Page 2 | Boyfriend sharing hotel room for two nights with female "friend"

Purplecatshopaholic · 10/07/2025 05:03

Say what now? He shared a room with a female and didn’t mention it until after? So he knew it wasn’t on or he would have mentioned it at the time. I would not be happy with this. Not at all. What else is he doing and not telling you about?

reversegear · 10/07/2025 05:15

I'm married and 50 and have a male friend who is 34, and have been away to concerts as we have a shared interest in music, we have on 2 occasions shared a room, twin beds and both made sure our respective other halves knew…. The ages etc to my mind are not the important part it’s the fact he didn’t tell you, that would be a huge red flag for me.

myfriendsfamily · 10/07/2025 05:21

I wouldn’t even hesitate, I’d be leaving him immediately. If this was me, not telling me until after the fact is enough for me to feel disrespected, never mind if something else happened, which is very likely.

Secretsquirels · 10/07/2025 05:26

I would share a twin room with a close male friend without worrying about it, and without having sex with him quite happily.

But if we were that close, I would know his girlfriend of three years really well. So she wouldn’t be worried about this.

im not sure how it’s possible that they’re close enough to platonically share a hotel room, but not close enough for you to know her well. That feels like a weird disconnect.

MsDogLady · 10/07/2025 05:33

I don’t like this and I didn’t know about it until now.

@Challenger2A7, he intentionally lied by omission. His plan has been in the works for a while, but he kept it a secret until now, after the fact. He prioritized spending time with this woman at the hotel and concert over honesty, transparency and respect for you.

You deserve much better, @Challenger2A7. It would be game over for me.

Francestein · 10/07/2025 05:45

If it was above board, why keep it secret until now?

Zanatdy · 10/07/2025 05:49

I think most people would be uncomfortable with this, especially the secrecy. What’s the history between them?

TheJinxMinx · 10/07/2025 05:51

I mean London hotel prices can be extortionate especially if there's a "big gig" on so may have been done to save money its not unreasonable but what is unreasonable is the fact it was kept a secret and you only found out AFTER it happened. Very strange 🤔 what age is your bf? How does he know the woman? And mainly why didn't it cross his mind to tell you beforehand!!

Wearingmycrown · 10/07/2025 06:10

It’s a big no for me. No way would my partner share a room & maybe I’m extreme but no way would he attend a concert with another woman who wasn’t family & spend the best part of 3 days away either.

sameshizz · 10/07/2025 06:13

Have you ever met her?
What’s the back story?

Morry15 · 10/07/2025 06:29

Ah...I had one of those. The female friend that he went to concerts with, sporting events with etc. and the only reason they were sharing a hotel room was due to cost.
I was told repeatedly I had nothing to worry about as she was also married and that 'she's just a good friend'

Fast forward....guess who are now a couple.

Katemax82 · 10/07/2025 06:35

Hmm, I'm 43 ans married id never sleep with a 23 year old

cariadlet · 10/07/2025 06:36

I once went away for a for a few days with a male friend. We shared a twin room in a b&b, taking in turns to go into the bathroom to get changed.

The difference from your situation is that my partner knew and liked my male friend and I asked if he was ok with the situation before we booked anything.

It's the lack of openess which would concern me.

babyproblems · 10/07/2025 06:44

Agree it’s very wierd. It’s inappropriate and I expect her husband wouldn’t be keen either!!!

savagedaughter · 10/07/2025 06:44

Challenger2A7 · 10/07/2025 02:18

I'm 23, and my boyfriend of 3 years has just spent two nights in a London hotel with a woman he says is just a friend. They were going to a big concert together, and she's 44. I don't like this, and I didn't know about it until now. He says it was just to save money. The woman has been married for 20 years, but I don't know what her husband thinks, or if he even knows or cares, but AIBU to wonder if my boyfriend really thinks anything of me? I should add that they shared a twin-bedded room.

Extremely fucking weird and NOT just because he didn't tell you about it, it should not have happened at all, though him hiding proves he knew it was completely unacceptable.

I haven't read the thread, but will assume there are the usual cool girl pickmeishas swarming, desperate to minimise unacceptable male behaviour.

These are the ones who always react to being called cool girl pickmeishas by shrieking "misogineeeeeee!".

To be clear, being a cool girl pickmeisha is the living, breathing personification of misogyny, and calling these manpandering twits out on its is the exact opposite.

Cool girl pickmeishas generally hate women having boundaries and not being doormats and they particularly loathe that normal women who do have boundaries and are not doormats have sussed them out and labelled them as cool girls and pickmeishas and never listen to their minimising manpandering shit 😘

Anyone in your life or online pretending this is normal or ok can be safely ignored, is the point. You know it's shit, he knows it's shit, we all know it's shit.

