Retired in laws won’t come pick up dog before my due date

[Oli16]

I’m due on the 12th August with my DH first baby, we have a 5 year old staffy who we love and have agreed with my in laws that they will kindly look after him for the first couple of weeks whilst me and my partner settle in with our newborn at home. We then plan to introduce dog and baby when we’ve settled in a little bit with baby at home just us two (our dog is lovely but requires a lot of attention!)

My partner tonight said his parents “aren’t keen” on driving to London to come and pick up our dog (they live up north 4.5 hour drive each way) so want my partner to drive halfway to meet them to drop the dog off but this would be 9 days before my due date - which makes me VERY nervous that DH might be driving on the motorway whilst I might go into labour…

AIBU to be stressed out that DH would be leaving to drive 4 hours away 9 days before my due date? AIBU to be annoyed that my retired in laws won’t offer to come down to us, stay over and take the dog back with them?

So what was the original plan/hope? That they would do a 9 hour round trip or would they come down stay over and take the dog back with them?

Pay for an overnight dog sitter or kennel . Job done, at your convenience.

Why on earth are you sending your dog 4.5 hours away so you can settle in with a baby? It's the dogs home and you're just unsettling her even more by kicking her out and bringing her back to a different home.

Do what everyone else does, keep the dog separate and happy while you introduce the new human.

9 days before due date is probably fine - I worked till three days before my due date. See if you can find a friend as back up just in case.

you are unreasonable to expect them to do everything your way when they are doing you a massive favour.

TBH your DH should be taking the dog to them.

Pay for kennels, and leave the in-laws out of it.

Bloody hell OP
I was driving that far, DH was working away, they’re doing you a massive favour. Can they come down and collect the dog/ meet the baby at the same time? Or are they going to be on dog duty.
I would love to hear their side of the story…

Them being retired isn't really relevant. You can't expect them to drive that far in one day. I presume you aren't putting them up for a couple of nights before driving back? I think they are being quite reasonable in meeting half way. Get someone to be with you while he goes to meet them or pay for kennels.

But at the most he will only be 2 hours away if they are meeting half way?

They are already doing you a massive favour and they are not even asking you to take the dog all the way to them.

I think you're being a bit dramatic. 9 days before it's probably fine.
It's also a bit unreasonable to expect them to drive all that way and have your dog for all that time.

Contrary to what you see on Casualty labour is a slowly developing process. Not a 1.5 hr wonder.

What a palaver. Just keep the poor dog at home (other people manage!), or drive halfway.
You are being totally unreasonable.

Really decent of them to offer to drive half way.

4 hours away is fine especially 9 days before your due date. In the unlikely event that your contractions start in that very small window, he’ll have plenty of time to get back.

Sorry but I really think you’re being ridiculous, op. I feel sorry for your in laws and your dog.

Oh for goodness sake, this is spectacularly unreasonable. It's a 9 hour round trip! Stop being so precious and pay for a dog sitter, or send the dog to kennels. Just because the in laws are retired, it doesn't mean you can treat them like slaves.

Not my labours.

First babies are more likely to be late than early, first labours tend to take a long time.

My then DH was in Afghanistan nine days before DD arrived. He came home four days before.

You'll be fine.

Chances of going into labour in that window of time are fairly slim and even if you do it will probably take a while….

They are minding the dog for a considerable length of time so Id go with whatever suits them.

I was "in labour" (waters had broken) for 24 hours before anything started to happen. The likelihood of anything happening in that 4 hour window is negligible at best.

You want them to do a 9 hour round trip?

go with OH if you’re worried about going into labour?

A week and half before baby is due, first babies are often late so say baby comes a week late (could be more) and then another 2 weeks. I’m not a dog person but sending a dog away for 4.5 weeks maybe stressful for it and then it’a going on a long journey to find a baby in it’s home.

I would do that drive for my adult children if they thought it would help those early, scary, unknown days go a bit more smoothly. But what’s the plan for the in-laws to meet new grandbaby if they’re looking after the dog?

I don’t think it would be in the dogs best interests to go away for so long. I’m not a dog owner but will it not risk them feeling resentful when they come home to a new baby?

I would have thought it better to keep their routine and introduce them to the baby asap so they are able to get used to them.

Jeez, they are doing you a massive favour, it's hard work having someone else's dog, especially if it needs lots of attention! Your dh should be driving all the way IF the dog goes at all but really you shouldn't send it away at all.

I think when people are doing you a favour you say thank you and work with what they are willing to do, or you make other arrangements. It’s a dog. It’s not difficult to keep a dog and a newborn apart. If you want the dog elsewhere then either make other plans or be grateful you’ve got relatives willing to make such a long journey (even half way is a long round trip) to meet your wishes (since this is a “want” not a “need”).