Was I being unreasonable posting about this on FB?

[fortygin]

long story short, I have finally, after 8 years of separation, bought my ex out of my family home. I have been paying all bills/mortgage myself since then so the split of equity was 70/30 to me.
I posted a ‘proud of myself’ post, just stating I’d bought an ex out and would now see this day as a celebration rather than the worst day of my life (I found out about his affair 8 years to the day the mortgage completed).
Well he is livid, someone sent him a copy of the post and Ive been sent a message calling me a fucking juvenile dickhead and to ‘sort it or he will’
I get that it was maybe silly posting on fb and I have never posted anything personal but was just so delighted with myself being in a position to secure this home on my own.
He has threatened legal action as in divorce matrimonial agreement in June I said I had no plans to co habit but did give him a heads up last week that my partner of 7.5 years would possibly be moving in in November. (After looong discussions with my dc who live here 21,19,17 and 14).
wibu?! I’m not in a great place right now.
fb has been deactivated btw

What does he mean by "he will sort it"?

I think you can post whatever you want on Facebook regarding your house.

Fuck him

Not unreasonable but perhaps unwise. Just don't respond to the messages and take the post down.

I don't do Facebook beyond the groups I'm in so I don't really understood these public displays. Did you want some validation or support from posting? You know what you've achieved. And your real friends do. Chat to people in real life and feel good about yourself without the drama is my advice.

Well done to you. Hope it works out with your partner. My own feeling after a horrible divorce is that is never have another man invested in my property but I wish you well!

I mean, I guess it depends how it was worded and what not as to whether you were being unreasonable. And if you knew it would get back to him.

If you now own the house and he had nothing to do with it I wouldn't have thought that he would have any right to say who lives there. You had no plans in June, those plans may change by November 🤷‍♀️ I would let him waste his money on that one

You were not bring unreasonable at all and i hope you saved a screen shot of the threat he sent you. "Sort it or he will"... what does that mean???

It's 8yrs since you broke up. He doesnt get to speak to you like that. Tell him to F'off. I'd also reactivate your Facebook and publicly out the person who sent him your post. And share his message too so people can see what he's really like.

I don't think it would be very nice for your children to read.

Not unreasonable at all - as long as it was viewable only by your fb friends and not public.
He is being unreasonable though.
And the traitor, so called "friend" who shared it with him.

Congratulations on sorting the house!!

You achieved something, why shouldn’t you share? I imagine it’s been a long road since he blew up his family with an affair.

That person who sent him the post is an arsehole, don’t let this ruin your joy.

And I’m not even a FB poster.

My children are adults and teenagers and are well aware of the situation. My two dd said me buying him out gave them hope for the future that they could do the same without relying on anyone. I understand that I was obviously seeking validation after being in a 25 year relationship where the last six were me being gaslit and emotionally abused.

Well done for achieving that OP 🍾 🥂

Personally I wouldn’t put it on FB, I would have just told family and friends- who wouldn’t have informed your ex.

He’s a prick. Just ignore him I’d tell him to fuck off

And the he ‘sort it or he will’ was discussed with the police.

Why not?
All she posted was she had bought the house .and she was happy.
It was probably unwise but I don't understand why it would upset her children.
The ex sounds controlling. I can see that he wouldn't want to see the post but threatening to do something was completely wrong there is nothing he could do.
And I don't see how he can do anything about her wanting you move her partner into her own house.
7 years ago she had no intention to live with another partner. Things change. And he can't control her life

It was a stupid thing to post. Do you think anyone apart from your immediate family really cares that you've bought him out?

Your ex’s response is ridiculous, but I don’t think that was a nice thing to post. If you have people on your friends list who know your ex and see he is struggling after the divorce, it doesn’t make you come across well to them. He is implicated in your post so I can understand why he doesn’t like it. He’s probably acting like a twat because that’s people often do when they lose a lot in life.

I'd say the thing to sort is working out who sent him the screenshot and removing them from FB.

He's got no right to dictate what you post. And sorting yourself post separation is an achievement so well done! And don't let his threats taint it.

I'd be keeping his messages and once your divorce is all sorted I'd be telling him that any future threats (and threatening to "sort it" absolutely is threatening!) will be reported and you'll go down legal routes with him.

Just don't respond to the messages
Agree

and take the post down.
Disagree
Her Facebook, her post. None of his beeswax.

Well done for that. No chance you should be expected to tolerate him threatening you

@IMissSparklingthanks for your honesty. Of course you’re right. Very many people who have seen me at my very lowest and on my knees congratulated me but of course only in the way I would say well done to them for an achievement

Tell him to go fuck himself. His years of pissing over anything good in your life are over, and he can take his bitterness and fury and shove them up his arse because you have moved on, and maybe he needs to.

@Shnuzzbucket it isn't his business but it's causing drama. Facebook drama is all unnecessary. I would take it down and get on with my life. OP is not unreasonable to leave it up but I just wouldn't want the hassle.

It's poking a bear.

I find this sort of post about social media odd. I mean there are degrees of caring. If I wasn't mildly interested in people's news I would unfollow them on Facebook rather than blame them for posting it, assuming they don't bombard stuff.

@CopperWhite he is not struggling. His parents have bought him a house and he is still with the lady who he was having an affair with!

Well done for doing this - and for buying the wanker out! Treat it as a lesson in being more careful about what you post in future, ignore the idiot and enjoy your freedom 🥂

Oh and don’t get into a slinging match on social media as someone has suggested - I can’t think of anything less dignified.

I’d be interested if a friend had been in this situation. But then I have friends…

You wouldn't care about a friend in this scenario? How sad for you.