Nearly 18 year old won’t look after Ddog whilst DH and I go away

[NormalSunday]

DH and I want to go away for our big wedding anniversary, asked our 17 year old (nearly 18) if they wanted to come. They weren’t keen and would prefer to go to the snow with mates later in the year.
So we’ve started to make plans, now they are saying they don’t think they can look after Ddog because is too tying, and that a kennel would be better, means they’ll miss out on social events and overtime at work if they need to be back to walk her etc (noting they never do overtime at their part time job currently)
AIBU to think they are taking the piss and at nearly an adult should be helping with our family dog, not sacking her off to kennels (which she’s never been in) then still expecting us to fund the trip for them in exchange for our holiday!

Tell them it's a requirement to having their trip funded.

I'm not sure they'd look after the dog properly if you insisted but I wouldn't fund their trip either way.

still expecting us to fund the trip for them in exchange for our holiday!

Do you typically fund holidays for them? If so, stop that now.

Exactly as prev poster said - if they want you to pay for their holiday, they need to look after the dog. Although I’d be very careful with that in that will they say they’ll look after her just to get the money but actually won’t do it properly and she’ll be left on her own and not fed on time etc.

This.

First reply nails it!!!

There would be absolutely no chance id be funding their trip.

They sound spoilt and entitled and untrustworthy to look after your dog!

They sound like they want the dog out of the way so they can have a house party tbh.

Tell them you will pay for kennels out of the money you had earmarked for their snow holiday.

Edited to add I would consider their argument about overtime etc if they did this sometimes but it sounds like an excuse (unless they don’t usually do overtime because they are in school or college but will be able to over the summer).

Would s/he look after the dog properly?

Either way, don't fund an adults ski holiday, there's no need.

I’d find a dog sitter and tell dc that snow is not being funded by you… the money has been spent on dig care obviously. consequences -life lessons and all that.

they have a job and can save up themselves

Personally I wouldn’t want him to look after dog if this is his response, he obviously doesn’t care about the dog and no I wouldn’t fund a snow trip later in the year.

When you say going away, how long are you talking about? A weekend? A week? Two weeks? For me I think it would depend.

Our DD19 regularly looks after our family dogs while DH and I go away for a weekend or long weekend. And she does it happily and even encourages us to as she understands this is something she can do for us, after everything we do for her. She understands give and take.

However if it were for a week I don't think I would expect that of her unless she was totally happy to do it. It definitely would mean she would miss out on social events and impact her life. Its not to say she wouldn't but I would understand her reluctance a bit more if it was for a whole week.

Although our dogs are happy on their own in the house, they do need 2 walks a day, plus garden time to toilet and feeding so it is a bit of a bind so I am unsure if she would be totally onboard to do it for a week unless maybe her boyfriend could stay for the week.

But to be honest, I don't think its too much to ask of a YP to help their parents and step up and give something back.

At this age I paid for my own holidays. Why are your facilitating this behaviour. Don't pay for the later in year holiday. Your dc either comes with you, or stays at home and looks after the family dog. This is selfish entitled behaviour op.

I have a slightly different view. We have a dog and I had fondly imagined that DS would start looking after him when DH and I went away. Except dogs need consistency, ours is used to three walks a day and someone around most of the day. DS is out working, socialising and playing rugby.
I send rookiedog to a dog sitter instead as it’s a lot to ask a teen to do. It would be different if they were refusing to do it because they were lying in bed all day.

Perfect

My thought exactly. Nothing would have made me consider leaving my daughter at home at that age - she would have had a party within hours of us leaving.

Well, this. But as a pet owner myself I’d now be worried about leaving the dog with them as they clearly don’t give a shit and I suspect the dog will be left alone far too much.

"Socialising" could lessen for once though to help out. Other things fair enough.

You say "family dog" but I assume the decision to get a dog was yours and not your child's? I don't think you should automatically assume that they will look after the dog while you are away. How long will you be away for? A dog is a big tie and I can understand them not being keen to be honest.

On the other hand, it is a small ask compared to getting a free holiday. I think it's fair to say you will only fund their trip if they help you in return.

I'll give your dog a K9 holiday of a lifetime (fresh cooked meals, safe & interesting walks, all day garden access, access to all beds) here with me & mine if you'll pay for me to go skiing this year. Sounds like a great deal to me.

But please don’t put the dog in kennels if she has never been, she will find it incredibly stressful. Kennels are something dogs need to get used to from an early age.

I think you should come to a compromise. Do you have a dog sitter you use? Maybe agree to pay for two or three visits from the dog sitter whilst you're away, so that your DS can do overtime.

But he should be able to take responsibility for the dog.

@DeathNote11- deal!