Boyfriend sharing hotel room for two nights with female "friend"

[Challenger2A7]

I'm 23, and my boyfriend of 3 years has just spent two nights in a London hotel with a woman he says is just a friend. They were going to a big concert together, and she's 44. I don't like this, and I didn't know about it until now. He says it was just to save money. The woman has been married for 20 years, but I don't know what her husband thinks, or if he even knows or cares, but AIBU to wonder if my boyfriend really thinks anything of me? I should add that they shared a twin-bedded room.

This. Men will try it on with any woman they can as long as they aren’t repulsed by her.

I don’t buy any of this ‘you can share a hotel room and be platonic’ stuff. If one person is in a relationship then it’s crossing a boundary anyway.

Of course you can share a hotel room and be platonic, if that’s how your friendship is.

How often though? 🙄

Fat women aren’t less worthy of or capable of compelling attraction because they’re fat. Very tired narrative.

but yes. Dump him.

I might be going against the grain but I doubt anything happened. Life isn’t a porno

If i was sharing a room with a bloke, id probably try to fuck him....just saying.....

Nah that’s weird!! Not that I think anything happened but the fact he hid it from you, that’s weird

Half a decade?

If you were bothered enough to read the whole thread you would see I corrected my error and save yourself the hassle.

Absolutely this.
My daughter is currently away with 3 college friends, all girls, and was stressing about the room sharing aspect as they've never had that sort of sleepovers type relationship.
And I recently shared a room with a very old friend who moved to Canada 20 years ago. We did have that sort of relationship. We were flatmates and have shared rooms and beds in all manner of places in our 20s and 30s and it still felt weird.

Any bloke? 😂

But why? Why can't women have men friends? Why does everything have to be sexualised? Why does sharing a hotel room or even bed if needed mean sex? I do have men friends and I would be no more willing to sleep with them than i would a woman friend.
I completely agree he's in the wrong because he kept it secret but all the other arguments I keep seeing are just wrong (from my perspective). I do think that we seem to forget we all have different opinions and there are a lot of valid points. But please dont paint us all as whores because we get on with both sexes equally

Yeah, like many on this thread, any sympathy I had for you evaporated when you chose to share that the woman in question is “fat and loud-mouthed”…he obviously enjoys her company, whether platonic or more than that. You have a hell of a lot to learn about life, how to treat other women and what to focus on. At the moment you sound naive and very, very mean.

I’ve slept in plenty of rooms with men and nothing has ever happened.

If someone wants to cheat they will, they don’t need a hotel room to do it.

The fact that he’s told you about it when he could have easily lied is a good thing.

But I still wouldn’t be comfortable with it.

I think for me it’s the fact they’re saying they want to save money - surely they can afford their own hotel room if they can afford to go to a concert.
That excuse would annoy me.

However, it depends how much you trust him.
If he’s the type to cheat, then him getting his own hotel room isn’t going to solve the problem.

Agree with this, really normal in my friendship group but no one would be hiding it.

Ha, this. Totally.

I'd be suspicious.

My late husband left his first wife after she shared a room with a younger male colleague on a staff teambuilding trip. There weren't enough rooms to go round, apparently, and they agreed to share.

She later said that nothing had happened, but she'd wanted it to. That was enough for DH - the bloke concerned had supposedly been 'just a friend' for a while.

Jeez op. Fat people can be attractive too you know 🙄

I have shared hotel rooms with male friends before, when we've been to gigs or on holidays etc, as it's cheaper. Nothing untoward ever took place - most of my friends are male, so it's something I have to do unless I want to pay for a whole room to myself.

Since getting with DP 8 years ago, I no longer do that, out of respect for him. I know I wouldn't like it if it was the other way, so even though I know there's nothing happening, I still would never do it now.

Your partner should have the same respect for you.

Iv been celibate for three years.😣

id hope he wasnt in a relationship however...

I’ve shared hotel rooms with male friends before to save money. I think it’s weird to query it you either trust someone or don’t.

"She's fat and loud-mouthed, but I don't think men care all that much, if she's available for sex."

That's a dreadful generalisation, plenty of men are choosey.

I don't understand why she would want to share a room.

If you're very rich, you'd probably get your own room, but if not, you might well share, whether that's a male or female friend. I do have male friends, and would expect my husband to trust me. I'd rather have a partner who had female friends, as it shows he respects women as people. While there's no major age-gaps, younger people sometimes deliberately try to have friends from different age-groups-there was an article about how some like to live with elderly people and think both the older and younger person benefit from different skills/stories/life experiences.
Not that I'm calling someone 40 old!

Wow. I’ve often shared hotels rooms with colleagues and friends, of both sexes. Never even considered anyone would get worked up about this as we were friends. Luckily I don’t need to have sex with friends, they are just male and female friends.

The film ‘WhenHarry Met Sally’ did so much damage with that made up and completely inaccurate line ‘me and women can never be friends’. Bollocks. Of course they can be if they’re mature adults.

@TeatimeForTheSoul It's good to see some rational, adult thinking on here! It's disappointing to see how much lack of trust there is on here, though I suppose everyone is affected by their own experience. My own partner is quite happy for me to share a room with another man and I've had several platonic relationships with men over the years.