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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep DS off school tomorrow after classmate’s seizure?

208 replies

Grey0 · 09/07/2025 20:07

DS (14) had quite a distressing experience at school today and I’m unsure what to do for tomorrow. Would appreciate some thoughts.

On the way back from PE to their next lesson, one of DS’s classmates (not a close friend, just someone in his year group) had a seizure. They were still outside at the time. DS was with a couple of others when it happened. He’s been volunteering with St John’s Ambulance and said he recognised it straight away. He put his jacket under the boy’s head, made sure he was safe etc, but said the boy hit his head as he went down and later cut his lip during a second seizure. Other friends ran to get a teacher and they ended up calling an ambulance.

DS went on to his next lesson after giving his account but he’s come home really quiet and clearly a bit shaken. He’s not normally one for drama or fuss so it’s unusual for him to be this subdued. He keeps going over it in his head and saying he’s not sure if he did enough or did the right thing (even though it sounds like he did brilliantly under the circumstances).

He’s not close to the boy but obviously it was a lot to witness. WIBU to keep him off school tomorrow so he can decompress a bit? Or is that an overreaction? I just feel like he’s still processing it all.

OP posts:
youreactinglikeafunmum · 09/07/2025 20:09

Well done to your ds - its so tough in that situation for anyone, let alone someone so young!

Hope the kid is okay

I don't think youd be unreasonable at all x

outerspacepotato · 09/07/2025 20:09

Overreaction. He shouldn't be kept home because someone had a health incident.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 09/07/2025 20:10

That would be a huge overreaction. He doesn’t need a day off to ‘decompress’. Reassure him he did a great job and move on.

ShesTheAlbatross · 09/07/2025 20:10

Personally, yes I think that sounds like a bit of an overreaction.

TeaandHobnobs · 09/07/2025 20:11

I think your DS did an amazing job! But I wouldn’t keep him home tomorrow - I would email his Head of Year and maybe whoever is responsible for welfare and ask them to check in on him, but I think keeping him home will just allow him to continue dwelling on it, which actually could be counterproductive for being able to process and move on.

GretaGip · 09/07/2025 20:12

If you'd have put a poll on this I think it'd be 99% YABU

Cheesetoastie7539 · 09/07/2025 20:12

My son had a very similar issue. A younger student had a seizure and my son being first aid trained did the routine aid to help etc. He carried on his day and went in the next as usual. No reason to keep him off.

mynamesnotsam · 09/07/2025 20:12

It sounds like he did brilliantly, but if you keep him off school you're making it into a bigger thing than it is. He'll have a whole day off to ruminate on it. Give him a hug and tell him you're massively proud of him. Tomorrow send him to school as usual so he'll have the distraction of friends and lessons.

Pricelessadvice · 09/07/2025 20:12

He sounds like he did fantastically well in a stressful situation. He doesn’t need a day off though!

Marmite27 · 09/07/2025 20:12

He did brilliantly well, but there’s absolutely no need to keep him at home. He’ll be better with school to distract him, rather than going over and over it in his head, which is what will likely happen if he’s at home alone stewing over it.

Focussingonme · 09/07/2025 20:12

I think send him in but mention to school he's a bit shaken - perhaps they can give an update on how the other child is now. Might also be useful for him to talk it over with his St John's ambulance teacher for some reassurance that he did enough and he did it right.

Well done to him - you should be very proud.

Givenupshopping · 09/07/2025 20:13

He'll probably be fine tomorrow, and be regaling everyone with the story of how he looked after the poor lad that had the seizure. Everyone will think he's a hero for knowing what to do. Send him in, unless he specifically says he can't face it, without you putting the idea in his head.

Currybean · 09/07/2025 20:13

Ok so Google how to talk through this experience with him and do that. Also reassure and talk through what the next steps will be for this child (ambulance , what that's like, who he will see at hospital , what they will do, bloods, EEG CT/MRI follow up)He's not going to be with st Johns ambulance long if he can't cope with that! By keeping him off you are making it all about him. It's not.

Xmasbaby11 · 09/07/2025 20:13

I wouldn’t keep him off - he’ll keep coming back to it to process it but I don’t think a day off is necessary. Best to carry on as normal and he’ll process it in his own time.

SwedishSayna · 09/07/2025 20:14

I witnessed a classmate having a seizure at primary school and it was awful and very upsetting. A day off probably isn't necessary but you know him best.

Gonk123 · 09/07/2025 20:15

Better to send him in to keep him occupied and forget about it…maybe St John’s isn’t for him…

minipie · 09/07/2025 20:15

Does your DS actually want a day off? Sounds more like that is your idea? Talk to him about it.

Sirzy · 09/07/2025 20:15

Good on him for helping but no I wouldn’t keep him off.

i would maybe email his form tutor or head of year and say he is a bit shaken by it and ask them to keep an eye on it. Being home will mean more time to overthink things!

DinaofCloud9 · 09/07/2025 20:15

He should be very proud of himself but no I don't agree he needs a day off.

I would think being with his mates carrying on as normal would be the best thing for him.

drspouse · 09/07/2025 20:16

I agree, rumination is going to be much more likely if he stays off. I bet his friends will quietly pat him on the back.
My DS has epilepsy and he only stays off the day he has a seizure if it's stopped, not the next day.

WhereAreMyKids · 09/07/2025 20:16

Honestly, don't. He'd be better having his normal routine, chatting about the situation with mates and getting out of his own head. Having a whole day to just think about it will make him worse.

Nocalmwaters · 09/07/2025 20:16

I’d also like to point out, as someone who has had two seizures, there is nothing ‘more’ he could have done. Seizures aren’t like heart attacks or choking, they happen for as long as they happen and you have no memory of them. My second seizure I bit my tounge really badly because I wasn’t in any control. Just reassure him that he made sure he was safe and that was all he could do at that point. I think he should go in tomorrow, with lots of reassurance.

Edited to add: my husband has said that the lack of control you have in that situation is awful though, you want to help but there is nothing you can do.

NoviceScoutMum · 09/07/2025 20:17

If he's a SJA volunteer, could he talk it through with one of the leaders/trainers (not.sure what they're called!)

MolkosTeenageAngst · 09/07/2025 20:17

I think it’s a bit much to keep him off because a classmate had a seizure, the classmate who had the seizure may even be back in tomorrow, I’m a teacher in a special school where a lot of students have epilepsy and if a child has a seizure it’s not often they’d take the next day off due of it.

Hattoi · 09/07/2025 20:17

mynamesnotsam · 09/07/2025 20:12

It sounds like he did brilliantly, but if you keep him off school you're making it into a bigger thing than it is. He'll have a whole day off to ruminate on it. Give him a hug and tell him you're massively proud of him. Tomorrow send him to school as usual so he'll have the distraction of friends and lessons.

This, 💯