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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Retired in laws won’t come pick up dog before my due date

292 replies

Oli16 · 13/07/2025 22:00

I’m due on the 12th August with my DH first baby, we have a 5 year old staffy who we love and have agreed with my in laws that they will kindly look after him for the first couple of weeks whilst me and my partner settle in with our newborn at home. We then plan to introduce dog and baby when we’ve settled in a little bit with baby at home just us two (our dog is lovely but requires a lot of attention!)

My partner tonight said his parents “aren’t keen” on driving to London to come and pick up our dog (they live up north 4.5 hour drive each way) so want my partner to drive halfway to meet them to drop the dog off but this would be 9 days before my due date - which makes me VERY nervous that DH might be driving on the motorway whilst I might go into labour…

AIBU to be stressed out that DH would be leaving to drive 4 hours away 9 days before my due date? AIBU to be annoyed that my retired in laws won’t offer to come down to us, stay over and take the dog back with them?

OP posts:
Moveoverdarlin · 13/07/2025 22:48

The dog will understand if you walk in the house with a new baby after a day or two in hospital. He will be confused if he’s sent away for weeks, then has to spend four and half hours in a car then comes home to find this new crying baby.

You are over complicating things massively.

Canonlythinkofthisone · 13/07/2025 22:49

I assume you've never owned a dog before. You don't send it away for a month to reintroduce it to its home with a new member of the pack.
Idocy at its finest.
Also yabu

Sesame2011 · 13/07/2025 22:49

As a FTM who is currently 9 days overdue with a 13 year old staffy at home...YABU 😅

I didn't expect to go this far over. Its unlikely youll go into labour exactly 9 days nefore your due date. Plus I wouldn't want to send my dog away from her home. We will all learn to settle in together.

cadburyegg · 13/07/2025 22:51

Jesus wept. YABU. I can’t believe you actually expect your in laws to do this.

lnks · 13/07/2025 22:51

This is the most entitled thing I’ve read on here in a long time!

Original poster
Oli16 · 13/07/2025 22:53

Icecreamhelps · 13/07/2025 22:31

OP step away from mumsnet.

Hahah I’m being eaten alive!! 😂

OP posts:
Augustone · 13/07/2025 22:53

You are being over dramatic to say the least and please rethink the plan for your poor dog. Your home is the dogs home and you want to turf it out? I had a German Sjepherd when I bought both of my babies home and it never occurred to me not to have him there - we got into a routine and he was brilliant with them. I enjoyed my dog walks with pram and on our own for a breather from baby!

Original poster
Oli16 · 13/07/2025 22:54

BMW6 · 13/07/2025 22:32

Sending your dog away then bringing it back to meet your baby is the worst idea I've ever heard!

Absolutely stupid. Poor dog. Poor baby......

Your username is hilarious 🤣

OP posts:
Remagirl19 · 13/07/2025 22:54

Another dog owner that shouldn’t have a dog!

Original poster
Oli16 · 13/07/2025 22:55

Ilovelifeverymuch · 13/07/2025 22:38

You sound very entitled, if you're so upset pay for a kernel for the dog.

What’s a kernel love?

OP posts:
TheLemonLemur · 13/07/2025 22:56

Even in the extremely unlikely time window that you went into labour exactly the second your partner left chances are he would be back in time. 9 days out many people's partners are still at work etc as baby could be up to 2 weeks late.
How will the dog come back are you expecting in laws to make the journey then? You say it will just be you two when the dog and baby meet are the in laws going to be allowed in to meet their grandchild? I'm not a dog person but I've never known anyone send a dog away to be unsettled living with someone else before returning home to a baby in their space....

OldWomanInACardigan · 13/07/2025 22:56

BaggyPJs · 13/07/2025 22:03

Why on earth are you sending your dog 4.5 hours away so you can settle in with a baby? It's the dogs home and you're just unsettling her even more by kicking her out and bringing her back to a different home.

Do what everyone else does, keep the dog separate and happy while you introduce the new human.

Exactly that. Keep the dog in his own home, and keep the baby separate for a while. Stop being ridiculous. What do you think everyone else does?

vodkaredbullgirl · 13/07/2025 22:56

Yabu

alcoholnightmare · 13/07/2025 22:56

9 days before your due date?
My first was born at 41+3. I text my dad to go round in the morning (he’s local admittedly) and take doggo for a walk and give him breakfast. Dad offered to take dog home with him but I said no thanks as wanted dog to not feel left out - he was a well behaved lovely dog however.

you could be asking your in laws to have your dog for 9 days, plus two weeks overdue potentially, plus two weeks after.

