Dumped for kissing someone else….do I contact?

[Lolololalaura]

So I am a horrible person and have made a massive mistake.

Ive been with my boyfriend 3 years. We’ve never lived together but live close by to each other. I kissed someone else and yesterday I admitted it to him by text (I’m away and that’s where it happened)

He replied “It’s over. You have no integrity. Don’t contact me again”

i haven’t been able to explain myself am I being unreasonable to want to message him today or do I literally just not contact him as requested. When people in break ups say don’t contact do they actually mean it!?

I have to say, if I was your boyfriend, I'd do the same as he has, therefore YABU. What possible explanation do you have for cheating?

Although I don’t know the whole context, it’s understandable that he’d be emotional after you admitted this to him. It makes sense that he doesn’t want to speak to you.

There’s no explanation for kissing someone else than negates it OP. Good for him for kicking you straight to the curb.

He asked you not to contact him, and frankly I don't think you're entitled to explain yourself.

Of course he doesn’t want any contact with you. You cheated on him and he has ended the relationship. What were you expecting?

There’s no explanation which can justify it, so there’s nothing to say.

You confessed to cheating by text? Why didn't you call him? Then you could have had a conversation. You've taken the cowards way out by texting him. Don't text him again. When you're home from your trip ask if you can see him face to face to talk about it like grown ups. If he doesn't want to that's his perogative.

You confessed by text, he dumped you by text. You overstepped the (assumed) boundary of not cheating, so YABU to then overstep his clear boundary of not contacting him

Do you not know him very well, then? You surprised by his response?

You told him by text? Are you 14?

What did you think would happen?

Leave him alone.

He deserves better, and thankfully seems to know that too.

Unless you were performing CPR then there is no excuse

When people in break ups say don’t contact do they actually mean it!?

Yes, especially when they've been cheated on and then disrespected again by being notified by text.

Contacting someone after you've been told not to is harassment.

There's never an excuse for cheating, so it's fine to not explain.

Why did you tell him? What did you think would happen?

I think you have to accept you messed up and that isn't wrong to end this relationship. I suppose it is possible he could forgive you and come back but give him space and don't hold your breath. Instead make a clean break and next time you invest in a relationship consider what you have to lose before doing something silly.

You don't have any rights to try and explain your situation. You've been asked not to contact him, so simply put, do not contact him if you have any consideration or respect for him. If he decides in the future to contact you, that is different.

It’s horrendous to suddenly go no contact but you’ve cheated and he’s entitled to cut you dead.

You need to respect that kissing someone else was a non-negotiable boundary that he (and many others) will not cross.

Don’t contact him. There’s no excuse that will change his mind (a healthcare professional administrating CPR wouldn’t call it kissing ) No
contact means no contact.

You kissed someone, how will you explaining it make it any better? What is there to explain?

He's making a massive deal of a kiss. It was a mistake, you've owned up to it and now he's acting like a baby.

You told him by text, presumably because you wanted to make yourself feel better now you want to explain yourself, again to make yourself feel better. So, no, don’t contact him, leave him alone.

You want to explain to make yourself feel better, not him. No amount of justification changes the facts. He’s told you he doesn’t want contact so respect that. The last thing he wants to hear are the details of the cheating, especially via text! Leave him alone and learn how to be faithful or stay single.

I like his style