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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel so upset about the death of Diogo Jota?

202 replies

Anfieldgirl · 03/07/2025 21:25

I obviously didn't know him personally but I am a Liverpool fan and see him on the pitch every week. I just feel so upset by it, crying reading all the tributes. His poor poor family, to lose the 2 brothers. So sad.

OP posts:
simsbustinoutmimi · 04/07/2025 03:45

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DailyEnergyCrisis · 04/07/2025 03:55

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Algonqueen · 04/07/2025 04:26

I’ve never heard of him. Sad for the families but if driving style in a Lamborghini was not one of the contributing factors, I’ll be surprised. I hope I am.

IAmNotASheep · 04/07/2025 04:27

The tire blew out whilst overtaking another car, it veered off the road and burst into flames
Most drivers would just slow down. I think

@BeliesBelief I agree and also think for such an accident to occur the car must have been going at a speed too fast to Control the car after the blow out.

Its very sad nevertheless that two young lives have been lost ! and this sort of thing just happens so much these days particularly with younger men.

Time to reflect on this sad case and keep safe

MsPug · 04/07/2025 07:57

I came on to say how sad we are here about this, all football clubs are family to their fans and whilst not a part of this one we might as well be for all the emotions it has stirred up in this house.

The comments about you know what I can't even say well I'm very sad about that also. Should be ashamed and maybe think how you would feel if you read this about your sons. Unsubstantiated and unwarranted.

hattie43 · 04/07/2025 07:58

I had never heard of him but to lose a young newly married father is just tragic , and his poor parents to lose 2 sons at the same time is beyond comprehension.

Illjusthavethebreadsticks · 04/07/2025 07:58

The world at his feet, the top of his game, life is so cruel sometimes.

TheTempest · 04/07/2025 08:01

I’m an Arsenal fan and I’ve been thinking about him and their poor family since. It’s just so sad, I’m thinking of their family and also the LFC family. ❤️

Floatlikeafeather2 · 04/07/2025 08:08

simsbustinoutmimi · 04/07/2025 00:26

Speeding can contribute to a tyre blowout

And sometimes it's just a tyre blow out. Could happen to anyone, even you.

NeedyOpalSquid · 04/07/2025 08:12

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SuburbanSprawl · 04/07/2025 08:15

BeliesBelief · 03/07/2025 23:09

I did say, ‘if it is confirmed.’

I admit I am more sensitive about this issue than most. When I was a teenager, I lost my seven year old cousin when her family’s car was smashed into by a boy racer, and her ten year old brother suffered a traumatic brain injury and has never been the same since. He was such a bright, articulate boy, but now he’s in his mid fifties, struggles to string a sentence together and still lives with his elderly parents. All of their lives were ruined by one selfish decision. As far as I’m concerned, speeders are scum.

All the more reason, surely, to be certain that you know that's the cause before you calibrate your sympathy.

DeathMetalMum · 04/07/2025 08:18

Not a Liverpool fan but this is incredibly sad. I was out shopping when I read the news and it stopped me in my tracks. Always enjoyed watching him play, and for the family to loose two son's is so sad.

The road looks like a dual carriageway even in this country some of them have speeds of 70mph. A blow out at that speed while overtaking will result in some loss of control of the vehicle. I don't think it's fair to start to speculate. Two young men have lost their lives.

Dartsplayer · 04/07/2025 08:25

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The trolls are definitely out today.

2 young men have lost their lives. 2 parents have lost both their children. A newly married wife has lost her husvand. 3 children have lost their father and are so young they possibly won't even remember him. If you can't say anything decent, don't say anything at all.

It is a very sad time for the LFC family. I even woke up this morning hoping it was a dream. So sad. RIP Diogo and Andre YNWA

RobertaFirmino · 04/07/2025 08:26

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Entitiled? Oh, you knew one of the brothers personally did you? Let's face it, you're only being snotty because they were footballers. Do you think it's fair that Rute and Andre's girlfriend should have to deal with speculation like this. That poor woman had to identify his body at the morgue for goodness sake. Show her some kindness and keep it zipped until you know the facts.

Lifestooshort71 · 04/07/2025 08:27

I'd never heard of him but always feel sad when a youngster loses his life and it must be tragic for the family to lose both brothers in the same accident. I admit, though, to being surprised at the universal coverage and public outpourings of grief for someone who wasn't a huge name outside football. I also think it's a little disrespectful that this public grief seems to make his brother an afterthought. Anyway, deepest sympathy for their family.

angelinawasrobbed · 04/07/2025 08:37

Thank goodness his parents have their grandchildren.

if speeding was a contributory factor , I hope some good can come of it: more awareness, a campaign? To many youngsters, it wouldn’t just be ‘yeah, yeah’, background noise, it would actually penetrate because of Jota.

JustFeedMeCake · 04/07/2025 08:41

Married just 10 days ago to his childhood sweetheart , three tiny children and his parents have now lost their two sons. It is devastating. Even if you don’t follow football or know who he is, it’s just horrific news.

Twogonksandapencil · 04/07/2025 08:52

IAmNotASheep · 04/07/2025 04:27

The tire blew out whilst overtaking another car, it veered off the road and burst into flames
Most drivers would just slow down. I think

@BeliesBelief I agree and also think for such an accident to occur the car must have been going at a speed too fast to Control the car after the blow out.

Its very sad nevertheless that two young lives have been lost ! and this sort of thing just happens so much these days particularly with younger men.

Time to reflect on this sad case and keep safe

Obviously we don't know what happened here, but I have had a tyre blow out when driving at fairly low speed (around 30 mph) and it was absolutely terrifying, the car was completely uncontrollable and veered off the road, rolled and landed in a field. So I don't think people should be making assumptions until the full facts are known.

