Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Holiday day three… not going brilliantly

259 replies

Sealhaver · 08/07/2025 00:00

Hmmmm, so I feel I might really be unreasonable here, thus the post. I would say we are a classic family of four, with 14 year old daughter, and 10 year old son and typical marital disputes (some money, some mental load, some basic male uselessness…). Most notably,’husband has been away a lot over the past few months (due to work, but not entirely essential work) and the kids have clearly noticed this and felt slighted by this (as I have, in terms of picking up the slack, too).

So now, we are on long awaited holiday where we can all take a breath and reconnect… and somehow we are not all falling into the happy family patterns that husband anticipates. And it all comes to a head with: the film watching experience of tonight..Always a bit of a sore spot for us as I will happily comment and yap away- and he prefers total silence. Now, the kids and I try to respect this when watching a new film, but honestly, find it a bit ridiculous when doing a rewatch ..and also isn’t the bloody point of watching a film together as a family to do some bonding shit talk?!? So, complete nightmare following reasonably pleasant day when we decide to watch Harry Potter 1 (seen maybe 8-10 times as a family???) and we are chastised within the first 10 mins for talking too much. At this point, I most definitely do not take the moral high ground, but say he is acting as a massive asshat - and had I known movie silence would be required I may not have married him… this traumatising children who actually think this is a declaration of divorce. Everything then minimised and I pretend to sleep for the rest of the film (ah- keeping quiet and not talking!), but now the kids upset and the bloody husband claiming he has no idea why everyone is so on edge…. Do I just pretend all is normal and completely eat the ‘film silence’ shit… or do I stay strong and make this an issue?!! .

OP posts:
sweetpickle2 · 08/07/2025 00:03

I have to say, talking during a film drives me mad as well- if you want to chat, why are we watching a film? I’m ND and find it hard to follow either thing (the film and the convo) at the same time so it leaves me feeling quite overwhelmed.

Did you really call him an asshat in front of your kids?

mmsnet · 08/07/2025 00:03

for sake of the kids maybe keep the peace whilst on holiday

then try and resolve the issues at home

humptydumptyfelloff · 08/07/2025 00:04

So you have a film on but talk all through it??

always baffles me that,why not play games if your going to want an evening of chatting rather than out a film on?

maybe someone else will come along in a minute and say the opposite of me but I think your resentment towards your dh should have been kept between you,not on a family holiday in front of the kids.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 08/07/2025 00:04

You sound like hardwork

Helpmeplease2025 · 08/07/2025 00:04

Talking through a film is really annoying.

FrodoBiggins · 08/07/2025 00:06

I'm on your team OP, find it absolutely mad that someone would silently watch a film they've seen multiple times! Your DH sounds annoying.

mmsnet · 08/07/2025 00:06

also agree with everyone else, who has a running commentary during a movie?

personally find it annoying

humptydumptyfelloff · 08/07/2025 00:07

Phew glad I’m not the only one who thought it odd talking through a film

Sealhaver · 08/07/2025 00:08

Alright- thank you and fair enough! Maybe we were being the irritating ones- it’s actually really useful to have other perspectives. I will say that it want constant chat, more comments when appropriate but I see how that might be annoying.

OP posts:
gottakeeponmoving · 08/07/2025 00:09

Talking through films is YABU from me.

Radionowhere · 08/07/2025 00:09

I hate noise when I'm watching a film! Pick your battles OP. This isn't it.

TeenLifeMum · 08/07/2025 00:10

You can only talk in the film if there’s no talking on screen and no subtle message being portrayed, otherwise shut the fuck up and watch the film (this is our family rule and I’d think that’s fairly normal otherwise what’s the point of watching it?). You sound over dramatic and thoughtless considering dc were there.

FrodoBiggins · 08/07/2025 00:11

Are you all for real? You'd silently watch a film you've seen 8-10 times before???

Sealhaver · 08/07/2025 00:11

I stand totally corrected! Will actually give more thought to not doing this from now on- thank you all for an honest perspective.

OP posts:
beetr00 · 08/07/2025 00:11

Sealhaver · 08/07/2025 00:08

Alright- thank you and fair enough! Maybe we were being the irritating ones- it’s actually really useful to have other perspectives. I will say that it want constant chat, more comments when appropriate but I see how that might be annoying.

but how you talked to your husband, in front of the children, is totally unacceptable @Sealhaver At least own that!

Enko · 08/07/2025 00:12

Well i dont agree no talking throughout a film. I dont agree on constant chatter either.

Having said that
If any of mine sticks on Harry potter. For the 12453245660594488383 time.. I shall talk throughout it as I wish and desire. As frankly they can recite it word for word. No need for silence..

maudelovesharold · 08/07/2025 00:13

I know it’s not the point, but isn’t it a bit boring to be watching a film you’ve already seen 8-10 times already? I don’t think it’s a particularly good way of re-connecting either. Play Scrabble or Pictionary or something. Or watch a new film together (in silence) and discuss what you thought of it afterwards!

reversegear · 08/07/2025 00:13

I’m just confused by the fact you are on holiday and watching TV? Are you somewhere really boring.. why are you not our eating a meal having some drinks and chatting away there?

sweetpickle2 · 08/07/2025 00:14

FrodoBiggins · 08/07/2025 00:11

Are you all for real? You'd silently watch a film you've seen 8-10 times before???

Not total silence but “isn’t the bloody point of watching a film together as a family to do some bonding shit talk” sounds like OP expects a full on chin-wag.

Sealhaver · 08/07/2025 00:15

Alll very good points (and thank you for those who understand the need to lightly banter while watching a v familiar movie..)!! Guess I need to rethink the entertainment for the next few days to prevent further debate…

OP posts:
FrodoBiggins · 08/07/2025 00:18

sweetpickle2 · 08/07/2025 00:14

Not total silence but “isn’t the bloody point of watching a film together as a family to do some bonding shit talk” sounds like OP expects a full on chin-wag.

Fair enough, must be a personality thing. For me the only reason to rewatch a film/tv show is for the shittalk. Take the piss out of the acting, speculate wildly about how the stunts were done, try to remember who's in what series now, all say which magical pet you'd have if you could (cat)

Eenameenadeeka · 08/07/2025 00:18

I personally hate when people talk during the movie although it's not as bad if you've seen it a lot, but did you actually tell him you wouldn't have married him, in front of your children? Cause that's really unreasonable.

Tahlbias · 08/07/2025 00:21

Why would you talk through a film?

pizzaHeart · 08/07/2025 00:22

Are we talking about commenting alongside or occasional producing sounds? If the former - YABVU. If the latter - it could be ok.
Which way do kids prefer: silence or talking? We often talk for DD’s benefit, it helps her to follow the storyline.
In general I would expect your DH to ask you politely and keep polite approach throughout but then I would expect you to shut up for at least a bit after being asked once if kids didn’t need your comments.

Donotgiveashit · 08/07/2025 00:25

Where are you on holiday? Watching a film seems an odd way of spending your time away together!