Crap friend | Mumsnet

PerkyOchrePeer · 2025-07-07T21:43:05+00:00

I went on holiday last year and met up with a friend of a friend. I didnt really know her but was grateful that she offered to show me around. We didnt have much in common but rubed along ok. I thought she was a bit full on with her behaviour and wondered if she was gay. After the holiday, we went our seperate ways and i sent her the odd fìendly wassap message to which she replied to but in a cold polite but not that friend manner. The last couple of messages she totally ignored so i have now deleted her from my phone and wont be messaging her again. I was annoyed at first because i have made an effort to remain on friendlý terms

notanothersummercold · 07/07/2025 22:44

What's the aibu op?

Whatatodo79 · 07/07/2025 22:46

Sounds like not much lost op

CaptainFuture · 07/07/2025 22:46

Strop because a friend of friend doesn't want to be your bestie?

MNpenisadvisor · 07/07/2025 22:49

Cool story bro

landlordhell · 07/07/2025 22:49

I don’t understand the problem. She offered to show you around, and that as ok but you didn’t have much in common. You have returned home annd exchanged a few messages and now communication has naturally died out . Standard.

minipie · 07/07/2025 22:50

Eh? You didn’t get on that well, didn’t like her that much, she clearly felt the same, why are you even trying to keep in touch?

DragonTrainor · 07/07/2025 22:53

What's the question?

It sounds like you wanted to be friends and she doesn't but I'm guessing you are confused because she seemed "full on" and now she's not interested?

What's the relevance of her being gay? Were you hoping something would happen?

Wellwater · 07/07/2025 23:17

It’s not clear what your problem is. You rubbed along ok with a friend of a friend on a holiday and are now cross she doesn’t want to stay in touch even though you don’t seem to much like her? I don’t see what her being gay has to do with anything, or shy not want ping to stay in touch with someone randomly met on holiday makes her ‘crap’?

Modernme · 07/07/2025 23:30

How old are you lot acting like your still in school ffs grow-up.

IanStirlingrocks · 07/07/2025 23:32

What does her possibly being Gay have to do with this? Did you want the friendship to develop into something more? I’m not sure I really understand what you’re looking for here?

Ponoka7 · 07/07/2025 23:36

She wasn't a crap friend, she was a really good temporary acquaintance. You don't have anything in common. She doesn't want someone who is just a possible companion. That's ok.

ilovesooty · 08/07/2025 00:04

I don't see the relevance of her sexual orientation. She doesn't want to be friends with you. These things happen.

sweetpickle2 · 08/07/2025 00:07

She’s not a “crap friend” she’s just not a friend and never was.

Not sure what her sexual orientation has to do with anything.

Original poster

PerkyOchrePeer · 08/07/2025 03:09

landlordhell · 07/07/2025 22:49

I don’t understand the problem. She offered to show you around, and that as ok but you didn’t have much in common. You have returned home annd exchanged a few messages and now communication has naturally died out . Standard.

The problem is if someone goes to the trouble of taking time to show you around then they must enjoy your company. If thats the case then why not keep it up? She even asked if i wanted to stay with her and i said no because she was not someone i knrw. Why ask a complete stranger to stay with you. She had only met me briefly twice before she showed me around and i would not invite someone i hardly knew to stay with me .

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Original poster

PerkyOchrePeer · 08/07/2025 03:33

IanStirlingrocks · 07/07/2025 23:32

What does her possibly being Gay have to do with this? Did you want the friendship to develop into something more? I’m not sure I really understand what you’re looking for here?

I did not want anything more to develop because i am not gay . I thought she was too full on at times because she kept remarking on my appearance saying i looked nice and when we were out somewhere and it gòt chilly she said i could wear her jumper. I felt a bit uncomfortable and she was ctantly staring at me

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Original poster

PerkyOchrePeer · 08/07/2025 03:34

I did not want anything more to develop because i am not gay . I thought she was too full on at times because she kept remarking on my appearance saying i looked nice and when we were out somewhere and it gòt chilly she said i could wear her jumper. I felt a bit uncomfortable and she was ctantly staring at me

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Isitreallysohard · 08/07/2025 03:37

landlordhell · 07/07/2025 22:49

I don’t understand the problem. She offered to show you around, and that as ok but you didn’t have much in common. You have returned home annd exchanged a few messages and now communication has naturally died out . Standard.

This. Plus you're unlikely to ever see her again. She's very nice to taking you around!

CalicoPusscat · 08/07/2025 03:38

It was nice of her to show you around but she's not really a friend; you seem disappointed contact has fizzled out, but just enjoy memories of the holiday.

JMSA · 08/07/2025 03:42

I’m not sure what the problem is or why you feel annoyed by it.
You were brought together through circumstance, namely the holiday, not because you gel naturally.
And you give the impression that you were merely tolerating her, so maybe she picked up on that.
I’m really not sure as none of us were there.

Original poster

PerkyOchrePeer · 08/07/2025 04:22

CalicoPusscat · 08/07/2025 03:38

It was nice of her to show you around but she's not really a friend; you seem disappointed contact has fizzled out, but just enjoy memories of the holiday.

Every frienfship has to syart somewhere amd the close friends i have were not friends at first and i make an effort but my close friends are people i have things in common with

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Original poster

PerkyOchrePeer · 08/07/2025 04:27

I am only disappointed because i feel i put effort in after the trip and felt it was a waste of time

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Original poster

PerkyOchrePeer · 08/07/2025 04:44

JMSA · 08/07/2025 03:42

I’m not sure what the problem is or why you feel annoyed by it.
You were brought together through circumstance, namely the holiday, not because you gel naturally.
And you give the impression that you were merely tolerating her, so maybe she picked up on that.
I’m really not sure as none of us were there.

Perhaps i was tolerating her or using her to take me places. On the other hand she did not have to see me each day. She could have made an excuce and say she was busy. She willingly saw me each day and that was why i thought i would keep in touch after the holiday. EVen at home ive met people that i would not want to befriend and that even includes family members. I think i contacted her after my holiday out of habit and not because of a close bond. Even my friend of 40 years has dwindled because we have grown apart and have different interests now.

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CalicoPusscat · 08/07/2025 06:07

@PerkyOchrePeer is anything else wrong? It seems like you were expecting too much.

Try not to take it out on the friend who introduced you

temperedolive · 08/07/2025 06:11

PerkyOchrePeer · 08/07/2025 03:09

The problem is if someone goes to the trouble of taking time to show you around then they must enjoy your company. If thats the case then why not keep it up? She even asked if i wanted to stay with her and i said no because she was not someone i knrw. Why ask a complete stranger to stay with you. She had only met me briefly twice before she showed me around and i would not invite someone i hardly knew to stay with me .

Show quote history

She was being friendly because since her friend likes you she thought you might be fun. It turns out, she doesn't like you much. She fulfilled her obligations by showing you around but she isn't interested in friendship.

It's not difficult.

Blurrywateryeye · 08/07/2025 06:13

She wasn’t a friend, you thought she was full on and gay and now pissed off she isn't being friendly enough 🤣 okay