Was I being unreasonable posting about this on FB?

[fortygin]

long story short, I have finally, after 8 years of separation, bought my ex out of my family home. I have been paying all bills/mortgage myself since then so the split of equity was 70/30 to me.
I posted a ‘proud of myself’ post, just stating I’d bought an ex out and would now see this day as a celebration rather than the worst day of my life (I found out about his affair 8 years to the day the mortgage completed).
Well he is livid, someone sent him a copy of the post and Ive been sent a message calling me a fucking juvenile dickhead and to ‘sort it or he will’
I get that it was maybe silly posting on fb and I have never posted anything personal but was just so delighted with myself being in a position to secure this home on my own.
He has threatened legal action as in divorce matrimonial agreement in June I said I had no plans to co habit but did give him a heads up last week that my partner of 7.5 years would possibly be moving in in November. (After looong discussions with my dc who live here 21,19,17 and 14).
wibu?! I’m not in a great place right now.
fb has been deactivated btw

Absolute do not treat this as a lesson in what to post.

Treat it as a lesson that you need to cull a person or two from your FB...

I read it as though op wrote something like, "this will now be a good day instead of the anniversary of the worst day of my life" (discovery of an affair). I personally wouldn't have done that with children involved.
It is something to celebrate though.

Did you miss that they split up 8 YEARS ago?

Sort your settings and then be a sleuth and find out who the spy is. A bit like what Coleen Rooney did.

Ok, that makes a difference and his reaction is even more disproportionate.

Not suggesting this for anyone else’s sake but the OP’s. Surely people can share good news with friends/family without the need to make public posts that will inevitably be seen by people they wouldn’t want to see them?

Not suggesting this for anyone else’s sake but the OP’s. Surely people can share good news with friends/family without the need to make public posts that will inevitably be seen by people they wouldn’t want to see them?

And given the OP wants to post it to her friends and family on FB my suggestion is that she clears out the shit-stirring ones is also for her sake.

Clearing out the people she wouldn't want to see them, because they'll shit stir with her threatening ex, will be useful going forward for anything she post.

I absolutely loathe that some posters on here have agreed with your prick of an ex. Even suggesting it’s unwise is bad enough. It’s absolutely none of his business. He’s still trying to emotionally control you. Write what you want on your page. Well done to you. Never be afraid to be yourself and why should you not be congratulated for your achievement. And never let him know anything about your life from here on. He has zero say in anything. Get the financial order completed. Be done with that utter wanker and ignore the spineless mumsnetters that are facilitating male oppression. I agree with not putting everything on FB but it’s your choice as an adult what you post. As long as it’s not defamatory/bullying/racist etc. and this wasn’t. You stand up straight and be proud.

I would care if it was my friend! But that's what having good friends means. What a nasty reply.

Yes it is. And as OP said her children are well aware of the situation, supportive and happy about it.
Her husband was controlling and obviously still wants to be.

OP post what you like, by deactivating your FB you are continuing to let him control you!

wow well done OP for buying him out! I can imagine it wasn’t easy with 4 kids. If you were my friend I would definitely congratulate you on FB. It’s much bigger achievement than visiting a place which most of FB posts are about.
I agree that any posts about ex should be worded carefully considering children but it seems they are not upset and know all of it anyway due to their age.

Hope you’ll find who send him your post and delete them. I wouldn’t delete the post and I would screenshot and methodically save everything and wouldn’t engage further with him.

Good for you - I can see why you are proud. It seems your ex is embarrassed by your post as it makes him look bad. Oh dear.

He’s scared that people will see it and think he’s a dick. Block him on all social media and ignore him.

What a cheek he has, happy to carry on an affair yet blustering when you post on FB!

Well done to you! That’s a great achievement.

Keep your FB and post what you like. But lock down your privacy settings and unfriend anyone who might send your posts to your ex. They are not your friends.

I should mention there was no mention of the affair beyond the wording of ‘worst day of my life’.

I'd have been tempted to screenshot his abusive message and post that onto FB as well, but that's because I'm a fucking juvenile dickhead 😁

@CopperWhite I don't think OP owes her ex 'nice' given that he has form for not being particularly nice himself.

Well done, OP. I 100% get that this must feel like a wonderful achievement -one which I aim to emulate. I would be SO proud in your shoes.

Me too...

With a "looks like i have upset someone here 🙄 "

Fuck him, its your Facebook, you put what you want.

@GentleIronthank you so much. I AM proud, 8 years ago I was working a 14 hr minimum wage job and I pulled my way up to a place that I was able to qualify for a mortgage on our family home. Possibly an unwise decision to post but I was so proud.

wash your dirty linen in public?
i dont really know what you wrote exactly
and what the point was

Probably doesn't fit the usual narrative of 'the bitch took my house' that he's spouted. Reinstate your FB and put a cryptic post up about, spies or being watched. You can block people from seeing it, so don't make it visible to your children.

It's fuck all to do with him. He wasn't mentioned, because he's not part of your life. I guess being a pointless cheating bastard makes you bitter, rather than happy. He can suck it up. Glad you've reported the threat. Let him throw his little tantrum and ditch the.mutual contact who has been stirring the pot.

Well done for reporting that dickheads threat to you.
Congratulations on moving forward without the dickhead.
Ignore him completely.

I would be happy for a friend in those circumstances. She can post what she wants.

I wouldn't deactivate Facebook over it OP, but I would lock it down. Make sure it's private and only your own friends and family are on it. That way your nosey ex and his flying monkeys won't see what you post.