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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel so upset about the death of Diogo Jota?

202 replies

Anfieldgirl · 03/07/2025 21:25

I obviously didn't know him personally but I am a Liverpool fan and see him on the pitch every week. I just feel so upset by it, crying reading all the tributes. His poor poor family, to lose the 2 brothers. So sad.

OP posts:
BeliesBelief · 03/07/2025 23:15

nomas · 03/07/2025 23:03

You’re being very premature. Reports say a tyre blew out in his car, so it sounds like an accident.

Wait for the facts before judging.

I hope I’m wrong, and this was just a tragic accident with no one at fault, but Spanish police have said they are investigating this as a potential speeding incident.

And if they were speeding, it’s very possible that a tyre blowing out and the subsequent crash could have been survivable at a lower speed.

RobertaFirmino · 03/07/2025 23:15

BeliesBelief · 03/07/2025 22:57

To be honest, yes and no.

I feel sorry for his wife and children, and his parents who have lost two sons in one night.

But it seems fairly likely his death was due to dangerous driving, and if that is confirmed, I have very little sympathy for him. Frankly, he’s lucky he didn’t take out any innocent strangers too - would there be such an outpouring of grief if his decision to drive at excessive speeds had killed a child, or a family, as well as himself? His legacy would certainly be tarnished.

I think there are few things more selfish than deliberate dangerous driving - be that speeding, driving under the influence, whatever. He had no right to endanger other road users.

You have no idea how it happened. You don't even know who was driving.

Liverpool supporters know only too well how important it is to report only facts. I suggest you take the same attitude.

SummerFrog25 · 03/07/2025 23:26

A young man, Dad of 3 young children & recent DH.

Parents losing 2 sons..

it's tragic, even if the driver was speeding. I hope they are cleared of drugs/alcohol & speeding, as their families (& fans) don't need it made worse by feeling there was an element of 'avoidability'.

so incredibly sad 🥲

Ivesaidenough · 03/07/2025 23:31

My family are Liverpool fans. I had a cry today, I am not even a football supporter. They were so young. (Crying again 😢)

MummytoBoth · 03/07/2025 23:31

I’ve felt so sad all day! Jota the slotter always happy always smiling! He might not of been a direct relative but he was part of our football family. So tragic. Anfield was packed tonight with people who feel the same OP. Collective outpouring of grief for someone who has passed way too soon ❤️

SundayGirl86 · 03/07/2025 23:31

It’s utterly heartbreaking and an unimaginable tragedy for his family. My heart goes out to them.

murasaki · 03/07/2025 23:36

They were on their way to Santander to get the ferry to the UK to rejoin the club for pre season as he'd been told not to fly post surgery. I think it's vanishingly unlikely that drink or drugs were involved, and it's horrible to suggest it just because it was two young rich men in an expensive car.

ChillWith · 03/07/2025 23:38

It's very sad. A young man and his younger brother taken out in their prime. The awful news their parents received. The awful news Diogo's wife received and then his three children. And Andre's girlfriend too. My heart goes out to every one of them. Much love to all fans and people feeling this huge loss today.

JasonTindallsTan · 03/07/2025 23:46

As a Newcastle fan I’ve shed tears over this today, the tributes are all ones that point to Jota being a really decent sort. Arne Slot’s was absolutely pitch perfect. The poor parents, losing two children is a tragedy and I can’t imagine the pain his new wife and children are going through.

Tallyrand · 03/07/2025 23:46

I feel sad about it and it serves as a reminder that life is cruel and unpredictable.

His poor family are in my thoughts.

A tragedy like this transcends football.

AngelofIslington · 04/07/2025 00:12

BeliesBelief · 03/07/2025 22:57

To be honest, yes and no.

I feel sorry for his wife and children, and his parents who have lost two sons in one night.

But it seems fairly likely his death was due to dangerous driving, and if that is confirmed, I have very little sympathy for him. Frankly, he’s lucky he didn’t take out any innocent strangers too - would there be such an outpouring of grief if his decision to drive at excessive speeds had killed a child, or a family, as well as himself? His legacy would certainly be tarnished.

I think there are few things more selfish than deliberate dangerous driving - be that speeding, driving under the influence, whatever. He had no right to endanger other road users.

What an awful post. Until you know the facts you should not be judging a person who has just died.
You are not party to the cause of the crash, it is mere speculation on your part, very similar to a certain paper blaming 97 innocent people who died in 1987 without being party to the actual facts.
Your post is disgusting

simsbustinoutmimi · 04/07/2025 00:16

I really hope he was wearing a seatbelt and wasn’t drink driving or speeding, but from the photos of the crunched car it’s obvious he was going way too fast.

