To ask DH to no go away for weekend

[Pt4ever]

Hello,

I'll keep it brief.

DH is going away to an event in a few weeks for a night away I've no interest in the event (airshow 🙄🥱🥱) he went last year and had another weekend away doing something else in the winter of 2024

We've one DS who he's arranged childcare for with ho parents and worked overtime to pay for all travel/ hotel and tickets. I just feel like I don't really get a chance to go away for my hobbies, he's always said I can go away and we can afford it but it feels weird me up and going away for the weekend.

To ask him not to go? How would I explain it?

I don’t understand you Op.
Why on earth would you feel weird going away for a weekend for one of your hobbies? It doesn’t make sense.
Just because you don’t want to go away doesn’t mean that your DH shouldn’t.
Stop being so controlling

This is surely a reverse?!

I feel like I'm missing something here. However assuming the facts are as you have presented them then I'm sorry but you're being unreasonable. He's organised child care, you can afford it and he is encouraging you to take time for your hobby but you're not doing so. There's no valid reason for not wanting him to go unless you've missed a key part of the back story.

You definitely need to get a hobbie or go away with some friends or do something. The answer to you not wanting/having a reason to go away is not to stop him having a life. If it were every month, maybe unfair but once a year is minimal

Really unreasonable. Let him go and enjoy himself.

Exactly!

You are being utterly ridiculous. Also mean. Either go with him and entertain yourself while he’s enjoying the show or arrange your own weekend.

Ok so I have had these feelings a lot through my children growing up and whilst I sympathise you have to stop! Right now!

what might be happening is that he doesn’t have the same domestic load as you which means he has energy to plan. You feeling left out is a very short road to making yourself bitter and occupying the victim role.

you either need to

1. equalise the domestic load so you have headspace to plan exciting things
2. can’t beat them join them. Mount a supreme effort to have fun. It is infectious and you won’t need to do it a lot. Once every 6 months gives you the fuel you need to keep sight of your own identity, needs and wants in amongst marriage and parenting.

good luck.

You're being ridiculous 🙄 you don't like the idea of going away so you don't want dh to either... grow up.
Whys he sorted childcare can you not manage 1 child alone for a night dear christ 😂 id be embarrassed posting this tbh

Well the op hasn't come back, so I assume she's now embarrassed about having asked or this is a wind up.

🍿🍿 Me reading this on my way to the airport for a 3 day solo trip, leaving DH and 2DCs (primary age) behind with no remorse - DH very supportive

Imagine if it was the man writing this! Thankfully, everyone has jumped on you too 👌🏽

You are being completely unreasonable. Because you cannot fathom doing anything away from the family does not mean he cannot.

You are being stifling.

@Pt4ever

You: DH I really would rather you not go to the airshow.
Him: Why not?
You: Because I never go away for my hobbies.
Him: But I've told you to go away for your hobbies whenever you like.
You: I know. But I just don't ever do it.
Him: So, you don't want me to go away because you can't be bothered to go away yourself?
You: Yes, that's about it.
Him: 🤨

Can you see how unreasonable you sound?

why do you need to ask him not to go? Why can’t he go alone?
or is it that you don’t want to go and you need a way to say you don’t?

Tell him you’ll go away but won’t be attending the air show.. it’s just not your thing!
if you don’t want him to go… I don’t understand why not!
surely having your own hobbies is a good thing!

If you've got childcare why don't you go with him? You don't have to go to the air show, you could bimble around the local town or chill out at the hotel if it's nice, then go out with him for a lovely dinner (I'm assuming air shows are day time events!)

Quite honestly you are being ridiculous. I have 4 children and my husband has always had to work away even when they were tiny. You just cope! He has weekends away for fun too and I’ve gone away with my friends too. I must admit I tended to do it a bit less when they were small as I didn’t really want to or all my friends had little ones and they didn’t want to but now I do much more. It’s healthy to do things separately and with your friends. You need to actually plan something for yourself, even if that means going away to a spa hotel on your own and getting a good night’s sleep! Don’t forbid him for his reasonable trip.

Good grief. What is actually wrong with you that you begrudge your husband going away for one weekend, when you are perfectly able to do the same and he has even encouraged you to do so? And why has he had to arrange childcare? Do you work weekends or can you not look after your own kids for two days without him?

You sound suffocatingly clingy and controlling.

OP's thinking....It's so easy to wind 'em up and watch 'em go 😆

Do you think OP meant to say she's not allowed her own time? And her DH never thinks of the children? And they've no money for this, so DC are starving to pay for it.... but ChatGPT got the wrong end of the stick? 🤔

Are you actually the husband writing this and there’s way more to this story than you’ve explained?
if so, be honest with us and we’ll decide. OR let your partner write their side and then we’ll decide.
If you are the wife and this is the full story, then YABU.

YABU.🤷‍♀️

Is something missing from the post?

Why would he arrange childcare when you're at home?

Does he refuse to look after his own child?

I actively encourage my DH to go away a few times a year, it's good for him to have fun with friends away from family occasionally 🤷🏼‍♀️

I just feel like I don't really get a chance to go away for my hobbies, he's always said I can go away and we can afford it but it feels weird me up and going away for the weekend.

It sounds like he is literally offering you the chance to go away and encouraging you to.

You have the opportunity but just don't fancy it.

That's your decision.

You can't stop him doing what he wants to do.

He's arranged childcare for the weekend?

Book something you'd like to do and go with a friend. Concert, theatre, spa weekend, London weekend ... just do it!

You are being totally unreasonable. Just because you can’t bring yourself to take time away doesn’t mean he should be punished 🤷🏼‍♀️

If he is happy for you to go then you need to work out why you can’t bring yourself to do it.