To ask DH to no go away for weekend

[Pt4ever]

Hello,

I'll keep it brief.

DH is going away to an event in a few weeks for a night away I've no interest in the event (airshow 🙄🥱🥱) he went last year and had another weekend away doing something else in the winter of 2024

We've one DS who he's arranged childcare for with ho parents and worked overtime to pay for all travel/ hotel and tickets. I just feel like I don't really get a chance to go away for my hobbies, he's always said I can go away and we can afford it but it feels weird me up and going away for the weekend.

To ask him not to go? How would I explain it?

I don't understand a lot of your post, it doesn't make any sense, but no, that's weird, why would he not go?

YABU.

Your choice not to do it when it’s available to you shouldn’t hinder his choice.

He’s even arranged childcare so it doesn’t all fall on you and done overtime to pay for it (although accept some of that probably fell on you!). Most people would give their right arm for a partner who does their equal share of responsibility and the chance to go away.

Bluntly, you are being abusive and coercive.I would never accept anyone telling me where I can and can't go.Just remember also the tighter you hold on the more likely people are to wriggle away eventually. If he was my family member I would tell him to get away from you.

@Pt4ever If this post is real which I'm doubtful about then YABVU.

Hth.

Yabvu he’s arranged childcare even!!! so you also have that time to yourself so enjoy it

@Luckyingame

oh, well I was only joking and I said he shouldn’t go and that hobbies are for pre- children life. In reality lots of parents manage to retain a social life and uphold their hobbies and interests. People like the OP who seem to have no life outside of their husband and kids are luckily pretty rare

@smithypants

whaaat?! Once every six months do something for yourself ?! That’s way too infrequent

So essentially you’re asking if you should limit your partner’s social life and enjoyment of his hobbies because of your own limitations.

A) you've got at least a night to yourself enjoy it.
B) your husband is encouraging you to have a weekend away to enjoy yourself. He has done nothing wrong.
You don't have to be joined at the hip all the time. My partner normally goes camping with his son in the summer and as much as I love him I really enjoy having a night alone with my daughter. If he goes on the family holiday on his side I often stay home (we have lots of animals so would cost a small fortune getting people into look after them). And again I love it 🤷‍♀️ I eat my body weight in cheesecake and watch slushy films that I know aren't his cup of tea.

I can't quite figure out why you aren't happy for your husband going and enjoying himself

Why don't you spend time on your hobbies/take a solo trip somewhere

He's done all the right things. Of course he should go. Why don't you go away somewhere too! Enjoy your childfree weekend.

If you’re not going op, can I go instead? Massive plane geek here

I honestly don’t see the issue. Can you not take yourself off and do something you want to do if you really don’t want to go to the airshow with him, either with your child or if they’re with grandparents, then alone? That’s what I would be doing. Also, why could you not go with him? Make a weekend of it. The air show will be day time only. That leaves a night or two to yourselves. My DH is not into airshows like I am but when I’ve mentioned going he’s come along and we’ve made a weekend of it, booked a hotel and enjoyed an evening out just us two after said airshow. Child free time is rare and neither of us will turn it down!

Surely this is a reverse

I doubt we'll find out, op doesn't appear to be coming back, and did the same on the other thread they started.

So SO unreasonable. He has paid himself without impacting the household budget and arranged childcare. Why on earth shouldn't he go. If you want a weekend away with friends or something then do the same! Alot of men would just announce they are going and leave childcare up to you. Poor guy you sound clingy and controlling.

Why do people do this? It’s quite rude not to respond once to any of the posts that are trying to help you.

I guess life happens though doesn't it which none of us will see, ops priorities may be elsewhere. Just because we give advice on here doesn't mean we are owed anything really, nor is anyone obliged to take the advice. I also suspect a reverse tbh.

Totally unreasonable! The fact you can’t even think of an excuse should prove that to you!

You have childcare and can’t be bothered to arrange anything and don’t want to go with him? Why arrange childcare then?!

Why wouldn’t you arrange to do something yourself? The kids are with his parents so are you child free? YABU to even think about asking him not to go, he’s worked extra to pay for it, sorted the childcare, told you that you can have the same opportunity (but don’t want to). Yabvu

“no go away” is obviously a typo but did it make anyone else read the title in a Scottish accent?

YABVU. Don’t you want a happy husband?

You're being an arsehole about it. He's covered the cost and arranged childcare so he really couldn't have been more considerate about it.

You're just as entitled as he is to time off for yourself, which he clearly recognises since he's encouraging it. The fact that you don't feel comfortable with that is your issue to deal with. It's not fair to stop him from doing something reasonable just because you have a weird hang up about doing the same yourself.

why are you even asking if you are being unreasonable? He has sorted out childcare so it’s nof like he is dumping it all on you like what a lot of husbands would

Totally unreasonable, he hasn’t put a foot wrong, totally respectful of your time and being clear you can do the same. I am flummoxed by your post. You come across as quite spoilt and unsupportive. If it was the other way round I wouldn’t stand for it for one minute tbh.