A boy at my school crashed his car while speeding
and killed himself and the boy sat behind him. the police said had he been wearing a seatbelt then the boy behind him would’ve survived.

the rules of the road are there for a reason

simsbustinoutmimi · 04/07/2025 00:17

BeliesBelief · 03/07/2025 23:15

I hope I’m wrong, and this was just a tragic accident with no one at fault, but Spanish police have said they are investigating this as a potential speeding incident.

And if they were speeding, it’s very possible that a tyre blowing out and the subsequent crash could have been survivable at a lower speed.

Yes I agree. My thoughts are with their families, but going by the pap photos of the crunched car, with no other cars nearby damaged, it would appear they were going way too fast. If they’d obeyed the rules of the road they would both probably still be alive. Thank god nobody else was hurt or killed.

StrikeForever · 04/07/2025 00:25

BeliesBelief · 03/07/2025 22:57

To be honest, yes and no.

I feel sorry for his wife and children, and his parents who have lost two sons in one night.

But it seems fairly likely his death was due to dangerous driving, and if that is confirmed, I have very little sympathy for him. Frankly, he’s lucky he didn’t take out any innocent strangers too - would there be such an outpouring of grief if his decision to drive at excessive speeds had killed a child, or a family, as well as himself? His legacy would certainly be tarnished.

I think there are few things more selfish than deliberate dangerous driving - be that speeding, driving under the influence, whatever. He had no right to endanger other road users.

The accident was caused by a tyre blow out.

simsbustinoutmimi · 04/07/2025 00:26

StrikeForever · 04/07/2025 00:25

The accident was caused by a tyre blow out.

Speeding can contribute to a tyre blowout

simsbustinoutmimi · 04/07/2025 00:27

StrikeForever · 04/07/2025 00:25

The accident was caused by a tyre blow out.

in fact driving at excess speeds can massively exacerbate the issue.

a car wouldn’t have ended up crunched like that if someone was driving slowly

SemperIdem · 04/07/2025 00:28

It is extremely sad that he and is brother have died so young. I have so much sympathy for his wife, children and parents.

It is however, very unlikely that he was driving his Urus at a reasonable speed when the crash occurred.

RobertaFirmino · 04/07/2025 00:35

simsbustinoutmimi · 04/07/2025 00:27

in fact driving at excess speeds can massively exacerbate the issue.

a car wouldn’t have ended up crunched like that if someone was driving slowly

Stop gloating.

You haven't got a clue about the facts. Nobody has. Could you imagine being Rute and there's all kinds of fishwives pointing the finger at your husband and blathering on like they're some kind of forensics expert? Show her some kindness ffs.

Strawbsplease · 04/07/2025 00:39

Lifelong Liverpool fan here and at 48 I’ve experienced my share of sadness in life but today’s news shook me. It’s so sad, for his poor parents who’ve lost their sons (their only children), his wife, his babies who most likely won’t remember him.
I also had a little weep behind my sunglasses while walking the dog.

guernseydonkey · 04/07/2025 01:04

I hadn't heard of him before- not a football fan, obviously- but I don't blame you. Accidents like this are absolutely tragic in so many ways.

I remember when Emiliano Sala was killed in a plane crash. It was so local to me, everyone in the islands had a front-row seat for the outpouring of grief, the support for the search effort, and the love for the teams and the family. Again, I hadn't heard of him beforehand, but I cried over his loss more than once as news came in. It's moments like that which show just how much people connect and build community through sports, and how the emotion transcends the game altogether.

simsbustinoutmimi · 04/07/2025 01:40

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DrCoconut · 04/07/2025 02:05

I had never heard of him before today either but it's very sad for his family.

burblish · 04/07/2025 02:07

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What on earth is wrong with you to say something like "I hope driving at excess speed was worth it"?! Apart from the fact that it hasn't been established yet what speed the car was going at, do you sincerely think a sarcastic comment like that is appropriate?

WellMaybeYouShouldntBeLivingHeeeeeeee · 04/07/2025 02:19

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It’s really hard to tell from reading this whether you’re remarkably tone deaf, or just a shit

BeliesBelief · 04/07/2025 03:30

StrikeForever · 04/07/2025 00:25

The accident was caused by a tyre blow out.

A) Spanish police have stated they are investigating this as a potential speeding incident,

B) Driving at excessive speeds greatly increases the risk of a tyre blowout.

C) Its very possible that a tyre blowout and the subsequent crash would have been survivable had they been driving at a lower speed.

D) If you look at the images of the wreckage, with the car literally obliterated - it’s very hard to imagine how that level of destruction could have been caused by a crash within the speed limit.

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