To keep DS off school tomorrow after classmate’s seizure?

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DS (14) had quite a distressing experience at school today and I’m unsure what to do for tomorrow. Would appreciate some thoughts.

On the way back from PE to their next lesson, one of DS’s classmates (not a close friend, just someone in his year group) had a seizure. They were still outside at the time. DS was with a couple of others when it happened. He’s been volunteering with St John’s Ambulance and said he recognised it straight away. He put his jacket under the boy’s head, made sure he was safe etc, but said the boy hit his head as he went down and later cut his lip during a second seizure. Other friends ran to get a teacher and they ended up calling an ambulance.

DS went on to his next lesson after giving his account but he’s come home really quiet and clearly a bit shaken. He’s not normally one for drama or fuss so it’s unusual for him to be this subdued. He keeps going over it in his head and saying he’s not sure if he did enough or did the right thing (even though it sounds like he did brilliantly under the circumstances).

He’s not close to the boy but obviously it was a lot to witness. WIBU to keep him off school tomorrow so he can decompress a bit? Or is that an overreaction? I just feel like he’s still processing it all.

While it’s lovely he did this and to say you’re proud of him please remind him that it’s not on him to be recriminating about what he did or didn’t do. He’s a kid and nobody is expecting a kid to keep another kid alive whether they go to St J’s A or not. Not his responsibility. Keeping the boy comfortable as he could while ambulance was called was exactly right to do. He wouldn’t be expected to make any medical decisions or administer any treatment so please be firm that this would never be expected of him.

reassurance that he did all the right things is definitely needed. I wouldn’t suggest staying home but if he brings it up himself I would consider it.
I do tend to agree that staying home might be counterproductive in that he’ll be ruminating on it and that cause more harm than good.

A day off will just mean he's sat at home thinking about it. If he wants to talk about it it's better to talk to friends or teacher who were there than sit at home.

Ah apologies my autocorrect did not work very well! I meant your DS explained very well what happened to the staff!🤦🏻‍♀️

Just watch you son. If he is showing signs of serious distress, keep him home. Just doing it as a precaution is a massive overreaction.

the girl next to me during exams had a seizure. We just had to keep taking our test while the proctors helped her and then the ambulance crew came in.

I think encouraging him to go in as usual will be more helpful than making a big thing about it and help him develop resilience

Encourage him to be very proud of himself but definitely crack on with school as normal tomorrow. It will help him build resilience and self confidence.

Why would you keep him off ? He helped with someone else’s’ disability and from what you’ve said did brilliantly. It doesn’t warrant a day off school - for one thing he doesn’t need to dwell on it, his normal routine will be the best thing for him. And for another, the person who had the seizure will probably be back in and if DS stays off it’ll look like what it is - an excuse for a day off.

YABU he needs to go back in and see how everything is ok and normal.

If he’s stays at home his mind could go in overdrive.

When our friend died we all carried on going in and lessons were as normal. There were lots of tears and it was very surreal but that normality and being together really helped.

Well done to your son.

It sounds like your son acted really well in helping the other boy but I can’t see any reason to keep him at home tomorrow. No doubt the school would mark this down as an unauthorised absence.

What an absolute trooper your son is. I think keeping him home is the worst thing you could do actually, his normal routine among his friends would be much better for him imo.

He will be fine and may miss out on being hero of the moment if you keep him off.

Sounds like he kept his head in the heat of the moment and did a brilliant job.
I think it's natural that after such an event you do question yourself, your actions, should I have done....what if.....
Personally I'd just really praise him in and mention how he stepped up and did the right thing and that he should also be proud of himself.
Tonight I'd go about his normal routines etc ams wake him im the morning.
As a pp has said ask school that someone checks in on him, and maybe also give further reassurance on what he dud was correct. Coming from a teacher is different to a parent!

NO day off necessary. Don’t make this bigger than it was
He will experience multiple other events in life and need to be resilient
Cannot take a day off school or work or uni every time you’re a bit rattled and you should not set the precedent

A kid at my school had a seizure once when I was about 14. She cracked her head open on the concrete tiles as she hit the ground - I’d have been torn a new arsehole if I’d have asked for a day off because of it 🙄 this isn’t about your kid

What an amazing young man 👏 sounds like he done a fantastic job

Your son did great. Well done to him. Talk to him and see how he feels about going in tomorrow

You’ve had some real snarky comments OP, please ignore them - you are worried about your son, that’s all.

sounds like he did a brilliant job. All you can do is reassure him, keep lines of communication open so he knows he can talk to you if he’s struggling.
I wouldn’t suggest a day off, but I’d keep an eye on him in the morning and gauge his mood.
emailing his tutor/year head is a good idea, as is suggesting he talks to someone at his St John’s meets for a debrief

Let him go back to school. At home he will spend the whole day thinking about this. He needs normal now.

I agree with this. If issues arise it should be possible for the school Welfare team to manage them. If HoY is aware they can check in with your DS.

I hope he feels better soon; he should feel proud of what he achieved as those situations are really tough when you have to face them.

😂😂

This.

Mental helicopter parenting. I thought before I opened the thread that her son was going to be about 5 years old. Sounds like the boy done well, no need to wrap him in cotton wool at home like he’s made of glass.

I think it’s a big overreaction

He will process it for a bit, it’s a big experience for a teen, but he can do that and go to school at the same time. The ability to compartmentalise is a key skill.

I think it will become an even bigger issue in his head if you keep him off school and let him go over and over it in his head. Try to reassure him tonight that he did a wonderful thing and couldn’t have done more. Then let him go to school and chat about it with his friends if he wants.

Sounds like he did an amazing thing, encourage him to go to school to keep him occupied, i would however advise the school of your concerns, i would also contact his unit lead at SJA, they will be happy to debrief and support, sounds like he is a credit to the youth team and will be a valuable cadet/volunteer in the future. He won’t be the first to doubt himself after a traumatic experience. Well done to your son.