Dd(10) uninvited from party

[freddiewini]

Dd (10) was invited to a girl in her classes leavers party after their last day. She’s not best friends with this girl, just friends but she was excited. All the girls invited( only 8 in total ) some of the boys.

She has now been uninvited because the boy the girl fancies told his friends he fancies dd. Dd doesn’t even like this boy or care about boys in general (thank god) But the girl doesn’t want dd at her party because he will be there. Dd has since been called names and been made fun of by this girl at school.

Her mums answer when I queried was just sorry but you know what girls that age are like when it comes to boys.

I would be unreasonable to let dd have her own party here wouldnt I? Dds best friends mum is encouraging me to. We have more room and a swimming pool and I know dd is generally more liked, girl has history of being mean and upsetting people.
What if we have it this weekend, (they breakup Tuesday after) inviting the other girls but obviously not the one who’s been mean to her? I

Absolutely fine to host your own party do it! But not on the same day as the other Girl that is starting war

OP already said that the party would be on a different day.

100% definitely & make cool mocktails & order pizzas

I’d go with your initial gut feeling: don’t do it. Teach your dau to be a nice person. She has been wronged, talk to her about that, give her confidence about her looks and self. Don’t respond by excluding another child from your party.

Did you invite the boy in question? I hope not.

I'm someone who always used to 'go high' and 'take the moral highground'. Do you know what it did? It taught certain people around me that it's ok to treat me like shit without any repecussions. What it didn't do is make me look like the better person, and it certainly didn't make anyone admire me for my strength of character or any rubbish like that. I just attracted arseholes who treated me like dirt while their lives carried on as normal, with no push back.

NO ONE who chooses to be mean to others reflects on their own behaviour and says, 'Oh wow, I've been awful to that person but they've been so kind back to me, it's really made me think and I need to start being a better person so I can be more like them."

OP, you're teaching your daughter to assert boundaries early and that's a good thing. I didn't learn to do so until my 40s.

If he's part of the daughter's friendship group then he shouldn't be left out. OP has said that only those boys who are her daughters friends are being invited.

If he's a member of the friendship group, leaving him out would be punishing him.

Have the party. Dont let your DD rub the other girl's nose in it. Just have some of her friends round to play in the pool etc.

If anything is said then you reply that obviously the girls don't get on so why would the other girl want to come round?

I think the party's been and gone by now.

The OP has already said she's not holding it the same day?

It's been and gone weeks ago now. In two weeks the schools are back!

Do you know, you're quite odd!

😂You can tell I'm not on here much! Thanks for update!