Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask DH to no go away for weekend

206 replies

Pt4ever · 07/07/2025 10:50

Hello,

I'll keep it brief.

DH is going away to an event in a few weeks for a night away I've no interest in the event (airshow 🙄🥱🥱) he went last year and had another weekend away doing something else in the winter of 2024

We've one DS who he's arranged childcare for with ho parents and worked overtime to pay for all travel/ hotel and tickets. I just feel like I don't really get a chance to go away for my hobbies, he's always said I can go away and we can afford it but it feels weird me up and going away for the weekend.

To ask him not to go? How would I explain it?

OP posts:
mindutopia · 07/07/2025 12:09

No, of course not. You just go away for the weekend yourself. Don’t be such a sour lemon.

I have cancer, going through cancer treatment at the moment. I got the news that my scans were looking positive. First thing I did was book 4 days abroad without Dh or dc! It was fab. I go on holiday solo at least once a year and have since eldest (now 12) was 16 months. Go and enjoy your life. You only get to live it once.

FlipFlopShopInHawaii · 07/07/2025 12:09

I'm sure I'm repeating others...

  1. why does he need to arrange childcare for your DS when you're not going with him?
  2. ok so you don't like airshows, but surely you could go for a weekend away anyway,... or
  3. book something for yourself. It's not his fault you won't do this.
Yuja · 07/07/2025 12:09

what? Why?? He’s even arranged childcare - why don’t you use the weekend to do something yourself or see a friend? You are obviously being completely unreasonable

Alltheyellowbirds · 07/07/2025 12:10

Please fill in the missing context OP, so we can understand better. And if it’s a reverse, fess up ;)

AngelicKaty · 07/07/2025 12:12

@Pt4ever So, he works OT to pay for the occasional weekend away, he's organised childcare with his DPs and he has no problem with you going away occasionally for your hobbies. He sounds like a perfectly reasonable and considerate DH and YABU to ask him not to go. And of course you can't explain why you don't want him to go because there's no rational explanation other than you would feel "weird" going away to pursue your own hobbies - well that's your problem OP. It seems to me that you're not really bothered about your hobbies and you don't think your DH should be either. YABVVVU.

Cherrytree86 · 07/07/2025 12:13

Pt4ever · 07/07/2025 10:50

Hello,

I'll keep it brief.

DH is going away to an event in a few weeks for a night away I've no interest in the event (airshow 🙄🥱🥱) he went last year and had another weekend away doing something else in the winter of 2024

We've one DS who he's arranged childcare for with ho parents and worked overtime to pay for all travel/ hotel and tickets. I just feel like I don't really get a chance to go away for my hobbies, he's always said I can go away and we can afford it but it feels weird me up and going away for the weekend.

To ask him not to go? How would I explain it?

@Pt4ever

i agree Op, once you have kids you should never have a weekend away. Hobbies are for pre- children life. It’s just not what parents do.

Marmalade71 · 07/07/2025 12:15

Why so many chain yanking threads at the mo??

SaturdayDream · 07/07/2025 12:15

It’s not his fault you haven’t got much of a life.

CopperWhite · 07/07/2025 12:16

Why did he need to arrange childcare when you’re at home?

VickyEadieofThigh · 07/07/2025 12:17

Cherrytree86 · 07/07/2025 12:13

@Pt4ever

i agree Op, once you have kids you should never have a weekend away. Hobbies are for pre- children life. It’s just not what parents do.

Show quote history

I do hope you're being sarcastic here...

FlipFlopShopInHawaii · 07/07/2025 12:17

Cherrytree86 · 07/07/2025 12:13

@Pt4ever

i agree Op, once you have kids you should never have a weekend away. Hobbies are for pre- children life. It’s just not what parents do.

Show quote history

I am reading this with a healthy dose of sarcasm I just hope it's meant that way!

Snap @VickyEadieofThigh 😁

Please say we're right @Cherrytree86 🙏

Tiredandtiredagain · 07/07/2025 12:17

You can’t explain it, it’s totally unreasonable!

JudgeBread · 07/07/2025 12:19

I mean you're so obviously being a massive brat that I have to believe this is just a rage bait thread.

Cherrytree86 · 07/07/2025 12:22

FlipFlopShopInHawaii · 07/07/2025 12:17

I am reading this with a healthy dose of sarcasm I just hope it's meant that way!

Snap @VickyEadieofThigh 😁

Please say we're right @Cherrytree86 🙏

Edited
Show quote history

👍 You absolutely are right!

positivebutnegative · 07/07/2025 12:22

You are not just being unreasonable, you are being cruel OP.

FlipFlopShopInHawaii · 07/07/2025 12:25

Cherrytree86 · 07/07/2025 12:22

👍 You absolutely are right!

Show quote history

Phew 🤣

Some days you just don't know on here!

gingerbizcuit · 07/07/2025 12:26

This is unreasonable of you, it's one night! And he'd have no problem with you doing the same, you said. You feeling 'weird' about doing that is your issue, many people do it. It's healthy to carve out some time for your own hobbies!

Megifer · 07/07/2025 12:28

What?

have you missed out a load of key info?

Or is it literally as you've posted, which is "I don't want to go away so I don't want DH to either?"

ilovesooty · 07/07/2025 12:28

I don't think I've ever seen anything so unreasonable on here. I feel sorry for the husband who doesn't seem to have done anything wrong.

ultraviolet4753 · 07/07/2025 12:28

I'd go and have him drop me off at a shopping centre or similar before he went to the airshow. Meet back up in the afternoon.
Yabu

ShamrockShenanigans · 07/07/2025 12:29

I'm not really sure what this OP is up to here?

ilovesooty · 07/07/2025 12:30

ultraviolet4753 · 07/07/2025 12:28

I'd go and have him drop me off at a shopping centre or similar before he went to the airshow. Meet back up in the afternoon.
Yabu

Edited

She'd be there for a long time. He's going to be staying overnight.

Alltheyellowbirds · 07/07/2025 12:31

Are the grandparents taking the child for the whole weekend? If so, why don’t you go away too. Or if they’re just taking them for one day why don’t you spend it doing whatever your favourite things are so that you’ve had a treat also.

whitewineandsun · 07/07/2025 12:31

Cherrytree86 · 07/07/2025 12:13

@Pt4ever

i agree Op, once you have kids you should never have a weekend away. Hobbies are for pre- children life. It’s just not what parents do.

Show quote history

Please let this be sarcasm.

EDIT: Hard to know on here.

JLou08 · 07/07/2025 12:31

I'd be over the moon if my DH arranged childcare and took himself off for the weekend. A weekend alone sounds like bliss! I'd be booking myself a spa break.