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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Retired in laws won’t come pick up dog before my due date

292 replies

Oli16 · 13/07/2025 22:00

I’m due on the 12th August with my DH first baby, we have a 5 year old staffy who we love and have agreed with my in laws that they will kindly look after him for the first couple of weeks whilst me and my partner settle in with our newborn at home. We then plan to introduce dog and baby when we’ve settled in a little bit with baby at home just us two (our dog is lovely but requires a lot of attention!)

My partner tonight said his parents “aren’t keen” on driving to London to come and pick up our dog (they live up north 4.5 hour drive each way) so want my partner to drive halfway to meet them to drop the dog off but this would be 9 days before my due date - which makes me VERY nervous that DH might be driving on the motorway whilst I might go into labour…

AIBU to be stressed out that DH would be leaving to drive 4 hours away 9 days before my due date? AIBU to be annoyed that my retired in laws won’t offer to come down to us, stay over and take the dog back with them?

OP posts:
Kleptronic · 13/07/2025 23:07

@Oli16 your dog knows you are pregnant and won't be surprised if you go away for a couple of days and come back with a baby. I understand you're nervous about how your dog will be when the baby's here. Nobody knows, ultimately sentient beings can be unpredictable. However, I think your dog will be more likely to he unpredictable hav

lnks · 13/07/2025 23:07

Oh, you’re one of those.

Kleptronic · 13/07/2025 23:08

Sorry posted too soon. Having been away for two weeks. I reckon the get dog walkers in plan is better. And play babies crying soundtracks, that kind of thing.

doodleygirl · 13/07/2025 23:10

My DD had her gorgeous boy last August, they also have a dog. Dog stayed with me when she went into labour, when he was born I visited and brought back a muslin with his scent on, put it in dogs bed.

DD introduced dog as soon as she came home, and slowly let dog sniff the baby. They were very careful to make sure dog was and is not left alone with he baby. 11 months later and all is going well.

Hope it goes well for you.

Kleptronic · 13/07/2025 23:11

And baby gates etc. keep the dog away from the baby until you are certain the dog isn't stressed.

Lucyccfc68 · 13/07/2025 23:12

A 4 hour round trip isn’t a big deal, especially when your in laws are doing you a huge favour.

I did a 6 hour round trip (I drove) 6 days before my due date.

Original poster
Oli16 · 13/07/2025 23:12

Kleptronic · 13/07/2025 23:11

And baby gates etc. keep the dog away from the baby until you are certain the dog isn't stressed.

Thank you, yes we’ve installed baby gates already :)

OP posts:
Original poster
Oli16 · 13/07/2025 23:13

lnks · 13/07/2025 23:07

Oh, you’re one of those.

Not sure what you’re implying here Inks - but thanks for the useful input :)

OP posts:
Someonelookedatmypostinghistorysoichanged · 13/07/2025 23:14

Get rid of the dog
which you won’t I’m sure
so keep the dog away from the baby at all times
fuck that shit of introductions ffs
and going into labour blah ..you’ll be hours and hours

hjhjhjhjhj · 13/07/2025 23:14

Arrestedforit · 13/07/2025 22:03

Pay for an overnight dog sitter or kennel . Job done, at your convenience.

Edited

How does that help?

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 13/07/2025 23:15

You've had 5 years to train the dog!

You could start now, you have a few weeks.

Good practice for raising a child that doesn't also turn into a nightmare.

hyggetyggedotorg · 13/07/2025 23:17

Dog needs to be at home when baby arrives. You’re increasing the chances of jealousy issues by sending her away.

MalcolmMoo · 13/07/2025 23:18

This all sounds a bit ridiculous tbh. You don’t need to send the dog away for two weeks. We have two very needy dogs and they met our baby the day we came back from hospital. I would’ve missed my dogs so much if I couldn’t see them. Having a dog and newborn is fine.

The best way for dog and baby to get on is to keep everything normal! Sending a dog away for two weeks then suddenly coming back to a newborn will just build up the changes in the dogs life. Just got to keep the dogs normal routine so they don’t feel like baby has replaced them.

Im also with your in laws in that I wouldn’t want to drive 4.5 hours either to pick up a dog and go home. They’re doing you a favour!

