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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dd(10) uninvited from party

613 replies

freddiewini · 13/07/2025 18:56

Dd (10) was invited to a girl in her classes leavers party after their last day. She’s not best friends with this girl, just friends but she was excited. All the girls invited( only 8 in total ) some of the boys.

She has now been uninvited because the boy the girl fancies told his friends he fancies dd. Dd doesn’t even like this boy or care about boys in general (thank god) But the girl doesn’t want dd at her party because he will be there. Dd has since been called names and been made fun of by this girl at school.

Her mums answer when I queried was just sorry but you know what girls that age are like when it comes to boys.

I would be unreasonable to let dd have her own party here wouldnt I? Dds best friends mum is encouraging me to. We have more room and a swimming pool and I know dd is generally more liked, girl has history of being mean and upsetting people.
What if we have it this weekend, (they breakup Tuesday after) inviting the other girls but obviously not the one who’s been mean to her? I

OP posts:
KeepCalmAndPretendItIsOnTheLessonPlan · 13/07/2025 19:04

I think that would come under reaping what you sow and might be a decent lesson to both the girl and her mum.
I'd also prepare yourself for a text message from said mum, at which point you shorten your reply to: Sorry, I'm sure you know what girls that age are like when it comes to being hurt and humiliated in class.
As an aside, it is damned scary how many young girls are seeking validation from boys so early. I think the modern parlance is thirsty but good God, TikToks should be banned.

MsJemimaPuddleDuck · 13/07/2025 19:06

Do it. Your teaching the girl & her mother a valuable lesson here that its not nice to be mean. Her mother obviously isnt teaching her.

ncduetooutingsituation · 13/07/2025 19:06

Yes. Do it!

Overthebow · 13/07/2025 19:07

Absolutely go ahead and do it.

GrannyGoggles · 13/07/2025 19:07

Don’t. Go high, not low

BoredZelda · 13/07/2025 19:09

Bigger, better party for sure. Inconspicuously so. I’d go full on petty with this one and if the mother complains “well, you know what girls are like with parties nowadays”

And raise the name calling with the school.

BoredZelda · 13/07/2025 19:10

GrannyGoggles · 13/07/2025 19:07

Don’t. Go high, not low

How does that help her daughter?

Original poster
freddiewini · 13/07/2025 19:10

Oh wow, I was expecting it to be a resounding no.

I really really want to, I don’t want dd to be upset and excluded but I don’t know if I can let her be the mean girl excluding someone else and making them upset

OP posts:
Disturbia81 · 13/07/2025 19:11

In this case I say go for it. Petty is usually undignified but DD has been shittily uninvited for a reason that isn’t her fault, and is pathetic. It’ll be a good lesson.

MsJemimaPuddleDuck · 13/07/2025 19:12

freddiewini · 13/07/2025 19:10

Oh wow, I was expecting it to be a resounding no.

I really really want to, I don’t want dd to be upset and excluded but I don’t know if I can let her be the mean girl excluding someone else and making them upset

Well… that girl doesnt care about your daughter so why should you?

SordidSplendour · 13/07/2025 19:12

Absolutely do. This other girl is getting set up to be a man centered woman which is tragic.

alcoholnightmare · 13/07/2025 19:12

Do it. And get takeaway pizzas delivered!

murasaki · 13/07/2025 19:13

Another vote for do it.

User37482 · 13/07/2025 19:13

Yeah I think it’s fine, it’s not on the same day but why shouldn’t your DD have a leaving do herself.

MyCyanReader · 13/07/2025 19:13

I wouldn't lower yourself and your DD to their level.

What a horrible thing for this girl to do.

I'd have the party but also invite this girl just to show that your DD isn't a bitch like she is.

If she's friends with this boy she perhaps could contact him and point out itw ridiculous she has been uninvited because APPARENTLY he fancies her and jokingly blame him for her uninvite!

doggydaydreams · 13/07/2025 19:15

Do it, And if the mum asks why just say ‘oh you know what girls are like at this age’

MondayYogurt · 13/07/2025 19:15

I don’t see the point of owning a pool if the kids don’t get to throw pool parties at every excuse.

PinkGlitterNails · 13/07/2025 19:15

I was going to say do it but actually, it’s teaching your DD to be a mean girl and exclude someone. Have the party and invite the other girl, then you have the moral high ground. She/her mother can choose whether or not she attends.

doneandone · 13/07/2025 19:15

Definitely do it! Why should your dd lose out on a leaving party because the mean girl. Let dd invite who she wants to

itsgettingweird · 13/07/2025 19:16

Oh yes definitely host a pool party.

On would advertise it as that too.

and a bbq and chocolate fountain.

Love the idea to reply with “well you know what girls who’s age are like” of the other mum gets shirty.

flumposie · 13/07/2025 19:16

Do it.

MissFahrenheit · 13/07/2025 19:16

Do it. Your DD currently has no leavers party to go to, why should she miss out.

Huggersunite · 13/07/2025 19:16

As long as they don’t clash, because that would be a bit spiteful, I absolutely would do it.

Trallers · 13/07/2025 19:16

When the mum replied is it clear she knows exactly why the invitation was rescinded? I.e her dd is excluding your dd because a boy apparently fancies her? I'd want to be sure she has the full story and isn't just thinking they fell out and thus "you know what girls this age are like". But if she know and is supporting that behviour then that's dreadful and you should let dd have her best friend and others round for a party.

Wadadli · 13/07/2025 19:18

KeepCalmAndPretendItIsOnTheLessonPlan · 13/07/2025 19:04

I think that would come under reaping what you sow and might be a decent lesson to both the girl and her mum.
I'd also prepare yourself for a text message from said mum, at which point you shorten your reply to: Sorry, I'm sure you know what girls that age are like when it comes to being hurt and humiliated in class.
As an aside, it is damned scary how many young girls are seeking validation from boys so early. I think the modern parlance is thirsty but good God, TikToks should be banned.

First post calls it. This will teach mother and child a lesson 🤣

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