Page 3 | Dumped for kissing someone else….do I contact?

Lolololalaura · 2025-07-01T14:17:42+00:00

So I am a horrible person and have made a massive mistake. Ive been with my boyfriend 3 years. We’ve never lived together but live close by to each other. I kissed someone else and yesterday I admitted it to him by text (I’m away and that’s where it happened) He replied “It’s over. You have no integrity. Don’t contact me again” i haven’t been able to explain myself am I being unreasonable to want to message him today or do I literally just not contact him as requested. When people in break ups say don’t contact do they actually mean it!?

Yogabearmous · 01/07/2025 16:18

Just leave it and move on now, it’s over.

WTF987 · 01/07/2025 16:18

You've cheated on him. That's all he needs to know and he's out.

You want to explain because it will make you feel better. It's not for his benefit. You just have to accept what you did and move on and do better.

MounjaroMounjaro · 01/07/2025 16:21

Your thread should read: "Help! I'm a cheat and my boyfriend has boundaries!"

Delphiniumandlupins · 01/07/2025 16:25

If you think he might reevaluate when he has calmed down then send ONE more message saying you will get in touch when you are back home and hope he is willing to meet so you can apologise properly. He may have already blocked you however. I don't think he will be interested in an explanation.

Iceandfire92 · 01/07/2025 16:25

All of those holier than thou people. It was a stupid kiss, she's owned up to it, hopefully never to be repeated again. Honestly, with everything going on in the world, who on earth would get their knickers into a twist over a silly kiss (possibly drunken)? No bodily fluids were exchanged nor did any affair occur.

VirginaGirl · 01/07/2025 16:26

This doesn't make you a horrible person, OP. You aren't the first to have made such a mistake and you won't be the last!

irrelevantdaughter · 01/07/2025 16:29

Give him some time to cool down OP and then see if he will meet with you. Good luck

Wolfpa · 01/07/2025 16:30

3 years and you told him by text? I get you are away so face to face is not an option but did he not deserve a phone call?

FrenchandSaunders · 01/07/2025 16:30

A kiss 🤷🏼‍♀️, bit dramatic of him IMO!

RunningBlueFox · 01/07/2025 16:31

Why did you text him? And how did you expect him to react? I'd dump you on the basis you thought a text was an appropriate way to communicate.

Motherofalittledragon · 01/07/2025 16:34

Sounds fair to me, you couldn’t even do the decent thing and tell him face to face.

ballettap · 01/07/2025 16:35

I'm surprised so many think it's fine to kiss someone else when in a long term relationship.

It's not even just about the physical act of kissing, it's the leading up to it. The time spent flirting or whatever else. If you can do it once while drunk you can easily do it again. He is probably (and quite rightly) not wanting to put himself through being paranoid every time OP goes on a night out or holiday.

The fact you've told him while you're still there and presumably so is this other person, is hardly going to help, is it?

As for texting it and now upset you can't make excuses...

noidea69 · 01/07/2025 16:36

Iceandfire92 · 01/07/2025 16:25

All of those holier than thou people. It was a stupid kiss, she's owned up to it, hopefully never to be repeated again. Honestly, with everything going on in the world, who on earth would get their knickers into a twist over a silly kiss (possibly drunken)? No bodily fluids were exchanged nor did any affair occur.

Edited

oh come on, if it was the boyfriend who text saying "i've cheated on you, but its ok because because there is conflict in israel, so just get over it sweet heart" i doubt that would be received well.

BunnyLake · 01/07/2025 16:36

I admire his boundaries.

When you say explain yourself what exactly do you mean?

GatoradeMeBitch · 01/07/2025 16:37

To throw a three year relationship away without even talking about it feels extreme, but different people have different boundaries. He's made himself very clear. The most decent thing you can do is honour that.

steff13 · 01/07/2025 16:39

Iceandfire92 · 01/07/2025 16:25

All of those holier than thou people. It was a stupid kiss, she's owned up to it, hopefully never to be repeated again. Honestly, with everything going on in the world, who on earth would get their knickers into a twist over a silly kiss (possibly drunken)? No bodily fluids were exchanged nor did any affair occur.

Edited

He's entitled to set his own boundaries in a relationship. This crossed his boundary, ergo, he's ended the relationship. He hasn't done anything wrong, and the OP needs to respect his choice.

SixteenClovesOfGarlic · 01/07/2025 16:40

@GatoradeMeBitch it wasn't the ex that threw the relationship away.

BunnyLake · 01/07/2025 16:41

Iceandfire92 · 01/07/2025 16:25

All of those holier than thou people. It was a stupid kiss, she's owned up to it, hopefully never to be repeated again. Honestly, with everything going on in the world, who on earth would get their knickers into a twist over a silly kiss (possibly drunken)? No bodily fluids were exchanged nor did any affair occur.

Edited

Sometimes everything going on in the world has absolutely nothing to do with what is going on in your relationship. What a really strange thing to say.

Digdongdoo · 01/07/2025 16:41

If it was just a mistake, a single kiss, why did you even tell him? What did you expect the reaction to be? Sure you could try and contact him again, but honestly neither of you seem all that invested in the relationship so I wouldn't bother.

Boomer55 · 01/07/2025 16:42

Telling him by text was a mistake. You should (if you needed to tell him) phoned and explained.

CurlewKate · 01/07/2025 16:42

ldgso · 01/07/2025 15:46

I would message him again and keep doing so every few days. He might be able to get past a kiss if you haven’t done anything like this previously?

Did you cheat because you’re unhappy, don’t find him attractive anymore? Drunk?

Did You tell him out of guilt, or did someone else know about it and would’ve told him?

No means no for men too.

BunnyLake · 01/07/2025 16:42

ballettap · 01/07/2025 16:35

I'm surprised so many think it's fine to kiss someone else when in a long term relationship.

It's not even just about the physical act of kissing, it's the leading up to it. The time spent flirting or whatever else. If you can do it once while drunk you can easily do it again. He is probably (and quite rightly) not wanting to put himself through being paranoid every time OP goes on a night out or holiday.

The fact you've told him while you're still there and presumably so is this other person, is hardly going to help, is it?

As for texting it and now upset you can't make excuses...

Totally. He’s left a red flag, how can that be criticised?

LastnightIdreamtIwenttoManderleyagain · 01/07/2025 16:43

RunningBlueFox · 01/07/2025 16:31

Why did you text him? And how did you expect him to react? I'd dump you on the basis you thought a text was an appropriate way to communicate.

This really. If you truly regret it and are sure it would never happen again (and that he won’t ever hear about it from someone else), then these things are often better left unsaid - other people may have different opinions I know. But if you really felt you had to tell him, it was bloody stupid to do it by text, rather than face to face when you were back. What did you expect him to say?

CopperWhite · 01/07/2025 16:44

If you wanted a chance to explain, you shouldn’t have done it over text. That’s a horrible way to tell someone you’ve been dating for three years that you’ve cheated on them. He is right, he’s better off without you contacting him.

BunnyLake · 01/07/2025 16:44

FrenchandSaunders · 01/07/2025 16:30

A kiss 🤷🏼‍♀️, bit dramatic of him IMO!

So your partner knows you’re fine with them kissing other people?