To ask DH to no go away for weekend

[Pt4ever]

Hello,

I'll keep it brief.

DH is going away to an event in a few weeks for a night away I've no interest in the event (airshow 🙄🥱🥱) he went last year and had another weekend away doing something else in the winter of 2024

We've one DS who he's arranged childcare for with ho parents and worked overtime to pay for all travel/ hotel and tickets. I just feel like I don't really get a chance to go away for my hobbies, he's always said I can go away and we can afford it but it feels weird me up and going away for the weekend.

To ask him not to go? How would I explain it?

I “get it”, I really do. But it isn’t reasonable to expect him to live in your pocket 24/7. You BOTH need to have breathing space away from each other, and I truly do understand it can be to do it for yourself. It’s very easy to lose yourself in being a wife and mother, but it’s not healthy to let this happen. You say that you’re not comfortable with the idea of doing something for “you”, so ask yourself why that is. Is it “guilt” about failing to do your “job role” (remember every job role comes with annual leave)? Have you lost touch with old friends? Do you feel isolated? Do you think you’ll be judged if you take him up on his offer? If so, who by? And why do their opinions worry you?
Do you take any time just for you? What do YOU enjoy doing? It can be anything … learn a new skill, a language, have your nails done, walking the dog by the beach, join a choir, or a gym. Remember who you were before being a mum, she’s still in there.

She obviously prefers martyrdom, poor man.

You cant ask him not to go its unreasonable.
He wants you to do the same but just because you dont want to doesnt mean he has to not enjoy his own interests.
Its healthy to have your own space to do things I couldnt tolerate a person trying to stop me doing things I enjoy.

You sound insufferable.

Rage bait.

Unless there is something else in this situation that you're not explaining, you are being very unreasonable. Try and look at it from another perspective; if you had planned and organised a weekend away and he stepped in and inferred that he'd rather you didn't go (without good reason), you'd probably view that as an infringement of your liberty. What are your afraid of happening while he's not with you? 🤔