DH expects me to seduce him

[Hereagain334]

DH and I are trying for a baby (40's so will be almost impossible). I have blood tests, scans, fertility appointments etc...he doesn't even have to wank into a pot. I have PCOS so realise I'm up against it and won't likely succeed. He knows all this. My AIBU is that he doesn't want ANY pressure about having sex with me during my most fertile days. I've gently tried to explain some days are better than others for getting pregnant but he responded by accusing me of putting pressure on him. When asked how I should go about it he said I should 'come and seduce him' when I'm at my most fertile and that he didn't want to know when that was!!
I'm so shocked I can't even articulate a response so am worried I'm being hysterical. But I'm so fucking angry I doubt I'll sleep with the twat again.

I wish they were 😂😂

Exactly. Let men be men and women be women. Don't have to spell everything out. It's such a passion killer

No she didn’t. Presumably he doesn’t need tested as she said he wasn’t needed to wank into a pot. Nowhere did she say he’d refused to be tested. Where did she say he said he doesn’t want to know anything about TTC?

she feels he doesn’t have to do much for it but didn’t say any of whaT you’ve said at all.

You do know how babys are made don’t you? His ejactulation is a pretty important part of the equation. If he can’t come because he’s not feeling it and not turned on, there will be no baby! Look at it this way, your looking at it as a task that needs done, fair enough, but you don’t actually have to orgasm or even enjoy it to conceive, he does!

Well considering he needs an erection
to get you pregnant and they tend to be effected by pressure for some men it makes some sense?

I mean he might have phrased it a stupid way but he’s basically saying that the pressure of ttc is effecting his ability to have sex and if you know it’s a fertile day just come onto him so he can do the deed.

but waking up to him saying I’m fertile let’s go isn’t really a winning strategy.

🤣🤣🤣

This reminds me of Friends when Monica was trying to get pregnant with Chandler 🤣

Presumably as he doesn’t even have to wank into a pot, his sperm is fine and they’re trying to work out OP’s issues with conceiving. She didn’t say anywhere that he’d refused..tf is it with some women on here making up stuff.

This reminds me of Friends when Monica was trying to get pregnant with Chandler 🤣

Perhaps being expected to maintain an erection on demand is a big turnoff for him. I know I wouldn't find 'we need to do it now' very appealing either.

Why not have some fun instead? Discrete al fresco sex. Early morning sex - take advantage of the state he wakes up in. Or cook supper and then take dessert to bed with you. Seduction doesn't have to mean basque & suspenders and all that faff.

Once you have a small child, the opportunities are limited so make the most of now. 😊

Think you need to read the post properly @partygate

Exactly. Make it fun. Use the womanly prowess that we've been blessed with. If it's for a good cause. Why not.

OK then, you show him! Stand by your beliefs and dont do it!
You'll be childless but have won the argument right?

Quite happy to ignore your advice in particular. You're not contributing anything worth reading on this thread.

Yes I have some issues to get checked. Am OK with that and if its not possible then will have to accept it. What I'm not OK with is him dumping all the stress, worry and responsibility on me then expect me to go crawling to him for some of his precious spunk. Which he struggles to produce at the best of times....fuck that.

This is your hint about what it would be like to have children with this man child. He’s not going to change. He’ll sit back and whine while you do all the work. Sorry.

Does he ever try and seduce you?

No idea why people are piling on you, op. YANBU to want a partner in every sense of the word. He’s not even trying, is he.

Well he needs to wank in a cup then and you can inseminated yourself. Most men would be happy to just do it when asked. He is hindering this process, are you sure he'll be a good Dad? Do you want to consider getting a sperm bank baby? It might be easier.

Also he should get his sperm checked so you know you aren't wasting your time. If he says he won't, then you know he doesn't give a shit about having a baby. Mens fertility drops after forty so get him on the vitamins as quickly as possible, and get him to exercise. If he is a slob then you have no chance as his sperm will be shit.

If he is struggling to produce it maybe he is concerned he won’t perform under pressure. I was ttc for years and it really took all the joy out of sex telling my dh when ovulation sticks were positive etc. he never has issues but found it really stressful . It was horrible looking back on it. Just because you have pcos doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be checked out too if you are ttc by the way.