Retired in laws won’t come pick up dog before my due date

[Oli16]

I’m due on the 12th August with my DH first baby, we have a 5 year old staffy who we love and have agreed with my in laws that they will kindly look after him for the first couple of weeks whilst me and my partner settle in with our newborn at home. We then plan to introduce dog and baby when we’ve settled in a little bit with baby at home just us two (our dog is lovely but requires a lot of attention!)

My partner tonight said his parents “aren’t keen” on driving to London to come and pick up our dog (they live up north 4.5 hour drive each way) so want my partner to drive halfway to meet them to drop the dog off but this would be 9 days before my due date - which makes me VERY nervous that DH might be driving on the motorway whilst I might go into labour…

AIBU to be stressed out that DH would be leaving to drive 4 hours away 9 days before my due date? AIBU to be annoyed that my retired in laws won’t offer to come down to us, stay over and take the dog back with them?

Yes YABU

I can’t imagine shipping my dogs off for 2 weeks because I’ve had a baby, it’s their home too. In fact dogs home long before the babies I’d just adjust and cope. your dog isn’t even a puppy!

being retired doesn’t mean lifeless at home with nothing to do and it doesn’t mean they are available to be at your beck and call.

id seriously reconsider sending the dog full stop.

Unreasonable on every level.
Aside from what pp have said about the 9 days and the piss take out of your in-laws, I think shipping your dog out is a terrible idea. Let him meet the baby straight away, are you really planning on letting him meet them after weeks away and a 9 hour car journey?? Highly stupid idea

There's advice out there somewhere about the best way to introduce baby to resident doggie. It's something around bringing the baby's smell home on a blanket or similar, and then baby arrives with you. I think the dog will find it more difficult to adjust to baby if it's been away from home for a fortnight. Can your in-laws not stay over with dog while you are at the hospital having the baby?

I think you are setting up more problems removing the dog….my BIL/SIL have a very reactive Rottweiler. And had a baby.
they played a crying baby repeatedly whilst pregnant, got him used to the new equipment..they have had no problems at all. Obviously always careful with him and don’t leave them alone.
but sending your dog away 4.5 hours away?? and then bringing it back to a new baby? Nope.

Why send the dog away? I'd get a local friend to have him when you're in labour but otherwise keep him at home. You'll unsettle him much more with a long journey to someone else's house and back!!

He'll be max a couple of hours away. I understand the anxiety but labour isn't usually like the movies!! It would be quite miraculous if you happened to go into labour in the short window and even get anywhere close to having given birth.

It's v kind your relatives are taking your dog in, and even kinder they're meeting your husband half way x

They’re doing you the favour so you should be inconvenienced - you could always do the drive with him in the very slim event that you go into labour sometime in the 5 hour window you’d at least be together

Why should they be away from home and have a long drive either side ?

Sorry OP YABU, they are doing you a huge favour, would not expect my parents and inlaws to drive an 8 hour round trip to do a favour for me.

Ignoring all the above comments on whether you are unreasonable or not ( which you are as your DH will be a maximum of 2.5 hours away which in most cases you’ll spend at home if you go into labour/start of labour), won’t you miss you little dog! I was in hospital for 3 days when I gave birth and I missed my lab so much and couldnt wait to get home to him and introduce him to his little brother. Those last days of maternity leave, he was my rock when my DP was at work and we were snuggling on the sofa or slowly plodding round the block. (He wanted to do more than plod but he did it for me). you find dogs are really adaptable if you introduce them right.

I totally understand the need for a plan for your dog while you actually give birth but not for days or weeks before and after.

This is hilarious! I was working until my due date 😂 and partner was still working away.
If you go into labour he would have time to get back anyway.
You're being a complete princess and they're trying to do you a favour.
Give your head a wobble before they decide its too much hassle at all.
Everyone else in the world just gets on with the baby and the dog if thats their life or they pay someone local to board the dog when needed.

First time labours generally last 24-48 hours. I think you’ll be ok. I feel you might be one of those parents going forward……

Why on earth are you sending your dog away?

It never even entered my head to do that when I had any of my DC.

Poor bloody dog!

Why are you sending your dog away? Someone on hand to look after the dog while you are in labour. My staff loved the baby. As did the Rottweiler. No need to send them away :)

Labour will not be that fast , your more than looking at a good 24 hours from first niggles . 9 days before due date is also fine aslong as you dont have any issues .
I think it’s more than fair for your other half to be doing all the travelling to be honest when they are doing a massive favour for you

YABU! They are doing you a favour, it's up to you to work out the logistics.

The plan seems ridiculous anyway, your DH will be home to look after the dog so why send it away?

Of course they cant drive 9 hours to collect dog. 4 is very generous. And looking after dog for 2 weeks after birth and up to 23 days before birth if 2 weeks late is a lot for anyone to do. I am not sure dog leaving for weeks is best idea for the dog either.

Yabu, they are doing you a favour so you guys need to make the effort.

However, yabvvu sending the dog away whilst you have the baby. You are setting yourself up for issues. Get a dog sitter and keep the dog with you.

Keep the dog at home. Less likely to cause any issues with the dog and the baby, nobody needs to drive anywhere. Problem solved. YABVU.

This 👆

Dog sitter at home. Imagine the difficulties of day away and feeling unsettled and then coming back to a new baby and everything has changed.

OP step away from mumsnet.

True, presumably they'll be coming to meet the baby, although possibly not on the day or day after it arrives!
Usual kennels or dog sitter overnight then, or nearby friends or relatives, bit like you do with an older child. You don't send them away for days on end but they need to be somewhere while parents are at the hospital!
PS love the username!

Bloody hell that is bonkers that you’re expecting them to drive 9 hours to get your dog.

If on the very, very off chance that your husband is 2 hours away and you need to get to hospital just head there yourself and tell him to meet you there.

Wouldn’t it be risky to send your dog away and then they come back to a baby too? Wouldn’t that make the dog more jealous