Nearly 18 year old won’t look after Ddog whilst DH and I go away

[NormalSunday]

DH and I want to go away for our big wedding anniversary, asked our 17 year old (nearly 18) if they wanted to come. They weren’t keen and would prefer to go to the snow with mates later in the year.
So we’ve started to make plans, now they are saying they don’t think they can look after Ddog because is too tying, and that a kennel would be better, means they’ll miss out on social events and overtime at work if they need to be back to walk her etc (noting they never do overtime at their part time job currently)
AIBU to think they are taking the piss and at nearly an adult should be helping with our family dog, not sacking her off to kennels (which she’s never been in) then still expecting us to fund the trip for them in exchange for our holiday!

I’d rather send DC to the kennels rather than Ddog!!! We won’t go if that the only option

It’s not really their responsibility. Pay for a professional service.

Tell them they are to look after the dog or you will be sending relatives round to look after dog and look after them too, they will sharp change their mind

What would you have done with the dog if DC had accepted the offer to come with you?

How do you go away normally then?

This .your child sounds an absolute pain. Get someone else to look after your dog then your near adult child will have time to look for a job to fund their holiday.

I dont think he should be expected to look after a dog when you are away. It would be quite tying especially as he has a part-time job. And parents do usually pay for holidays for 17 year olds.

Get a home boarder then you are being ridiculous now.

Yes. - they have to do it! Teenagers can be lazy

Yes, this! What's your plan when he leaves home? Is he going to university?

We have a very high-maintenance pooch who I wouldn't put in kennels but we do check with the (adult) kids that they're happy to look after him while we're away and do have back-up reciprocal arrangements with friends if necessary.

When we were away a few weeks ago we ended up paying one of ds's friends to babysit the dog for an evening when ds was at a pre-arranged gig 😆

What would you have done if he had said yes to coming along?

I wouldn't want to look after a dog, especially not at 17. How long are you away for?

I think you are right your dog should be able to stay home but your child is being selfish and entitled and blocking you from going away, it doesn't sound they would look after the dog very well if you forced the issue.

I actually assumed it was the dc's choice. It is common for kids to ask for pets, then grow up and abandon them, leaving the work to the parents. Regardless, if a 18 year old doesn't have the common decency to help out than they're entitled and selfish. Funding trips will only worsen this attitude imo.

The son isn't blocking anyone from going anywhere. Presumably, the parents had a plan for the dog initially that didn't involve their son. Or they wouldn't have asked if he wanted to join the trip.

First post nails it again.

Out of interest, do they have any other responsibilities in the house? Chores, washing, etc.?

Since when was 17 an adult?

The op said they would rather stay home than use kennels! So putting an obstacle in the op way.

Get a dog walker or even a pet sitter. I would not want a reluctant person caring for my pet.

Refuse to pay for the snow holiday. Your DC can use their overtime money to pay for their own holiday!

Yes, but that plan is no longer needed seeing as how there will now be a young almost adult son there to look after said dog. This is the least he can do, especially when op is willing to fund his trip later in the year. Honestly what a slap in the face, if he is working part time make him save up for his own holiday op.

I think some people live in another world I couldn't afford to send a 17 year old away with friends on holiday without them contributing financially, also 17 is nearly an adult I know some parents hate to think this and will infantilise them whilst paying for the not adult to go on holiday alone !

Maybe get a friend/relative to dogsit the whole time you're away. Staying over in your house so your child wont get any alone time at home.

Sounds like they are nearly 18, so probably by the time it's snowing they will be.

Have you considered a live-in dog sitter? That'd guarantee no parties while you're gone. And obviously because you've had to pay for the sitter you can't afford to pay for the ski holiday.

Where would ddog be if teen was coming with you?

I think I’d say these comments are all rather concerning, both from a capability perspective and from a maturity perspective. You’re old enough to pitch in, you will need to look after dog if you want us to support your trip. And you will also look after ddog solely on one weekend between now and then to demonstrate to us you can. Pick a weekend, minimum 3 weeks beforehand so you can also do the following weekend if it’s not up to scratch. If that’s not up to scratch we won’t go and you will have to fund your own trip. Take it or leave it- you’re too old for this whining and refusing to pitch in.