To tell a child-free friend not to bring a vegan meal to my BBQ?

[BBQDramaQueen]

Hosting a casual family BBQ next wknd, mostly neighbours, school mums, a few mates, nothing fancy. Got the usual sausages, burgers, chicken etc. One of my oldest friends (childfree, v into animal rights, been vegan since forever, v vocal about it) asked if she can bring her own food. I said yeah fine, no biggie.

DH now saying it’s actually rude of her and it’ll put ppl off eating their food if she’s sat there going on about lentil sausages and dead animals (his words not mine lol). He reckons if we’re hosting, she should just eat what’s provided or not come. I said she obviously can’t eat what’s provided and she wasn’t making a fuss, just asked. He thinks I should message and say no now.

Tbh she can be a bit preachy but I’d rather that than her not come. Also not sure why anyone else would care what she’s eating unless they’re being nosy? But now I’m wondering if I was too quick to say yes.

AIBU to let her bring her own food? Or is DH right that I should’ve said no and it’s a bit off to bring your own stuff to a BBQ if you don’t have allergies etc?

Your Dh is a dick.

YABU based on your title, YANBU based on the question at the end of your post (they're contradictory). She should be able to bring her own food.
What does her childfree status have to do with anything though?

Why is her being child free relevant?

What if it’s an allergy? Would your DH have the same opinion?

I think it’s lovely she’s offered to bring her own food, providing she doesn’t push her opinons on someone else I don’t see the problem?

Also as a host you should be proving food everyone can eat, she shouldn’t have to bring her own.

Of course it’s fine for her to bring her own unless you are going to cater for her (which as she’s a guest I would).

She sounds lovely - not even expecting you to cater for her dietary needs.

Your Dh is completely unreasonable. If you want her there, then let her bring her own food, or in your shoes, I’d provide food for her and cook it separately, of course. Will she be preachy? I’d shut that down, she must be aware that a bbq will obviously involve meat for most people!

What’s her being childfree got to do with anything?

You should cater for her with appropriate vegan food if you’ve invited her to your home. No one should have to bring their own food to a bbq.

This

Why don’t you just send her a message saying I hate you and be done with it?

Your DH is a total arsehole

as host you should cater for her

ask her not to preach

child-free is not relevant

Your DH is mad.

If she guninely is preachy at social events just tell her not to be.

But still invite her.

She should be allowed to have vegan food. However if she’s the type to start banging on about eating rotten flesh I wouldn’t want her there because she would just be a total mood killer.

Being child free is irrelevant.

And your husband is a dick.

Not sure why her being child free makes any difference but your DH sounds like a right twat.

The only person being unreasonable is your husband, he sounds awful (I’m a meat eater and not keen on vegan preaching, so no bias here).

If I was her and knew your DH was a dick about my dietary choices, I wouldn't trust any food cooked by you not to be fucked with by him. It's happened to me before where relatives and friends of friends have thought it was the funniest thing ever to feed me milk. Along with the "what are your shoes made of then" comments that aren't ever the gotcha people think they are.

Why aren’t you providing vegan food if you’re inviting someone you know is vegan?

if you don’t want to, then of course you should let her bring her own food.

Nothing wrong with wanting to bring her own food at all. Means far less hassle for you too.
Is your DH assuming she will be preaching to people about veganism? TBH, I reckon he will be the one talking about bacon and dangling sausages in her face.

Your DH is embarrassingly stupid.

However if your friend has form for banging on about animals when people are eating meat, you'll have to tell her that the invitation is being given with the proviso that she packs that rude shit in.

I cannot believe your thread isn’t about how awful your husband is!

Your husband sounds like an absolute prick and you sound like a shit host. Why wouldn't you already be catering for someone you know is vegan?

I'd have no problem with her bringing her own food but I would be asking her to give the lectures a skip or to skip the event