DH wants to take the babysitter to the beach

[Sickofmen12]

I have some health problems but I have weeks on end when I manage ok. 3 school age DC. We have a teenage babysitter to help if needed if I have a flare up. DH cannot help - profession where he can’t take time off without lots of notice.

DH and I were talking about a day trip to the beach and he said we will have to take babysitter. I asked why, and he said that I’m not well enough to run around with the DC on the beach (alas, probably true) nor can he (he has a few health issues, but he goes running for fitness).

YABU- DH was just trying to help, bringing in help so you didn’t have to do anything. You’re lucky

YANBU - it would be so awkward, paying a teenage babysitter for hours to be squeezed on the backseat with your kids and then run around on the beach in a cute swimsuit and you look awful due to your illness as your husband thinks you’re incapable of looking after your own kids alonee, even when he’s there.

Four kids at the beach is a lot, with water being dangerous. I'd value help. The issue is whether your husband fancies the babysitter, or is it just that you have a poor self image right now?

Poor babysitter. She’s a young teenage girl who probably thinks a 25 year old man is ancient.

Sorry for the bluntness, but if your DH isn’t fit enough to run ( is he 30’s/40’s), I don’t think you have anything to worry about.

it sounds like a sensible solution.

What in OP suggests that? I’ve read it three times and can’t see it?

Has this man never looked after his own children before?!

If you are going to torture yourself with thoughts of your DH leering after a teenager in a swimsuit then don't ask her. If not then it would be a sensible idea to get help on the day out to the beach if you think it will be hard to manage.

Lol I did that sometimes when my twins were younger! I never thought people would judge. The friends who went on the days out with us didn’t seem to mind.
How is it different from having a cleaner for example?

So your core issue is the fact she’ll be in a bathing suit?

If your husband suggested taking her somewhere that didn’t require a bathing suit to help you out for the day and play with the kids would you have an issue then?

Is running around after kids a different style and method of running to running for fitness? Interested to know your DH’s technique that makes one possible and not the other.

He runs but can’t look after the kids at a fun place like the beach, I don’t understand how this works

God, all these assumptions, husband wants to see babysitter in a bikini, dirty pig, what if ..🤢
Yes, it's quite possible, also one third of all men would happily rape a woman if no consequences.
Other option is, the young woman doesn't need to wear a bikini, might want to earn a bit of money and it would be a massive help for the husband, regarding (small?) kids at the beach.
I wouldn't live like this, all the faff and what ifs.
As people say here, speaking for myself, life is to short to worry about this.
I'm sure, whatever his reasons, the kids will be safer if the babysitter is present.

😂😂

I think he has 'cantbefuckeditis'

but yet another single (controversial) post & 'non returning OP' thread 🙄🙄🙄

No , if he can go running for fitness he can look after children, watch out he has ideas about your babysitter

I think you’ve got more impiety problems than being jealous of a teenager babysitter.

What a horrible comment.

Can you not sit on beach in deck chair and supervise? Your husband has energy for fitness running but not to look after his own children, he needs a stern word

'A few quid' to look after three toddlers?

Where does OP say the babysitter is a boy? There's nothing in the post to suggest that and her saying the babysitter could be wearing a 'cute swimsuit' doesn't imply that either.

His reasoning is obviously that she can run around with the kids while you parents get a chance to relax on the beach, reading your books and eating ice creams without the kids bugging you for this and that. Sounds lovely.

She isn’t going to be the only young woman in a swimsuit on the beach and you won’t be the only mum insecure about her body. Try to let go of the negative thoughts and enjoy yourself. Sounds like you have a loving husband who has your back. From what I read on MN this is becoming rare. Enjoy.

Will the kids love having the baby sitter there to entertain them at the beach? If so I think it's a great idea.

The OP suggests the baby sitter will be wearing a 'cute' swimsuit so I have no idea why everyone is saying it's a boy.

I did this lots of times when my DC were young, I looked on it in a similar way to a grandparent going on a day out partly to help out as an extra pair of hands.

Thank-you everyone for the view points. The issue is more about me wanting intimacy and privacy because we rarely do anything as a family, and feeling like DH doesn’t accept and understand that I feel like this, and DH upping his game in looking after the kids on a leisure day. He’s got his own trips lined up this summer.

Babysitter is 19, paid properly and she herself isn’t the issue and she’s lovely. DH isn’t interested in her romantically. I don’t want to give him ideas with seeing her in a swimsuit though, when I don’t give him any action right now due to being unwell.

When I used to babysit I’d go on days out like this all the time. I actually found it quite fun if I’m honest, better than being stuck in the house all day. If I were you I’d maybe offer her some extra cash, because a beach day is full on.

I always find the beach stressful and only really take the kids if there’s an extra adult there. Taking the babysitter sounds like a shout.

Wow, you have a very low opinion of your husband if you think seeing a teenager in a bathing suit is a problem. “Give him ideas” - geez.

YABVU

Why are you letting your insecurities about your body overtake a fun day out for the kids.

I think DH could manage 3 kids but I don’t know what your kids are like and whether they do need an extra carer.

The fact that you need a second pair of hands means that they likely aren’t that independent yet and so an extra person will probably come in handy.

I assume you have a car big enough for everyone.

This is purely about your DH seeing her in her swimming costume and that is not a reason to not invite her.