Nearly 18 year old won’t look after Ddog whilst DH and I go away

[NormalSunday]

DH and I want to go away for our big wedding anniversary, asked our 17 year old (nearly 18) if they wanted to come. They weren’t keen and would prefer to go to the snow with mates later in the year.
So we’ve started to make plans, now they are saying they don’t think they can look after Ddog because is too tying, and that a kennel would be better, means they’ll miss out on social events and overtime at work if they need to be back to walk her etc (noting they never do overtime at their part time job currently)
AIBU to think they are taking the piss and at nearly an adult should be helping with our family dog, not sacking her off to kennels (which she’s never been in) then still expecting us to fund the trip for them in exchange for our holiday!

Me also.

i have a 17 nearly 18 year old. I would not expect her to stay alone and look after herself and pets.

when we got them yes it was a family decision but they were kids and not able to make a long term commitment to a dog or cat. So ultimately it was my choice and my responsibility.

if they were completely happy to do it then I’d leave them to it. But if there’s any doubt I find alternative options.

Yes. I happened to be in a similar situation at 19, was out soon afterwards.

If they refused when asked, I wouldn't trust them to care for the dog properly. I sure wouldn't be funding a ski trip.

Have they not participated in caring for the dog, like doing some feeding and walks and grooming? My kids were completely comfortable with caring for ours and had done training with them and dog care from when we got dogs. They grew up with animals being part of the family and everyone took part in their care.

It’s the family dog. If a 17year old can’t look after ddog for a week then he isn’t going to be going on any holidays on his own.

This isn’t about money it’s about the dogs welfare and not changing their environment

Honestly I wouldn’t go away. Say nothing further about funding their holiday then when they ask nearer the time tell them the funding was part of going away to celebrate your wedding anniversary

No wedding anniversary holiday = No money for ski holidays

Tell them you wont fund their trip if they cant be bothered to look after the dog.

not sure I'd trust them to look after the dog TBH

let them have the joy of planning the ski holiday, they can find out later that you aren't funding it.
with all that overtime pay they can contribute more to lodging/household expenses.

My adult ds takes a weeks annual leave every year to look after our dogs. He’s not special, just being a team player. He adores the dogs though and isn’t that bothered about socialising.
Your ds is being a bit self centred I’m sorry to say.

What about a local dog sitter who has dogs in their home? That's what I use and my dog loves it! Of course, when you return, you now don't have enough money to fund a ski trip now the dog needed to be paid for.

...but yes, I also wouldn't have left my 17-year old in charge of my dog (and he loves him).

@NormalSunday What arrangements would you have made for the Ddog if your DC had decided to accept the invitation to accompany you on this break?

I agree your scenario is quite different!

I think that’s quite a big ask to be honest, dogs are very time consuming and will take up a fair amount of time. Its not like putting down some food and water for a cat.

They have a regular dog sitter who comes to stay but obviously won’t be staying if DS is in the house.

My 19yo and 17yo agreed to look after the dog whilst me and DH went away for the weekend. I would be a bit surprised if they hadn’t agreed as we all cooperate.

I don’t leave my dog in kennels as he wouldn’t cope. He’s tiny and very attached to us. I also wouldn’t send him with a random dog walker. It’s not about the cost, it’s about the dog’s wellbeing.

It’s their own dog in their own house that they love?

Family dog. Family responsibility. Your DS should absolutely do it. All other responses are wrong.

I understand his point, but I do not agree with it.

meh. You can no longer pay for DS trip because the funds are going to DDog's kennel fees.

easy decision.

Tell them the money that would have funded their trip will now be funding dog at kennels. Don't relent because I doubt he'd look after your dog properly after this.

OP have a look at pet stay, they might have a home boarder in your area that your dog can stay with, they have a website and Facebook page.
I wouldn't leave my precious dog at home with sulky teen as I wouldn't trust him to care for my dog properly or anyone else that they might bring into your home while you're away. Even the nicest kids can be irresponsible when unsupervised around pets, it's just not worth it .
I would find someone else to care for my dog and I would make it clear the ski trip will not be funded by you either.

Come back in 5 years when the dont bother with you.
What utter rubbish.

Except this dog belongs to the OP and her husband, not the 17yo, who shouldn’t have to adjust their work schedule etc. to accommodate walks and toilet breaks.

Part and parcel of being an adult, compromise and give and take. In this case they give their parents the benefit of caring for their family pet and they take the reward of a funded trip. They want everything on their terms which is teenagers tbh but time to learn otherwise.

Maybe so but it’s not the son’s responsibility, that falls on his parents.
I wouldn’t have spent my days walking the dog three times a day if my parents had gone away.

You think you need to fund holidays and free rein on teenagers for them to like you ? I am not having a dig it is a genuine question.

If you were prepared to take your DS with you in holiday, what would you have done with the DDog? Perhaps just treat it as though he had chosen to come with you (only leave him to sort himself out for food while you’re away).