Was I being unreasonable posting about this on FB?

[fortygin]

long story short, I have finally, after 8 years of separation, bought my ex out of my family home. I have been paying all bills/mortgage myself since then so the split of equity was 70/30 to me.
I posted a ‘proud of myself’ post, just stating I’d bought an ex out and would now see this day as a celebration rather than the worst day of my life (I found out about his affair 8 years to the day the mortgage completed).
Well he is livid, someone sent him a copy of the post and Ive been sent a message calling me a fucking juvenile dickhead and to ‘sort it or he will’
I get that it was maybe silly posting on fb and I have never posted anything personal but was just so delighted with myself being in a position to secure this home on my own.
He has threatened legal action as in divorce matrimonial agreement in June I said I had no plans to co habit but did give him a heads up last week that my partner of 7.5 years would possibly be moving in in November. (After looong discussions with my dc who live here 21,19,17 and 14).
wibu?! I’m not in a great place right now.
fb has been deactivated btw

It’s not nasty.

Posting about personal financial matters on Facebook is tacky and was bound to wind people up.

Nah.

No absolutely not your facebook your house your life. He won’t like being called out publicly they never do ! Glad he’s gone ! Scumbag

He has threatened legal action as in divorce matrimonial agreement in June

What do you mean by this? Are you actually divorced yet? And why does it matter that you said you weren’t going to cohabit but last week you gave him the heads up that you might in November? It isn’t any of his business is it?

Well done OP, I bet that feels amazing and no one should take away your achievement.
He’s lost control of you now and is trying to exert it in any way he can. Don’t let him spoil your happiness. You can post what you want on your socials. Block anyone that would report back to him and go live a happy life.

Financials are signed off. Decree absolute expected in six weeks. Old mortgage paid off, new mortgage started and land registry signed over to me

First of all, congratulations and well done OP, I'm so glad that you have achieved this and can feel secure in your home. You are right to be really proud of yourself!

For me, I wouldn't post about such personal stuff on Facebook but that's a personal choice. There's nothing wrong with you making a different choice. Your ex can like it or lump it, it's absolutely nothing to do with him what you choose to share. I imagine he's upset that it doesn't show him in a good light - but that is the consequence of the poor choices he made!

Well done you.

As for deactivating FB fuck that. As pp said youre still giving him a level of control. I.hope you've deleted the friend who told him

Enjoy your celebration

Fuck him. You owe him nothing. You've done absolutely nothing wrong.

None of his business who you move into YOUR home.

He holds no power over you.

Not an huge public social media fan either so agree with all of this (including the part about the risks of moving someone else in, especially if you still have young DC at home). Doesn’t mean that your Ex’s reaction wasn’t awful though, but it sounds like that’s a pattern for them.

This x100 well done op

There is no way I would remove a post or deactivate my Facebook based on the bullying tactics of my now insignificunt XH.
He's only pissed because your post doesn't fit with the narrative he has been telling people, the same narrative that makes him look like the victim or the hero , rather than the villain!
Well done OP, you deserve to feel so proud of yourself!! You have risen up and there's nothing wrong with shouting that from the rooftops!!
And I say this as someone who rarely posts on Facebook!
Don't allow his bitterness or threats to affect your decisions, or you may as well still be married to him.

Ps: I thought it very kind of you to describe his current partner as a lady. Very classy of you! 👏

Reinstate your FB and block whoever told him - as well as anyone who has anything to do with him perhaps. Don't let him control your SM.

You didn't mention him or even the affair and he's still happily shacked up with her so I really don't know what his issue is. Don't let him control your life, block him on everything and post what the hell you like.

You are both unreasonable. Him for being an arsehole and you for the self indulgent post!

@LucasBucktotally agree re kids but mine are young adults and teens who have known this person for almost seven years, have been involved in the discussion and desisions as to wether they move in. This is not a decision that was made lightly and had not happened yet

If you really must post such personal things on facebook, do it with a different name so nobody can identify you or anyone concerning you. It wasn't fair, or necessary, for you to do it that way.

He'll calm down but I don't blame him for being upset by it. It's not just your business, it's his.

People share far too much on facebook. It is embarrassing, silly and pointless.

I wouldn’t give a flying fuck about his opinion and any messages from him would be met with a laughing emoji or just being ignored. His opinion is nothing to you now. Let him stew in his own rage sea of twatishness. Congratulations on moving your life forwards op.

Well done you and is just ignore him or give him a 👍

so it was an empty threat?

If he can’t do anything now before you get the decree absolute- ignore. If he can go back and ask for an amendment then seek legal advice.

You wanted to share a big moment in your life with friends and family on social media. That's not unreasonable even if others have different views on privacy. Your Ex does not get to tell you what you can and cannot do. He can ask you to remove it (nicely), not threaten you to do so. It's dented his ego and he's probably getting asked questions about it. His problem given what he did to end the marriage.

A friend had something similar a few years back. Her marriage had ended and she used that as an opportunity to improve herself and undertook a degree, passing first class. She did it whilst a single parent on a low income and struggling financially whilst her Ex refused maintenance. Good for her. She posted about her success and intention to move on and look for work in her new field of expertise, leaving poverty behind. He was furious and threatened her too. She ignored it and followed up with a second post which we, her friends, fully supported.

Now, she is forging ahead in her new career, going from strength to strength and people respect her for her hard work and commitment and her kids are also thriving. Her Ex? He's still bitter and resentful and has had a string of failed relationships. The FB post was not the problem here. Her Ex was.

Block whoever sent him the copy. They're no friend of yours.

It is irrelevant whether you were unreasonable or not: He has no business telling you what to do and absolutely no business threatening you.

Take no notice - hahaha at what I imagine the police's response would be if he goes to them whining that the woman he left 8 years ago posted that she had gained ownership of her house.

Neither it is any of his business who moves into your house.

Personally I would lock down my Fb and have a good look at what sort of trouble-stirring spiteful dick goes running to him with your posts. And personally I don't post explicit messages about personal stuff including this sort of thing.

Look forwards, not back - you are free - you don't have to invent chains by being stressed by his attempts to harrass you.

Why are so many people saying it’s a stupid thing to post

be proud @fortygin. You have achieved something by yourself

assume you are divorced now. If been with new partner 7+ yrs the ex must be in the past many years ago

he can stay there !

I would wonder who told him out of your friends on fb as they are not a friend !

Well how dare you be happy, independent and successful??

Ignore him.
Keep copies (photos) of threats and a log.

None of his damn business is it?

Posting about personal financial matters on Facebook is tacky and was bound to wind people up.

It'll only wind up dickhead exes - who don't matter - and disloyal flying monkeys - who also don't matter.

Anyone else would be delighted for a friend or relative in the OP's shoes.