Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep DS off school tomorrow after classmate’s seizure?

208 replies

Grey0 · 09/07/2025 20:07

DS (14) had quite a distressing experience at school today and I’m unsure what to do for tomorrow. Would appreciate some thoughts.

On the way back from PE to their next lesson, one of DS’s classmates (not a close friend, just someone in his year group) had a seizure. They were still outside at the time. DS was with a couple of others when it happened. He’s been volunteering with St John’s Ambulance and said he recognised it straight away. He put his jacket under the boy’s head, made sure he was safe etc, but said the boy hit his head as he went down and later cut his lip during a second seizure. Other friends ran to get a teacher and they ended up calling an ambulance.

DS went on to his next lesson after giving his account but he’s come home really quiet and clearly a bit shaken. He’s not normally one for drama or fuss so it’s unusual for him to be this subdued. He keeps going over it in his head and saying he’s not sure if he did enough or did the right thing (even though it sounds like he did brilliantly under the circumstances).

He’s not close to the boy but obviously it was a lot to witness. WIBU to keep him off school tomorrow so he can decompress a bit? Or is that an overreaction? I just feel like he’s still processing it all.

OP posts:
snoopyfanaccountant · 09/07/2025 21:06

Praise him that his training kicked in and that he dealt with the situation calmly and responsibly. Don't keep him home tomorrow.

PiggyPigalle · 09/07/2025 21:08

OFGS, just go to school as normal. You shouldn't even be mentioning it. I dare say the child will be at school unless still very tired.
I'll resist saying what I'd really like to.

Londonrach1 · 09/07/2025 21:09

Well done to your son and shows the importance of teaching first aid to children. Hope the other child is ok. Yabu re keeping your son at home tomorrow though

chatgptsbestmate · 09/07/2025 21:12

Well done to your son

Don't keep him off school. He'll have more time to ruminate and cogitate and worry when he's at home

He'll be better off with his mates and with routine

Email the class teacher / head of year and ask them to have a chat to your son tomorrow and explain how well he did

Itwasachristmasjoke · 09/07/2025 21:13

I'd send him to school, stressful things happen in life. What would happen if he happened to witness the boy have another seizure next week? Will he have another day off? Sounds like he handled the situation really well though 😊

stichguru · 09/07/2025 21:14

Honestly if his friend has seizures, he is going to need to get used to managing it. He did a brilliant thing, but his friend won't necessarily have the day off, he doesn't really need it!

PolyVagalNerve · 09/07/2025 21:16

Drum it into him that he did amazing
that he did nothing wrong and it was a good outcome -

it’s the ‘I should have’s….’ ‘What if I …’ ruminations that could keep him up at night !

he needs help to recognise he is not at fault - and get back to normal day to day life

TappyGilmore · 09/07/2025 21:16

No need to stay off school. He’s better off to learn that these sorts of things happen; you just crack on with things as normal afterwards. And I would have thought he is better off in school where there will be some support for him.

I witnessed a classmate have a seizure when I was 13 or 14. It was a terrible thing to watch on the one hand. On the other hand it gave me a new respect for the teacher who came to assist because he did brilliantly (it was lunchtime and all the kids were outside, with most of the teachers in the staff room, and I never understood how he got there so quickly) and that was probably my biggest learning from the situation - that we can count on people to help us when needed.

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 09/07/2025 21:16

PiggyPigalle · 09/07/2025 21:08

OFGS, just go to school as normal. You shouldn't even be mentioning it. I dare say the child will be at school unless still very tired.
I'll resist saying what I'd really like to.

why won’t you say what you want to say?

Is it because it would be a bit of an over reaction to a parent being concerned about their child?

Letmehaveabloodyusernameplease · 09/07/2025 21:17

I'd try to keep things as normal as possible and send him in tomorrow as usual.
I can fully sympathise, however, as my son is epileptic and seizures are absolutely terrifying to witness.
He did an amazing job and thank goodness he was there.

Peppy88 · 09/07/2025 21:18

I wouldn't keep him off school at all. I would also reassure him he did everything right!

He didn’t have any equipment to hand at school. The first aid is to keep the patient safe, cushion their head, call for help… and after seizure over to place in recovery position.

At an SJA event he might have had oxygen to give, or if he knew the boy was epileptic there may be medication he could administer but neither of those things apply in this situation. He did everything he could in the situation (very well!) and agree speaking to a mentor at SJA may help.

