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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dd(10) uninvited from party

613 replies

freddiewini · 13/07/2025 18:56

Dd (10) was invited to a girl in her classes leavers party after their last day. She’s not best friends with this girl, just friends but she was excited. All the girls invited( only 8 in total ) some of the boys.

She has now been uninvited because the boy the girl fancies told his friends he fancies dd. Dd doesn’t even like this boy or care about boys in general (thank god) But the girl doesn’t want dd at her party because he will be there. Dd has since been called names and been made fun of by this girl at school.

Her mums answer when I queried was just sorry but you know what girls that age are like when it comes to boys.

I would be unreasonable to let dd have her own party here wouldnt I? Dds best friends mum is encouraging me to. We have more room and a swimming pool and I know dd is generally more liked, girl has history of being mean and upsetting people.
What if we have it this weekend, (they breakup Tuesday after) inviting the other girls but obviously not the one who’s been mean to her? I

OP posts:
Growuppeople · 13/07/2025 19:32

Please just do it!

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 13/07/2025 19:34

I would.
Fuck the moral highground.

BunnyLake · 13/07/2025 19:34

Personally I wouldn’t as you and your dd will be behaving exactly the same as them.

Coconutter24 · 13/07/2025 19:34

freddiewini · 13/07/2025 19:24

Was the original idea is that they would, being a leavers party after the the last day of school.

Show quote history

And what if the girls that had planned to go to the other girls party still go there, then your DD has a party and no friends…. Unless you plan to invite different guests?

Givenupshopping · 13/07/2025 19:35

Yep! Another vote for go for it! Maybe this will teach the mean girl a valuable lesson BEFORE she becomes a NASTY teenager!

Viviennemary · 13/07/2025 19:35

That is incredibly rude and mean of them to uninvite your DD. I agree throw a party if you like. Girls of that age and all that.

OurBeautifulBaby · 13/07/2025 19:36

I would have the party.

There was multiple leavers parties when my child left school.

Pigmoondotcom · 13/07/2025 19:36

As long as it’s not on the same day, then I don’t think not inviting the girl is behaving in the same way at all. Behaving in the same way would be inviting her, then uninviting her and then bullying her in the playground?

Madisnttheword · 13/07/2025 19:36

Sorry, completely not the point of the thread but where do you live that a 10 year old is leaving primary school?

PopThatBench · 13/07/2025 19:37

freddiewini · 13/07/2025 19:24

Was the original idea is that they would, being a leavers party after the the last day of school.

Show quote history

I’d hold the party, 100%.
As a back-up, prepare your DD in a “we’ll have our own party but don’t worry if they don’t turn up, they might have already said yes to the other party” just to soften the blow in case the other kids/their parents make them stick to the commitment of the first party.

I wouldn’t even call this spite or revenge, your DD has been uninvited because of the most ridiculous reason for a 10 year-old. This is, if anything, a lesson to your DD that her Mum has got her back.

BunnyLake · 13/07/2025 19:37

freddiewini · 13/07/2025 19:24

Was the original idea is that they would, being a leavers party after the the last day of school.

Show quote history

You were planning to hold a rival party on the same day or have I (hopefully) interpreted that wrong?

WimpoleHat · 13/07/2025 19:38

Oh - but it’s not a party. It’s so hot - and you thought it might be nice to ask a few kids to come and have a swim while DD is at a loose end….

PinkGlitterNails · 13/07/2025 19:38

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 13/07/2025 19:34

I would.
Fuck the moral highground.

I think it’s an important life lesson that the young girl doesn’t need to get petty revenge every time she’s wronged. If this was my DD I would have the party on a different day and tell her she can invite whoever she wants to. If she doesn’t want to invite the mean girl, she’s old enough to make that decision.

Itisjustmyopinion · 13/07/2025 19:38

freddiewini · 13/07/2025 19:24

Was the original idea is that they would, being a leavers party after the the last day of school.

Show quote history

Do you want to teach your DD to be spiteful as that is exactly what you would be doing if you went ahead with your revenge plan

You don’t sound old or mature enough to have a child at all never mind one having a leavers party

PopThatBench · 13/07/2025 19:38

Madisnttheword · 13/07/2025 19:36

Sorry, completely not the point of the thread but where do you live that a 10 year old is leaving primary school?