Heyheyitsanotherday · 13/07/2025 23:19

I was worried how we’d cope with a one year old Labrador (who was mental) and I new born. But it’s really important you integrate your family from the off. We were advised from a fantastic dog trainer to bring a blanket or something the baby had on in hospital for our dog to sniff before we arrived home. I had to stay in one night but my dh took the blanket so our dog could smell her. Then when we arrived home I came in first to fuss the dog and dh came in with the car seat. Once the dog settled we let her safely sniff the baby. And that was that. Life as normal. Highly recommend a sling for dog walks. Or a dog walker so you can have a few hours chill time. But if I were you I wouldn’t send your dog away. Even if your in-laws were accommodating. Good luck op.

JollyHostess101 · 13/07/2025 23:21

My laws came to ours to dog sit from Yorkshire and dropped everything when I had to go in to be induced we’d of never sent the dog to them!

Contrary to opinions it was a godsend to have them with us for the first few days to walk him and general be an extra pair of hands, making food etc it was a very special time! Could you do that?

And our dog had his own issues we’ve worked hard on and is a bit mental but he’s amazing with our little girl….. not that we leave them unattended. He still has his issues but not with her!

Original poster
Oli16 · 13/07/2025 23:21

Heyheyitsanotherday · 13/07/2025 23:19

I was worried how we’d cope with a one year old Labrador (who was mental) and I new born. But it’s really important you integrate your family from the off. We were advised from a fantastic dog trainer to bring a blanket or something the baby had on in hospital for our dog to sniff before we arrived home. I had to stay in one night but my dh took the blanket so our dog could smell her. Then when we arrived home I came in first to fuss the dog and dh came in with the car seat. Once the dog settled we let her safely sniff the baby. And that was that. Life as normal. Highly recommend a sling for dog walks. Or a dog walker so you can have a few hours chill time. But if I were you I wouldn’t send your dog away. Even if your in-laws were accommodating. Good luck op.

Thanks! This was actually a useful comment / response so appreciate that. Good to hear how to dealt with dog & baby intro!

OP posts:
AiryFairyLights · 13/07/2025 23:23

I think you’re going about introducing the baby and dog completely wrong! That’s your dogs home and you’re sending them away and when they come back there’ll be a whole new person to get used to?! 🙄
By far the better and easier option is to keep your dog at home, invest in a couple of stair gates so dog can’t go in certain rooms and introduce from the start - instead of confusing the poor dog with all the coming and going!
Will it be hard? YES but that’s the responsibilities you take on when having animal family members and then have a baby!

Hulabalu · 13/07/2025 23:23

Arrestedforit · 13/07/2025 22:03

Pay for an overnight dog sitter or kennel . Job done, at your convenience.

Edited

No not a kennel ! Traumatic for dogs

Foodylicious · 13/07/2025 23:24

I'd hire a dog walker now and give them time to get to know the dog.
Do you have a friend or closer family member that can have dog for a couple of days or house/dog sit whist you are having the baby?

I think the dog is more likely ro be unsettled if it is sent away for a couple of weeks, then finds a new baby in the house, rather than being kept seperate in the house as needed.

Foodylicious · 13/07/2025 23:24

I'd hire a dog walker now and give them time to get to know the dog.
Do you have a friend or closer family member that can have dog for a couple of days or house/dog sit whist you are having the baby?

I think the dog is more likely ro be unsettled if it is sent away for a couple of weeks, then finds a new baby in the house, rather than being kept seperate in the house as needed.

Hulabalu · 13/07/2025 23:24

AiryFairyLights · 13/07/2025 23:23

I think you’re going about introducing the baby and dog completely wrong! That’s your dogs home and you’re sending them away and when they come back there’ll be a whole new person to get used to?! 🙄
By far the better and easier option is to keep your dog at home, invest in a couple of stair gates so dog can’t go in certain rooms and introduce from the start - instead of confusing the poor dog with all the coming and going!
Will it be hard? YES but that’s the responsibilities you take on when having animal family members and then have a baby!

I agree this is the best way
don’t send the poor dog away
you might create issues

lalalalalady · 13/07/2025 23:24

I think it’s generous of them to even offer meeting half way! 9 hr round trip is ridiculous to take your dog.

HappyDreamer · 13/07/2025 23:25

I was 4 days early and my partner was working 4.5 hours away and he did miss it by 20 minutes 🙈 if he was 2 hours away I’m pretty sure he would make it in time

Selfsetfree · 13/07/2025 23:25

This may not help but our dog was at home and dh took baby clothes etc home so the dog got used to the babies scent. Dog was always protective of the baby even though a rescue. As for dh being so far away I wouldn’t worry it’s not that far. I think you’re overthinking a few things.

chunkybear · 13/07/2025 23:28

You need to just dig proof the rooms, is be disinclined to send the piecing away as it'll get jealous when it returns