Either you’re taking the piss, or you know your staffy is a nightmare and don’t trust it, in which case, rehome

in short, YABU.

Notonthestairs · 13/07/2025 22:57

It’s not about ‘fur babies’ or whatever else certain posters have implied.

it’s about managing the introduction of a baby in the best manner to keep everyone calm & happy.

unless the dog has spent time with in-laws previously (which for all I know it might have done) sending it away and then bringing it back will create disruption and anxiety which will make it more difficult to integrate.

why make life harder?
Get a dog walker & sitter in now so you’ve established a nice routine that will give you a bit of freedom when you are knackered.

i had an August baby (a long time ago) - you are going to have a lovely summer.

Original poster
Oli16 · 13/07/2025 22:57

OldWomanInACardigan · 13/07/2025 22:56

Exactly that. Keep the dog in his own home, and keep the baby separate for a while. Stop being ridiculous. What do you think everyone else does?

Show quote history

Not sure what everyone else does - hence me asking the question 😂

OP posts:
MascaraGirl · 13/07/2025 22:58

Either you’re taking the piss, or you know your staffy is a nightmare and don’t trust it, in which case, rehome

I wondered if the dog is problematic

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 13/07/2025 22:59

ScaryM0nster · 13/07/2025 22:06

Contrary to what you see on Casualty labour is a slowly developing process. Not a 1.5 hr wonder.

Speak for yourself. I've only been in labour a total of 19 hours and I've had six babies.

IkeaMeatballGravy · 13/07/2025 22:59

Gosh, taking traffic into consideration 2 hours was my husband's commute when I was pregnant with one of my DCs.

It's a big ask to have someone take your dog in for two weeks, especially if they are not doggy people. The least you could do is drop the dog off to them. They only want to to meet them half way!

Original poster
Oli16 · 13/07/2025 23:00

Notonthestairs · 13/07/2025 22:57

It’s not about ‘fur babies’ or whatever else certain posters have implied.

it’s about managing the introduction of a baby in the best manner to keep everyone calm & happy.

unless the dog has spent time with in-laws previously (which for all I know it might have done) sending it away and then bringing it back will create disruption and anxiety which will make it more difficult to integrate.

why make life harder?
Get a dog walker & sitter in now so you’ve established a nice routine that will give you a bit of freedom when you are knackered.

i had an August baby (a long time ago) - you are going to have a lovely summer.

Thanks for the (one) nice message! I think I’m just really nervous about having my first baby and not knowing how my very enthusiastic dog will react - he loves spending time at my in laws so we thought it was a good idea for a couple of weeks whilst we adjust to new parenthood. Perhaps keeping him here and just arranging dog walkers / dog sitters who are familiar already is better. Just knowing what the right way to do this is as never done it before!

ps: everyone on Mumsnet has such a stick up their arse!!! But thanks for a sensible reply :)

OP posts:
Original poster
Oli16 · 13/07/2025 23:01

MascaraGirl · 13/07/2025 22:58

Either you’re taking the piss, or you know your staffy is a nightmare and don’t trust it, in which case, rehome

I wondered if the dog is problematic

He’s a small nightmare and maybe I’m just nervous about how he’s going to react around baby.

OP posts:
saraclara · 13/07/2025 23:02

Oli16 · 13/07/2025 22:57

Not sure what everyone else does - hence me asking the question 😂

Show quote history

You didn't ask a question about what other people do. You asked if you were unreasonable to be annoyed with your in laws.

Original poster
Oli16 · 13/07/2025 23:03

saraclara · 13/07/2025 23:02

You didn't ask a question about what other people do. You asked if you were unreasonable to be annoyed with your in laws.

Show quote history

Thanks Sarah Clara good one!

OP posts:
alcoholnightmare · 13/07/2025 23:03

Oli16 · 13/07/2025 23:01

He’s a small nightmare and maybe I’m just nervous about how he’s going to react around baby.

Show quote history

You've said he “requires a lot of attention” and he’s “a small nightmare” and “enthusiastic and don’t know how he will react”?
fucking hell love. No words.

ExpertArchFormat · 13/07/2025 23:04

Your baby will more than likely be late anyway, and even if not, labour will take more than 4 hours. You are being unreasonable. You're going to need to make a lot of compromises trying to run a home with a dog and a baby, so you need to lighten up. The plan for DH to take the dog half way is totally fine.