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Original poster

Was I being unreasonable posting about this on FB?

207 replies

fortygin · 19/07/2025 09:45

long story short, I have finally, after 8 years of separation, bought my ex out of my family home. I have been paying all bills/mortgage myself since then so the split of equity was 70/30 to me.
I posted a ‘proud of myself’ post, just stating I’d bought an ex out and would now see this day as a celebration rather than the worst day of my life (I found out about his affair 8 years to the day the mortgage completed).
Well he is livid, someone sent him a copy of the post and Ive been sent a message calling me a fucking juvenile dickhead and to ‘sort it or he will’
I get that it was maybe silly posting on fb and I have never posted anything personal but was just so delighted with myself being in a position to secure this home on my own.
He has threatened legal action as in divorce matrimonial agreement in June I said I had no plans to co habit but did give him a heads up last week that my partner of 7.5 years would possibly be moving in in November. (After looong discussions with my dc who live here 21,19,17 and 14).
wibu?! I’m not in a great place right now.
fb has been deactivated btw

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 19/07/2025 10:35

Meh. So he's pissed off you aren't weeping and wailing and wishing he'd come back to you and he's only got 30% of the value because he tried to fuck you over financially and failed. Big deal.

You aren't beholden to him anymore, so you can post whatever you want that's legal (and 'I'm happy I own my home' is perfectly legal).

This is worth nothing more than rolling your eyes and getting on with your lovely life without him ruining it.

Dangermoo · 19/07/2025 10:36

You've done absolutely nothing wrong. He's a bully, whose ego has taken a bashing. Tough. Well done in getting where you are xx 👏

Foodylicious · 19/07/2025 10:38

I dont think you should have to take it down, but I also dont think you needed to post it.
I appreciate different people use FB for all sorts of things, but its pretty personal, and if you have shared friends or family with him on fb its not going to sit well with someone.

It's up to you if you feel compelled to take it down or just think 'fuck it'.

I'd bin the 'friend' that shared this with him.

Also, you dont need the extra validation and 'well dones' from fb likes and comments.

You should feel proud enough of yourself, and if you want to share with others, message a friend or phone one maybe for a good conversation.

FrostiesAreCornflakesForPeopleWhoCantFaceReality · 19/07/2025 10:38

Not unreasonable at all. Or juvenile or a dickhead move. He is though, for getting so angry about it and threatening you, who the fuck does he think he is? If and when you do reactivate your FB have a look through your friend list and delete and block people who are still friends with him. The person sending him the screenshot is a shit house who deliberately stirred up drama and is no friend to you.

Theunamedcat · 19/07/2025 10:39

Oop sounds like someone is bitter your not letting the grass grow under your feet and moving forwards

It's been 8 years does he really think things will never change? He probably feels all superior that he has a house a girl and his own happiness he resents you having yours

How sad of him

thelakeisle · 19/07/2025 10:39

I would very definitely re open Facebook and leave the post up and not respond to this abusive shitwit in any way. But that's just me.

SpryCat · 19/07/2025 10:40

Ignore the twat, if he’s talked to the police, I bet they laughed at him!
You don’t have to put up with his tantrums anymore, block him.

Pizzagirly · 19/07/2025 10:40

I don't do FB but I would be thrilled for a friend in this situation.

I love celebrating life's wins with my friends, so yes I would be delighted to hear this from a friend.

thelakeisle · 19/07/2025 10:41

thelakeisle · 19/07/2025 10:39

I would very definitely re open Facebook and leave the post up and not respond to this abusive shitwit in any way. But that's just me.

Oh and definitely remove and block anybody who is still friends with the ex shitwit on FB.

Conkersinautumn · 19/07/2025 10:42

It is proof that living your best life is the best revenge - particularly when it's someone so self-absorbed that they are apparently hugely invested in your life when it really isn't theirs anymore.

saraclara · 19/07/2025 10:42

I'd want to share that, too. But I'd edit who could see the post fairly mercilessly, keeping it just to very good friends and my own supportive relatives, and block it from being seen by anyone who is still in contact with him.

The Facebook facility to choose who can see one's individual posts, isn't used enough, imo. I suspect that many people don't know it exists.

But well done on your achievement @fortygin . This episode aside, it must feel amazing!

MysteriousUsername · 19/07/2025 10:42

Who sent him a copy? Some friends they are. He is also a massive knob.

I posted on Facebook when I was divorced from my ex. I set it so that none of his family who I was still friends with could see.
Mainly I posted because I'd never even mentioned on there that we'd split up, but had posted about my new bf (who I started dating 2.5 years after we separated) so that people didn't think there was an overlap.

Moveoverdarlin · 19/07/2025 10:43

It’s just a tacky thing to post. It’s airing your dirty laundry in my opinion. Share the news with your parents or best friend but don’t put things like this on social media. No one needs to give details about their financial status or home ownership details on Facebook for gods sake. We paid off our mortgage recently, it was an absolutely momentous day in our own little world, we are so proud of ourselves. But no way in the world would I want Jenny Baker a girl I went to school with 30 years ago to know this or the bloke four doors down that I say hello to if he’s washing his car.

