To keep DS off school tomorrow after classmate’s seizure?

[Grey0]

DS (14) had quite a distressing experience at school today and I’m unsure what to do for tomorrow. Would appreciate some thoughts.

On the way back from PE to their next lesson, one of DS’s classmates (not a close friend, just someone in his year group) had a seizure. They were still outside at the time. DS was with a couple of others when it happened. He’s been volunteering with St John’s Ambulance and said he recognised it straight away. He put his jacket under the boy’s head, made sure he was safe etc, but said the boy hit his head as he went down and later cut his lip during a second seizure. Other friends ran to get a teacher and they ended up calling an ambulance.

DS went on to his next lesson after giving his account but he’s come home really quiet and clearly a bit shaken. He’s not normally one for drama or fuss so it’s unusual for him to be this subdued. He keeps going over it in his head and saying he’s not sure if he did enough or did the right thing (even though it sounds like he did brilliantly under the circumstances).

He’s not close to the boy but obviously it was a lot to witness. WIBU to keep him off school tomorrow so he can decompress a bit? Or is that an overreaction? I just feel like he’s still processing it all.

He should be in school, reassured he did a good job.

Keeping him off blows this well out of proportion.

I think you know your child and if he could do with a day at home to chill then that's fine!

My dad had an unexpected seizure in front of me when I was about 12. It really scared me. I didn't know what it was and it was my dad so yes it was different but I think seeing a seizure can be quite distressing. Especially if felt responsible.

A lot of people on mumsnet would send their kid to school the day after they had a leg amputated so it's not the best place to ask.

That all being said, it might do him good to be around others that were there and sort of be part of the talk and processing if that makes sense.

First of all your son did amazingly, I’m sure you’ve praised him for how he managed in that situation. Let him talk about it if he needs and see how he is, it’s normal to be shaken once the adrenaline dies down, as a nurse we have the same. Which is why we have debriefs so we can go over what happened and make sure the team is ok. Obviously a different scenario but speak to school and ask if someone can keep an eye tomorrow and just be there, he did an amazing thing and he should be proud of himself, hopefully the other lad is ok.

I don’t think you’re over reacting, just being a mum and looking out for your lad, teen boys are funny creatures mine go from not wanting to have much to do with me to lots of love and cuddles so often hard to know how to handle things, but hopefully he’ll let you in, have a cuddle and a chat. But id absolutely send him tomorrow

He did really well, seizures can be horrible to witness but I would be sending him in tomorrow.

YABU

Does he want to stay off?

Probably best to just get back to normal. I think a day off would increase the anxiety.

I think it's the child with ill health who might need time off to recover, not the child who'd had some first aid training and called for help.

My 18yo son has a friend who has seizures.

Unexplained at this point and it’s happened when they have been alone together.

My son is an adult and totally traumatised by it.
He thought his friend was dead. It kept playing over and over in his head.

Absolutely keep your 14 year old boy off school.

Well done to your son for being able to. Many people just freeze or panic like headless chickens. I think it would be an over reaction to keep him off. However I'd message school to see if anyone can check in with him. Keep the door open for conversation with him also if he needs it.

I did emergency first aid on an elderly lady recently. Blood everywhere, bystanders useless and 999 wouldn't send an ambulance for hours. Afterwards when the adrenaline dropped I was really upset. Wondering if I'd manhandled the poor lady, put myself in danger by driving her home or if I'd done the right thing. It can definitely play on your mind for a while.

Keeping him home makes it into a bigger thing than it should be. A scary thing happened and he dealt with it well. That should reassure him that he can cope with the stuff life throws at him.

i think this is a good idea

I'd send him in as normal. Going over it again is his way of processing it which is also normal.

I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it.

Our school would definitely not be impressed with someone having a day off for that!

Well done to your son though!

This!!

well done DS!!

He did a great job and will be far better off at school than at home.

Well done to your DS .
He needs to go to school though.

As far as I can tell your son is understandably a little subdued and you have leapt on it excitedly and thinks it calls for a day off?

This is not a reason for him to stay off school u less you want to teach him that he shouldn’t be able to cope with this.

It will do him good to be able to chat it through with his friends at school anyway.

Personally I would send him into school. If he sits at home what is he going to do? Sit and think about it, going over and over in his mind.

I would remind him that he done a fantastic job! it’s great that he volunteers for St John’s ambulance. It’s perfectly normal to go through things to process it. Maybe let his HOY know and maybe they can offer him a kind of ‘debrief’ in this situation.

I agree seizures are distressing to see. I had a girl in my class as a child have seizures.
As a grown women as a nurse I know how to deal with them and you do feel helpless as there isn’t much you can do to help apart from to keep them safe.
My husband developed epilepsy 2 years ago and some of his seizures have scared me (this was more because they came out of the blue, didn’t know what the cause was and I thought I was going to loose him).

I wouldn’t keep him off, let him talk it through as much as he wants, reassure him that he did the right things and how proud you are of him. It’s scary to give first aid and definitely can leave you shaken up.

Oh don’t be a dick. They aren’t mutually exclusive things.

I think keeping him off is making a bigger thing out of it than it needs to be and is reinforcing the ruminating on it.

I think it's better he goes back, faces the place they were, debriefs a bit with the classmates who were there and life continues as normal. If you're worried you could link his form teacher in or whoever is head of pastoral care but you checking in at home may be more than enough.

It sounds like he did fantastic.

I also vote overreaction. Explain to your DS as best as you can what happened and that it may happen again.

Send him in and let him enjoy being a hero! They'll all have forgotten by Friday.