TeenLifeMum · 04/07/2025 08:55

BeliesBelief · 03/07/2025 22:57

To be honest, yes and no.

I feel sorry for his wife and children, and his parents who have lost two sons in one night.

But it seems fairly likely his death was due to dangerous driving, and if that is confirmed, I have very little sympathy for him. Frankly, he’s lucky he didn’t take out any innocent strangers too - would there be such an outpouring of grief if his decision to drive at excessive speeds had killed a child, or a family, as well as himself? His legacy would certainly be tarnished.

I think there are few things more selfish than deliberate dangerous driving - be that speeding, driving under the influence, whatever. He had no right to endanger other road users.

Firstly, his brother was driving.
Secondly, they’ve been clear that there is no suggestion of dangerous driving. The tyre blew - could even have been the hot weather and a weakness in the tyre, but that’s speculation.

I’m not interested in football but dh is a Liverpool fan. As a mum and a wife it’s devastating. I am surprised how much it upset me. I think the thought of losing 2 dc in one go is just too much to comprehend. That poor family.

BeliesBelief · 04/07/2025 09:16

TeenLifeMum · 04/07/2025 08:55

Firstly, his brother was driving.
Secondly, they’ve been clear that there is no suggestion of dangerous driving. The tyre blew - could even have been the hot weather and a weakness in the tyre, but that’s speculation.

I’m not interested in football but dh is a Liverpool fan. As a mum and a wife it’s devastating. I am surprised how much it upset me. I think the thought of losing 2 dc in one go is just too much to comprehend. That poor family.

Neither of your first two points are true. Firstly, they haven’t confirmed who was driving, and either way, it makes little difference - if it was Andre, I’m sure he wouldn’t have been speeding in his brother’s £180,000 Lamborghini with said brother right next to him if Diogo wasn’t himself ok with it.

Secondly, they absolutely have not ruled out dangerous driving. Spanish police have explicitly said that they are investigating this as a potential speeding incident. A tyre blowout doesn’t mean they weren’t at fault - a tyre blowout is much more likely to happen when you’re driving at excessive speeds to start with, plus if it does happen to you, there’s a far better chance you’ll be able to maintain control of your vehicle, or that any resulting crash will be survivable, if you are driving safely within the speed limit.

MarigoldsOnTheMoon · 04/07/2025 09:33

I can't imagine how his bride of 5 days must be feeling. It's horrific. That poor man and his loved ones.

Anfieldgirl · 04/07/2025 09:40

BeliesBelief · 04/07/2025 09:16

Neither of your first two points are true. Firstly, they haven’t confirmed who was driving, and either way, it makes little difference - if it was Andre, I’m sure he wouldn’t have been speeding in his brother’s £180,000 Lamborghini with said brother right next to him if Diogo wasn’t himself ok with it.

Secondly, they absolutely have not ruled out dangerous driving. Spanish police have explicitly said that they are investigating this as a potential speeding incident. A tyre blowout doesn’t mean they weren’t at fault - a tyre blowout is much more likely to happen when you’re driving at excessive speeds to start with, plus if it does happen to you, there’s a far better chance you’ll be able to maintain control of your vehicle, or that any resulting crash will be survivable, if you are driving safely within the speed limit.

Can we maybe stop with this now. We don't know any details so there's no need for the speculation.

OP posts:
DeathMetalMum · 04/07/2025 10:13

Anfieldgirl · 04/07/2025 09:40

Can we maybe stop with this now. We don't know any details so there's no need for the speculation.

Exactly, I'm sure it's standard in most things like this to investigate speeding. We don't need to jump to conclusions and continue speculation like many pp's are.

DailyEnergyCrisis · 04/07/2025 10:38

BeliesBelief · 04/07/2025 09:16

Neither of your first two points are true. Firstly, they haven’t confirmed who was driving, and either way, it makes little difference - if it was Andre, I’m sure he wouldn’t have been speeding in his brother’s £180,000 Lamborghini with said brother right next to him if Diogo wasn’t himself ok with it.

Secondly, they absolutely have not ruled out dangerous driving. Spanish police have explicitly said that they are investigating this as a potential speeding incident. A tyre blowout doesn’t mean they weren’t at fault - a tyre blowout is much more likely to happen when you’re driving at excessive speeds to start with, plus if it does happen to you, there’s a far better chance you’ll be able to maintain control of your vehicle, or that any resulting crash will be survivable, if you are driving safely within the speed limit.

Honestly- your post is full of assumptions and conjecture about a situation you know nothing about, other than that two young men died. Why is your focus on laying blame somewhere? Is this the type of human you really want to be?

TeenLifeMum · 04/07/2025 10:39

BeliesBelief · 04/07/2025 09:16

Neither of your first two points are true. Firstly, they haven’t confirmed who was driving, and either way, it makes little difference - if it was Andre, I’m sure he wouldn’t have been speeding in his brother’s £180,000 Lamborghini with said brother right next to him if Diogo wasn’t himself ok with it.

Secondly, they absolutely have not ruled out dangerous driving. Spanish police have explicitly said that they are investigating this as a potential speeding incident. A tyre blowout doesn’t mean they weren’t at fault - a tyre blowout is much more likely to happen when you’re driving at excessive speeds to start with, plus if it does happen to you, there’s a far better chance you’ll be able to maintain control of your vehicle, or that any resulting crash will be survivable, if you are driving safely within the speed limit.

They haven’t ruled it out because of course they need to investigate. 2 people have died. Stop being an arse and forcing your own unsubstantiated narrative.

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