your mother's face. It's time to go solo i'm afraid, some families/siblings are poisonous and yours is one of them. Forge your own path, flourish then they'll be sorry.

I'd be busy on Monday. Fuck that.

I agree about postponing seeing your mum on Monday. Surely she knew ???

I wouldn't contact the mother. The OP and her sister are adults, mummy doesn't need to be dragged in to things.
Unless there is an obvious reason why you weren't invited like living 4 hours away where as they all live in the same town then I would phone my sister and ask why my family and I weren't invited to what looks like a big party with everyone except me.I would phone rather than email.

Of course she knew. By meeting her on Monday you will be able to test the water. Show no weakness OP.

Just ask your mum “do you know why I wasn’t invited?”

A month or so ago I messaged my siblings to arrange a joint 50th gift which cost me a considerable amount of time and effort.
When are you seeing your (D)Sis to give her this present you have organised from all of you? Surely that is going to an awkward situation.
This sounds a horrible thing for you to experience, I couldn't let it pass without getting to the bottom of things. I'm sorry.

I’d be right away in the group chat asking why I wasn’t invited! How sad. There must be a reason for no one to invite you?!

You should call it out on your family whatsapp group.

Fuck trying to save anyone's feelings, id be posting the screenshot of the pics on the family group chat and saying lovely to see this on social media hope you all had a lovely family celebration and you had a lovely 50th dsis and are enjoying the joint gift I spend arranging. Get fucked the lot of you. Then I likely wouldn't speak to them again as I find it likely too easy cutting off people who have wronged or upset me. The absolute betrayal from them all.

What is the back story here OP? This is not normal.

They would deny all knowledge of the arrangements made

Why do so many people want to drag the mum into it?

It wasn't her birthday.

If the OP is to take it up with anyone, it should be her sister.

They're both adults, not two little girls who needs their mum to sort out their squabbles.

That is so sneaky and hurtful of them to do this. I would cancel the meeting with your mother and not bother with any of them for the time being. They are all to blame. It's nasty.

Is this the first time theyve excluded you from a similar event? I would be totally shocked if this is out of the blue, do you have any idea why they may have done this?

@50FreezeOut1 what did you decide to do?

So they all gave her the expensive birthday present you participated on and you weren't even invited? Something is amiss here. I would call your sister and ask straight out

1. If you have done something to upset her since you were the only one excluded and
2. Whether she liked her birthday present from you.