I took it as the 10 year-old won’t turn 11 until the summer holidays.
My SIL’s birthday is late-August so was always the youngest in her class 😅

BunnyLake · 13/07/2025 19:39

PopThatBench · 13/07/2025 19:37

I’d hold the party, 100%.
As a back-up, prepare your DD in a “we’ll have our own party but don’t worry if they don’t turn up, they might have already said yes to the other party” just to soften the blow in case the other kids/their parents make them stick to the commitment of the first party.

I wouldn’t even call this spite or revenge, your DD has been uninvited because of the most ridiculous reason for a 10 year-old. This is, if anything, a lesson to your DD that her Mum has got her back.

Show quote history

So no one turns up at the pool party and OP’s dd won’t be upset by that or feel ten times worse?

ViperHalliwell · 13/07/2025 19:40

I would take my DC out for the day and not be drawn into an American teen drama situation.

On Gossip Girl, they DO have the party on the same day but they invite the frenemy and explain to her that they know she'll be at loose ands because no one is going to her party anymore. Then they spike her drink with Nair and pour it over her head.

Seriously, I wouldn't do it the same day as the other party because it puts the other children in an awkward position that they're probably not prepared for at 10 when they have done nothing wrong. Do something nice with your daughter that day, and then have her party another day soon. And DON'T invite the other party girl. First, you're doing it to cheer up your daughter so why would you invite the person who upset her? And second, she's told your daughter she doesn't want her company, so fair to assume she won't want to come to her party.

SilverHammer · 13/07/2025 19:40

Something similar happened to my granddaughter. When it was her party (some time after) the mother of the girl actually messaged my daughter to find out why her daughter wasn't invited! The cheek of some people.

Mumofteenandtween · 13/07/2025 19:40

Madisnttheword · 13/07/2025 19:36

Sorry, completely not the point of the thread but where do you live that a 10 year old is leaving primary school?

How to say “none of my family were born in August” without actually saying it. 😉

I’m with everyone else. Yes to party, no to invite of Mean Girl, no to same day.

Tiswa · 13/07/2025 19:41

Coconutter24 · 13/07/2025 19:34

And what if the girls that had planned to go to the other girls party still go there, then your DD has a party and no friends…. Unless you plan to invite different guests?

Show quote history

Yes and it is a very tricky game to play the line between it working and backfiring is a thin one.

it is just as likely others could be scared of this girl is she a mean girl in the proper sense or not

so the actual question is how is high school working is she with this girl?

Madisnttheword · 13/07/2025 19:41

PopThatBench · 13/07/2025 19:38

I took it as the 10 year-old won’t turn 11 until the summer holidays.
My SIL’s birthday is late-August so was always the youngest in her class 😅

Show quote history

Oh okay. Must be different in northern Ireland. The cut off point is June 30th so someone with an August birthday would have been one of the eldest in the class

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 13/07/2025 19:41

I would have the party and not invite the mean girl but definitely not at the same time. Other than it being a bit mean in itself your daughter is going to feel even worse if nobody turns up because they’re all at the other party.

PopThatBench · 13/07/2025 19:42

BunnyLake · 13/07/2025 19:39

So no one turns up at the pool party and OP’s dd won’t be upset by that or feel ten times worse?

Show quote history

It depends on the DD I guess?
I’d definitely hold a party for my daughter in these circumstances, with the idea that it’s so my daughter has a fun party even if it’s just with family and if any friends turn up it’s a bonus.
My DD (only 8) would still love to have a fun time with family/cousins etc.

BunnyLake · 13/07/2025 19:42

Some people watch too many US tween/teen dramas. Gleefully setting up rival
parties on the same day. Sheesh.

SquallyShowersLater · 13/07/2025 19:43

I'd be tempted to do it, but could you be sure that enough other children would come? How many do you think would choose your DD's party over one they've already RSVPed to? If it were my child I'd say 'sorry but you can't just drop out because you've had a better offer. It's rude.'