You wanted the post to be ‘a fuck you’ to your ex, but now he’s kicked off, the Police are involved and all your friends will be gossiping about the post and the fact it’s now been taken down. Was that all worth it? Being private is such a dignified trait in my opinion.

pizzaHeart · 19/07/2025 10:44

CopperWhite · 19/07/2025 09:59

Your ex’s response is ridiculous, but I don’t think that was a nice thing to post. If you have people on your friends list who know your ex and see he is struggling after the divorce, it doesn’t make you come across well to them. He is implicated in your post so I can understand why he doesn’t like it. He’s probably acting like a twat because that’s people often do when they lose a lot in life.

And how is him struggling (if) because of his own actions a concern for OP???
Especially considering that his actions fucked up her and her children’s lives.

junkmaail · 19/07/2025 10:46

Congratulations on buying him out OP! He don’t get a say in what you post on Fb. Do you know who showed him the screenshot?

SpryCat · 19/07/2025 10:46

He doesn’t like the fact, you are celebrating, it makes his ego shrivel up. It’s your fb page, your news and as for the ‘no plans to cohabit’, you didn’t have plans when you signed it, it doesn’t mean you can’t ever move someone in. He is just trying to scare you, block him on SM and mobile phone and show him he has no control, no say, over your life anymore!

TequilaNights · 19/07/2025 10:49

You didn't nothing wrong, post what you bloody like on your Facebook anything that upsets him, is his problem, have a look through your Facebook and delete a few people.

The issue is the person that shared it with him... not your issue.

Nevereatcardboard · 19/07/2025 10:51

Do you know who showed him the post? You need to block them and anyone else who is still in contact with your ex.

DrowningInSyrup · 19/07/2025 10:53

Fuck him and ignore him as much as is humanly possible. Reinstate FB, no one should have this much control over you, especially not an ex.

HedwigIsMySpiritAnimal · 19/07/2025 10:54

Moveoverdarlin · 19/07/2025 10:43

It’s just a tacky thing to post. It’s airing your dirty laundry in my opinion. Share the news with your parents or best friend but don’t put things like this on social media. No one needs to give details about their financial status or home ownership details on Facebook for gods sake. We paid off our mortgage recently, it was an absolutely momentous day in our own little world, we are so proud of ourselves. But no way in the world would I want Jenny Baker a girl I went to school with 30 years ago to know this or the bloke four doors down that I say hello to if he’s washing his car.

You wanted the post to be ‘a fuck you’ to your ex, but now he’s kicked off, the Police are involved and all your friends will be gossiping about the post and the fact it’s now been taken down. Was that all worth it? Being private is such a dignified trait in my opinion.

Why do you have Jenny or the bloke down the street as Facebook friends?? That’s way more weird! My Facebook friends are, you know, my ACTUAL friends 🤷‍♀️

ARichtGoodDram · 19/07/2025 10:54

Moveoverdarlin · 19/07/2025 10:43

It’s just a tacky thing to post. It’s airing your dirty laundry in my opinion. Share the news with your parents or best friend but don’t put things like this on social media. No one needs to give details about their financial status or home ownership details on Facebook for gods sake. We paid off our mortgage recently, it was an absolutely momentous day in our own little world, we are so proud of ourselves. But no way in the world would I want Jenny Baker a girl I went to school with 30 years ago to know this or the bloke four doors down that I say hello to if he’s washing his car.

You wanted the post to be ‘a fuck you’ to your ex, but now he’s kicked off, the Police are involved and all your friends will be gossiping about the post and the fact it’s now been taken down. Was that all worth it? Being private is such a dignified trait in my opinion.

Why would you have randoms from 30 years ago and a bloke from 4 doors down on your Facebook? That's bizarre - everyone I know uses it for friends and family.

Surely the days of having everyone you've ever met on your social media are long gone?

Foreverm0re · 19/07/2025 10:56

Tell him to fuck off. He just doesn’t want people seeing something that’s not playing up to his own narrative. Also, ignore the few twatty comments on here. You did nothing wrong.

Multispool · 19/07/2025 10:57

You should be proud. It’s far from an inappropriate overly personal or vengeful post ; it’s fine and if I were a friend or even just a Facebook acquaintance I would think good on you.

Fuck him, you are divorced and all finances sorted? He is nothing to do with you. Don’t tell him anything about your plans for the future though - no heads up on anything as it’s non of his business and your children are of an age where you don’t have to communicate with him.

Cavello · 19/07/2025 10:58

I love how exes think they get a say in what you do! Lol! I would have sent a laughing emoji back to him, dickhead.

Well done you should be proud of your achievement, and I don't blame you at all for posting it. Light after a storm and all that.

He's just pissed off, and threatening you was out of order.

Biskieboo · 19/07/2025 11:01

I'm in two minds with this one - on the one hands he (and whoever decided to stir the shit by showing him the post), is clearly a complete prick and you've done well to untangle yourself from him. On the other I just do not understand why people feel the need to share this sort of stuff on social media. I mean yes you've got the right to do so and yes you can tell him to get stuffed if he doesn't like it, but it's not exactly unforeseeable that it could cause drama is it? So when it does and a MN post follows, my main sentiment is a big fat 'Oh FFS'.