Retired in laws won’t come pick up dog before my due date

[Oli16]

I’m due on the 12th August with my DH first baby, we have a 5 year old staffy who we love and have agreed with my in laws that they will kindly look after him for the first couple of weeks whilst me and my partner settle in with our newborn at home. We then plan to introduce dog and baby when we’ve settled in a little bit with baby at home just us two (our dog is lovely but requires a lot of attention!)

My partner tonight said his parents “aren’t keen” on driving to London to come and pick up our dog (they live up north 4.5 hour drive each way) so want my partner to drive halfway to meet them to drop the dog off but this would be 9 days before my due date - which makes me VERY nervous that DH might be driving on the motorway whilst I might go into labour…

AIBU to be stressed out that DH would be leaving to drive 4 hours away 9 days before my due date? AIBU to be annoyed that my retired in laws won’t offer to come down to us, stay over and take the dog back with them?

Terrible idea. Not fair on your in laws or the dog.

They are doing you a favour, so I think it's reasonable of them to ask to meet DH (you could even go with him, if you're really worried he won't be there for you). Also, you have no idea when baby will come. DD was three weeks early, another child could be ten days late.

Obviously the decision has been made that your dog goes to them, but does it really need to? It won't take two of you to constantly look after your newborn, and at times when there's one of you, you'd take time to do housework/washing and my pet would come above that.

Also, they are doing it for free presumably. If your husband being 2.5h max away from you bothers you so much then pay for a local dog boarder instead, will be closer, save your in laws the hassle . 🙄

This

Never even considered sending ddog (lab/staffie/German shepherd X) away. 1st born dd was nearly a month after my due date and if my waters hadn’t broken they were going in the following morning to get her. In labour for 53 hours ending with a C Section.
Now exh took blanket that I had wrapped newborn dd in for several hours, home for ddog to sniff and placed it around the edge of her bed.
When we got home we did exactly what heyhey did.
Whilst ddog was interested in baby and we allowed her to sniff her whilst gently holding her collar for the first time just in case, we never had one incident where we thought ddog could ever be anything more than a loving dog. But we also never had dc climb all over ddog or touch ddog unless ddog came over and sat by them to be stroked. We were also very careful when dc were toddlers and would make sure ddog was out of their line of walking so that they didn’t fall onto or grab ddog on the way down

You have to put yourself in your dogs mind. They get sent away for at least a month to a house that you are usually there with them but you and your dh are missing, so they think they must have done something wrong.

Then they come back to find they have been replaced. It’s not going to end well. Or at the very least you are going to have an upset ddog

You can be careful about ddog not being alone with baby but as long as you both make a big fuss of them and include them in baby things (I used to talk to ddog about what I was doing changing dc’s nappies) and show them nothing really has changed and they are still a loved member of the household and their routine is basically the same, you just now have a baby coming on their walk.

Agree with this .

Dog more settled at yours.

Can you get a dog walker in so she can get some excessive energy out of her system?

YABextreemelyU!

Are your inlaws going to be able to see the baby or are you keeping them away too? Don't tell me your mum can come but no-one else during those weeks?

In laws are going to be in for a rough ride. I see OP refusing to let them see grandchildren if they don't so exactly as she wants in the future. Very demanding

Sounds like you’re massively over dramatic about it all. Plus they’re doing you a huge favour so you should be a bit more grateful. I also wouldn’t keep the dog away from the baby for so long. Best advice we had with introduce them early, as soon as DH was kicked out of the maternity ward he gave the dog a blanket our DS had used so she got his scent etc. We were also advised bring the baby into house whilst the dog is there rather than the dog coming back to the house with the baby already there.

Hadn't thought of that!

Good question OP?

Good advice 👍

I really would rethink sending your dog away.

My husband took home the first onesie she had on, had some blood and stuff on. So our dog could smell her before we came home.

We had already put the Moses basket in the living room and other things up a couple of months previous so he got used to those first.

He was home when got there. I held her, sat on the sofa and my dog sniffed and licked her head.

He is a patterdale terrier and was 12 when we had our daughter. I was worried about the massive change but he was fine.

I was thinking the same 😂

They are doing you the most enormous favour!

I wouldn’t want to look after someone else’s dog at all, never mind for such an extended period. And to expect them to do that drive too!

Are you envisioning just sitting at home with your DH by your side for weeks on end?

Nine days before the birth is loads - way more that I thought you would say. Nine days in total is loads with someone else’s dog. First babies rarely come on time, never mind early.

And your DH will be away for such a short period in the great scheme of things.

This sounds good advice!

Tbh I think you’d be better off with a dog sitter at your home rather than sending the dog away at all.

It all smacks of wanting the dog out of the way now that there will be a baby, which is very sad.

Your DH will have plenty of time to care for the dog whilst he’s on paternity leave and you are recovering.

Wow, OP is getting a hard time here.

@Oli16 - you’ll be fine while DH drives to meet your in-laws half way. Even if you go into labour while he’s away (which is very unlikely) he will have plenty of time to come back. If it makes you feel better, can you have a friend over while he’s doing that? Or you might want to have some taxi numbers handy if you need to go to the hospital urgently.

I’m not sure why people are attacking you for sending the dog to the in-laws. Surely it’s perfectly normal to take care of a pet of a close family member during holidays or hospital stays. We did the same when I was giving birth. I don’t think it would be easy to arrange a pet sitter or kennels for birth. Where I live, most get booked up months in advance for summer holidays. You don’t know exactly when the baby will come so the pet sitter would need to be willing to commit to unspecified days at some point in the future.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

This !!!