It’s not nice seeing medical emergencies when you have training but aren’t ’equipped’ to deal with them, so maybe he’s ruminating on possibilities that he should accept are outside his control. Not always easy to do and especially not with minimal experience at a young age. But he really couldn’t have done anything better/more!

rwalker · 09/07/2025 21:22

He’ll be naturally shaken it’s can be very frightening to deal with a seizure

heap of praise and a hug but send him in tomorrow

SociableAtWork · 09/07/2025 21:23

He did an amazing job, and exactly what you’re meant to do when someone is having a seizure and should feel rightly proud of his calm and quick response.

I have epilepsy and during seizures always bite my tongue badly and many times, as well as my lips and have also knocked a tooth out previously, due to the jerking head and mouth movements.

During a seizure such as this you’re unconscious so have no memory of it but they can be distressing to witness.

It’s reassuring to know that SJA have young adults like your son who are trained and confident to do the correct thing - there’s nothing else apart from making the person safe (ie giving them space, protecting their head as he did) that can be done.

Whilst I appreciate they’re distressing to witness and he might feel he could have done more/something different I really think he should go to school tomorrow to avoid dwelling on it.

Posters saying ‘maybe SJA isn’t for him’ and criticising your son for processing this are being unfair. Seizures are very upsetting to witness - people can jerk around involuntarily in almost unnatural positions, soil themselves unknowingly, make awful noises, foam at the mouth, repeatedly bite their mouth and tongue, grind their teeth and more; they don’t just quietly lose consciousness and lay still. Witnessing one and providing first aid would cause a huge adrenaline spike which can make you feel unsettled for a while afterwards.

Okiedokie123 · 09/07/2025 21:25

YABU. As long as you (and ideally also his friends and teachers) give him a chance to talk about no of course he doesnt need a day of school. In as little as 4 years time he could be training to be a paramedic or police officer and see things like this multiple times every day. Its not fun but even for someone working in a very dull/not life saving type job - its just life, stuff like this occasionally happens. Id take him out for a milkshake etc at the weekend. He'll be fine.

Illprobsregretthis · 09/07/2025 21:25

Aw I always think in these kinds of situations it’s better to get back into a routine and focus on other things to help him forget about it a bit. My friends little sister had a similar thing happen and keeping her home just majorly exacerbated her anxiety. She needed to focus on other things.

Genevieva · 09/07/2025 21:28

He’d be much better off going back into school, being busy and doing burns things than ruminating at home. He’s been very brave. You can tell the school you are a bit concerned about him and ask that teachers are told to be mindful.

Studyunder · 09/07/2025 21:29

Time off and he’ll have more time think about it and also be waiting even longer to face going back.
Send to school to keep him occupied m. Plus he’ll be with the other people who witnessed it and get their peer support.

NewPlaceToGo · 09/07/2025 21:35

I think that you know your own child and you should follow your own judgement. The people here no nothing about him and you shouldn't let them push you into doing something that you think is wrong for your DS.

FlamingoQueen · 09/07/2025 21:36

He probably does need to talk about it, so I would send him in, but email school / Head of Year and say that he needs someone to go over the events with him. This is perfectly normal, but above all, he should be very proud of himself!

SpottyShoes123 · 09/07/2025 21:36

I think keeping him off school might just lead to him processing the event negatively. Going to school will (kindly) force him to engage with mundane normality.
This might be a long shot, but could you get in touch with someone who taught him the first aid as they may be in a good position to listen and reassure.
Definitely a good idea to let the school know and have them check-in with him.

SwearyYellowStartish · 09/07/2025 21:36

He did well. Don’t teach him that if something bad happens we get a day off. Most of the time we don’t. It will not be a good lesson in resilience.

We deal with difficult circumstances and we carry on.

Cynic17 · 09/07/2025 21:38

FFS, of course he should go to school! If he's volunteering with St John's, he needs to learn to move on from situations like this ASAP. You can't take time off to give in to your emotions - you crack on.

mnahmnah · 09/07/2025 21:39

I’m a secondary teacher and he sounds absolutely amazing! So many would panic, but he remembered his training. Well done him.

The mum in me would also want to give him time at home to decompress. But the teacher in me would urge you to send him in to keep the normality and help him adjust.

ETA - please email his form tutor and let them know. They will let his teachers know to keep an eye on him

Sunshineismyfavourite · 09/07/2025 21:40

I'd say send him in as normal.
Sitting at home going over things in his head won't be good for him and it will make going back to school the next day probably even more difficult. There will be adults in school that he will be able to talk to as well so that will help him.

FormerAnywhere · 09/07/2025 21:41

He did all the right things. Well done.

There's no reason for him not to go in tomorrow though.