To be annoyed none of my friends have come to my concerts?

[LaChanteuse]

I genuinely don't know if I'm BU. I'm in a choir and we have regular concerts. We're an amateur choir but pretty good and tickets are cheap - all proceeds go to charity. Locations are easy to get to - nothing miles away or with difficult parking etc.

I've been in the choir four years and have done about 10 concerts. DH comes every time (even though I've said he doesn't have to - he is the kindest person in the entire world) and my kids come when they can.

My local friends know when the concerts are on but they haven't come to a single one. If the tables were turned I'd be dying to see them performing - I wouldn't go to every concert but I'd go to one at least. AIBU to be annoyed they haven't made the effort? To be clear these are people I'm close to, not acquaintances.

You are interested in choirs and concerts. They are not.

A few of them are interested in choirs and concerts. Regardless, I would expect them to be interested in me as a friend.

I agree, showing support at least once would be reasonable.

Are they into music and the kind of songs that you sing at this choir? How long are the concerts?
Would you be dying to see them perform because you enjoy singing and attend this kind of event regularly ?

Couldn’t think of anything more dull than a seeing a choir .

I think YABU. You can’t expect them to, especially if they’re not interested in choir (they can’t ALL be surely).

That said, I wouldn’t expect them to watch me do something either, that’s my choice to do.

I’m a really easy going friend though.

You expect your friends to be interested in choirs because they're your friends? Have I read that right?

I for what it's worth fine choirs incredibly boring. If it was my child I would of course go and watch, but I would have absolutely zero interest in watching an amateur choir group bellowing in a church or the likes.

you can't expect your friends to be interested just because you are. That's not how the world works.

I sing in a choir. It's an amazing choir, a few friends have come but personally I couldn't think of anything more boring than going to listen to a choir and I never invite them directly.

Same..

I love live music, but choir, not really. I think it’s probably more fun for you to sing than to watch.

That's a shame. Choirs aren't my thing either but I would go once in a while to see a friend or relative.

I’m sure singing in it is great fun but watching it would be very dull, and they probably know this .

I'd be reluctant to go and I wouldn't expect my friends to go to my interests if it wasn't their their 'thing"

To me it's not about being interested in choirs, it's about being interested in a friend.

My DH has no interest in choirs whatsoever, but he comes every time because he knows the effort I put in and wants to support me. I don't expect that level of commitment from friends of course but one concert doesn't seem above and beyond.

I have gone to see friends play sports, act in terrible plays etc just because they're friends.

They are interested in you as a friend. That's why they spend time with you.

They are not interested in you as an amateur performer in a choir they don't care to go and see

Personally this isn't how I measure friendship.

I don't think being a friend should be a duty.

A good friend wouldn't expect another friend to come and see them in a terrible play.

Ha, I've sung in various choirs over the years (and sometimes go to other friends' choir concerts). I've had various friends come to watch me which I really appreciate, but I wouldn't expect it from anyone - because I'm quite fussy about which concerts I go to.

I once went to a friend's concert and the sopranos were out of tune. I obviously didn't say that to her but wouldn't go again. I'd also never go to Rock Choir etc as it's not my scene.

Do your friends actually like the sort of music you sing? And is your choir genuinely good? (I am resisting the temptation to ask which choir it is)

Did they ask you to come to these sport/drama events? Or did you just choose to go?

Have you asked your friends if they want to come along one time to see you perform?

I have a family member in a choir - I decline the invite every time.

Your expectations are too high in my opinion. We have been to see plays friends have directed etc to support them but it’s up to them how they spend their money and time.

It's a very niche interest OP, your voice would be indistinguishable from the rest and some music - especially choral - would bore others to sobs.

I certainly wouldn't expect family or friends to endure something they didn't really like - that'd be incredibly self-centred of me.

We can’t all show up for everything that our friends like to do.

Peoples lives are busy enough trying to juggle work, partners, children, aging parents, money worries, hobbies and anything else. People suffer enough over load and mental burnout from trying to juggle their lives that adding in supporting their friends hobbies is just too big of an ask.

Imagine if you have a group of 5 solid friends and each one has a different hobby. Choir singing, marathons, a sport, dancing, etc. Finding the time to attend their events just wouldn’t be possible on top of everything else going on in life.

You do it because you enjoy it, don’t expect everyone else in your life to have to include it in theirs.

I can see why you'd feel hurt.

However, from their pov, choirs are often just one big blended sound - kind of the main idea, really - so you can't always distinguish any one voice in the crowd.

How big is the choir? Are you a regular soloist? Do you think they would come if it was just you singing alone or as half of a duet - rayher than in a sea of voices?

Also, is it a choir with auditions/a minimum standard to be accepted? Some choirs have a (very noble) policy of automatically accepting everybody who wants to join - but the result is that you often end up with a few ultra-confident and very loud people who, shall we say, may have a great many talents, but singing is probably not in their personal Top 100!

I sing in an amateur choir.

honestly, our concerts are for family and friends. We’re not good enough for people who are genuine musicians, it’s about showcasing what we’ve done over the previous years.

I do ask family and friends if they’d like to come but it’s very much on a “I supported you by ensuring you/going to your triathlon etc so please support me” sort of basis.