DH wants to take the babysitter to the beach

[Sickofmen12]

I have some health problems but I have weeks on end when I manage ok. 3 school age DC. We have a teenage babysitter to help if needed if I have a flare up. DH cannot help - profession where he can’t take time off without lots of notice.

DH and I were talking about a day trip to the beach and he said we will have to take babysitter. I asked why, and he said that I’m not well enough to run around with the DC on the beach (alas, probably true) nor can he (he has a few health issues, but he goes running for fitness).

YABU- DH was just trying to help, bringing in help so you didn’t have to do anything. You’re lucky

YANBU - it would be so awkward, paying a teenage babysitter for hours to be squeezed on the backseat with your kids and then run around on the beach in a cute swimsuit and you look awful due to your illness as your husband thinks you’re incapable of looking after your own kids alonee, even when he’s there.

How old are kids ? How old is babysitter?

I’d be glad to have the help.

How old are the children?

I wouldn't be happy about this.

I would find it really intrusive having this non family member there on what is supposed to be a family outing. And it does sound as though your H doubts your ability to look after your children.

But I do think it's worrying that you are implying your H has some sort of sexual interest in the teenage babysitter.

How many dcs? How old?

Taking the babysitter sounds like a smart move if you have more than two or if either of you is having a health-challenging day.

Useful when one wants to paddle, one needs the loo and one wants to build sandcastles. A perfectly normal thing to do unless you suspect he's got the hots for the babysitter.

It could be very helpful and made the day more enjoyable and less stressful for Everyone. I think it's a good idea. Teenagers have lots of energy for kids too

You find his interest worrying? Or her referring to it?

If he does have a sexual interest in the babysitter then of course it is worrying for the OP. And her post implies that she thinks he does.

If they're school aged, do they need a babysitter? The only issue would be water safety imo. Also perhaps hire old, ugly people in the future.

Eew. He sounds like he wants to see the babysitter in a bikini.

Eew. He sounds like he wants to see the babysitter in a bikini.

Why does it mean that?

Beach days with my dc are quite full on with lots of energy needed.

Oh for goodness sake all he is suggesting is help so you can all enjoy the day that bit better. A teenager who can run about it doesn't matter what she wears for goodness sake I'm sure she would enjoy a few extra quid and a day at the beach as would you with a bit less stress. I have various health problems and our babysitter has even come on holiday with us and what a super help it is. Yes we paid for her holiday food etc and she got a few quid. We've done it 3 times and it's been great and that's not to mention all the lovely days out. I'm exactly same can be fine for days or weeks then boom brick wall so I absolutely appreciate the help and the 3 toddlers adore her and my hubby just thinks the family has grown when she's about 😂 with our teens around aswell

If you are paying her properly then I don't see the problem, sounds like he is trying to help.

Are you worried about her in a swimsuit.

Your username, "sick of men" do you dislike your DH?

What’s your actual issue here? Because your post is about needing help with the kids, then you throw in a line at the end about your teenage babysitter in a swimsuit.

If your issue is that you don’t think you need extra help on this trip then speak up and say so. You don’t necessarily need to be able to run around, you just need to be able to get involved and engage with the family in any way that works.

If your actual issue is that you don’t want your teenage babysitter to be wearing a swimsuit in front of your husband then be clear about what the problem is. Has he given you reason to suspect he has inappropriate feelings towards her? Or her towards him? If not, for either of them, then you are being unreasonable to even suggest it.

Hire a different babysitter.
You do realise if he fancied her, he'll fancy her in a black bag.
If you think he does, you have bigger problems, either comparing yourself to a teenager or a pervy husband.

Because I just cannot see any reason why they need a babysitter at the beach.
The kids are school aged, so presumably can listen to instructions.
The dad is able to run.
The mum cannot run (who cares, i can run, but i don't, because honestly who can be bothered), but presumably is able to sit and build sandcastles, stand on the shoreline with the kids splashing, or sit and dole out snacks and reapply sunscreen.

They sound a bit hopeless and helpless to be honest.

You do realise if he fancied her, he'll fancy her in a black bag.

Exactly & beaches tend to have other young females in bikinis.

Because I just cannot see any reason why they need a babysitter at the beach.The kids are school aged, so presumably can listen to instructions.

They already have help so why not for days out?

They sound a bit hopeless and helpless to be honest.

Why judge though?

The babysitter is hired for when OP is unwell and parenting alone. Not a family beach day.

And OP has posted for opinions. So, that's what I'm doing.

Sorry OP I should clarify, I don't think YOU sound hopeless and helpless. I mean if your husband insists on bringing the babysitter to play with your kids, THEN it does come across that way for you both.

They sound a bit hopeless and helpless to be honest.

I don't think the OP was looking for that kind of opinion...

The OP said she can't run and nor can DH. I just think it's a really weird leap to assume his only motivation is perving on the babysitter.

Sorry did you just say “a teenager.. running round a cute swimming suit”…. And you see her as a sexual rival in relation to your husband?

A teenager.

Wtf?

Yoy need to give your head a wobble and you should not invite her to the beach , nor have her babysit for your family as she is only a teenager and does not deserved to be sexualised in this manner by adults she is working for.

I agree with this.
There is no reason to invite the babysitter.
If you're feeling off about your DH, that is a different issue.
Have a lovely day at the beach.

your husband thinks you’re incapable of looking after your own kids alonee, even when he’s there

Wouldn’t it be more accurate to say your husband can’t be bothered to pull his weight and look after the kids even when he’s there…