He's a sneaky arsehole, you can do better.

MyDeftDuck · 10/07/2025 06:50

Did he tell you this…….
or did you find out by chance?
This fact would make a huge difference to me but I’d be pissed off either way

KPPlumbing · 10/07/2025 06:53

savagedaughter · 10/07/2025 06:44

Extremely fucking weird and NOT just because he didn't tell you about it, it should not have happened at all, though him hiding proves he knew it was completely unacceptable.

I haven't read the thread, but will assume there are the usual cool girl pickmeishas swarming, desperate to minimise unacceptable male behaviour.

These are the ones who always react to being called cool girl pickmeishas by shrieking "misogineeeeeee!".

To be clear, being a cool girl pickmeisha is the living, breathing personification of misogyny, and calling these manpandering twits out on its is the exact opposite.

Cool girl pickmeishas generally hate women having boundaries and not being doormats and they particularly loathe that normal women who do have boundaries and are not doormats have sussed them out and labelled them as cool girls and pickmeishas and never listen to their minimising manpandering shit 😘

Anyone in your life or online pretending this is normal or ok can be safely ignored, is the point. You know it's shit, he knows it's shit, we all know it's shit.

He's a sneaky arsehole, you can do better.

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Most people have said the boyfriend's behaviour is unacceptable.

Instead of making up stupid new derogatory slurs to throw at women (showing yourself to be misogynistic in the process), you might like to just...read the thread.

NerrSnerr · 10/07/2025 06:58

savagedaughter · 10/07/2025 06:44

Extremely fucking weird and NOT just because he didn't tell you about it, it should not have happened at all, though him hiding proves he knew it was completely unacceptable.

I haven't read the thread, but will assume there are the usual cool girl pickmeishas swarming, desperate to minimise unacceptable male behaviour.

These are the ones who always react to being called cool girl pickmeishas by shrieking "misogineeeeeee!".

To be clear, being a cool girl pickmeisha is the living, breathing personification of misogyny, and calling these manpandering twits out on its is the exact opposite.

Cool girl pickmeishas generally hate women having boundaries and not being doormats and they particularly loathe that normal women who do have boundaries and are not doormats have sussed them out and labelled them as cool girls and pickmeishas and never listen to their minimising manpandering shit 😘

Anyone in your life or online pretending this is normal or ok can be safely ignored, is the point. You know it's shit, he knows it's shit, we all know it's shit.

He's a sneaky arsehole, you can do better.

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Agree with the above poster. Pretty much everyone has said they wouldn’t be happy with this. It would have been quicker to read the thread instead of writing the long reply assuming what the responses would be.

Flamingoknees · 10/07/2025 06:59

How old is he? How did they becoe friends? How did you find out? You are young - just move on.

Sevenamcoffee · 10/07/2025 07:24

If an unrelated 20 something man wanted to spend time with me and share a hotel room I’d be thinking he had a fetish for older women.

Thaawtsom · 10/07/2025 07:27

cariadlet · 10/07/2025 06:36

I once went away for a for a few days with a male friend. We shared a twin room in a b&b, taking in turns to go into the bathroom to get changed.

The difference from your situation is that my partner knew and liked my male friend and I asked if he was ok with the situation before we booked anything.

It's the lack of openess which would concern me.

Exactly this. Sharing a room is not the issue. It's the secrecy that is problematic. And as another PP said -- if he's close enough friends with this woman to share a room with when they do stuff together, then you should also know her v well IMO (or at least well enough to not be concerned about it!).

Electrictooth · 10/07/2025 07:39

No idea whether this is innocent or not but it’s not 100% guaranteed dodgy. A few years back I went to a gig with a male friend. Both he and I were in relationships at the time, and shared a hotel room for two nights. Nothing untoward occurred, despite booze being involved. We got dressed and showered etc in the bathroom while the other was in the bedroom.

Lostworlds · 10/07/2025 07:42

I agree with others, if it was innocent and he had nothing to worry about then why wouldn’t he tell you in advance?

12three · 10/07/2025 07:45

One night for a concert at 23yo with any random-ish person as a last min arrangement I can understand. Why did they need three nights?

Beeloux · 10/07/2025 07:48

Unacceptable!
I’ve been in situations when I was young (and single!) where I’ve shared rooms with male friends. They’ve always tried it on one way or another.

The fact he’s hidden it from you speaks volumes. If you were to share a hotel room imagine his response. I can imagine he would be furious as he knows as a man himself how men work.